


When We Were Young

by canampbell, The_Trees_Speak_Latin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist! Keith, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Neighbors, Rain, Slow Build, Slow Burn, bi!lance, gay!keith, literally their life story, non-binary Pidge, paper airplanes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 78,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9849044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canampbell/pseuds/canampbell, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Trees_Speak_Latin/pseuds/The_Trees_Speak_Latin
Summary: When the doorbell rang he sprinted to it, hoping for something to do. When he opened it, there was the new boy next door, his dark hair clinging to his head, and his clothes dripping, and leaving spots on their porch. He grinned at Lance and Lance grinned back.“Hi, I’m Keith!” he said, sticking out a hand towards Lance. Lance took it and responded with his own name. “Wanna come play?”---or the neighbor au about two oblivious idiots that had each other, lost each other and then found each other again.





	1. It was just like a movie, it was just like a song

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: We don't own Voltron
> 
> Title creds to Adele
> 
> Feel free to make art, just credit us. Our tumblrs are  
> https://canampbell.tumblr.com  
> https://keith-kogayyyne.tumblr.com  
> http://spacegaysandvoltron.tumblr.com/  
> hope you like it:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short! We promise they won't all be this short.

The first time Lance McClain saw Keith Kogane, it was raining. Lance was standing in his front lawn, his hair plastered to his face. The six year old stared up into the sky, barely flinching as a large droplet landed on his nose. His eyes traced the falling water as he watched, unblinking, as the clouds drew closer. Behind him, he could hear the clap of the door closing as his older brother joined him on the lawn. 

“Come on. Mom said the new neighbors are moving in today! When they come, she wants you to bring them some food.” Julio explained. Lance nodded and turned toward the door as his brother returned inside. He closed his eyes for a second, the consistent  _ tap tap  _ of the rain hitting the sidewalk calming him. With a start, he rushed inside his house.

Things in the McClain household were never quiet and there was no such thing as personal space. It didn’t bother Lance, the constant raucous was almost comforting to him. As he followed Julio’s footsteps, Lance was once again cloaked in noise. He ran into the kitchen and tugged on his Mamá’s skirt.  

  
“Hijo, can you do me a big favor?” She asked, bending down so she was level with her son. Lance’s mother was firm but fair. She was the perfect person to talk to if you needed  _ anything  _ and always smelled like cinnamon.

“Yeah, Mamá!” Lance responded, blue eyes wide and grinning. 

“When the new family next door arrives and is finished unloading their stuff, can you bring a basket over to them?”  She asked, her tone soft and sweet.

“I can do that!” He announced and put on his best smile. 

“I knew you could. That’s mi precioso chico.” His mother grinned and ruffles his hair. Lance raced back outside and stared at the other house. 

About a half an hour later, Lance was beginning to get bored. He’d given up throwing a ball against the house when he lost it in the bushes. Finally, the sound of tires on gravel caught his attention.

“They’re here!” Lance shouted, racing through his house. After alerting practically everyone in the house of their neighbors arrival, Lance returned back outside. 

The family that climbed out of the car was small. There was a woman with long black hair, a man with closely cropped dark hair and two kids. As Lance tried to get a closer look, a moving van pulled up, blocking his view. A few people climbed out of the front seats of the van and move to the back, beginning to transfer tarp clad furniture into the house. The man and woman from the previous car started to help by carrying in a few lamps. A boy of about thirteen followed them inside, carrying a box. The last to enter the house was a boy of about Lance’s age, trailing after the older boy, clutching a toy. The moving people returned to finish unloading but the family stayed inside. Lance watched until the moving truck drove away before rushing inside his house. 

“Mamá! I’m going to give them their present!” Lance shouted excitedly. He reached for the basket, barely able to hold it up. The basket is filled with homemade muffins, cookies and chayote fritters. He struggled to carry it to the door but set a determined look on his face. His mother asked him to do this, and he would try his best. 

He approached the door of the neighbors house and carefully set the basket down, letting out a sigh. The weight of it had been starting to strain his arms. Lance reached up high, tapping the doorbell and rocking on his heels as he waited for someone to answer. 

  
The door finally opened to reveal the older boy he’d seen earlier. Up close, Lance felt small next to the taller boy and he could clearly see the other’s dark grey eyes. 

“Hi! I’m Lance, I live next door. My Mamá made these for you.” He said, motioning towards the basket. 

“Thank you! I’m Takashi Shirogane, but you can call me Shiro.” Shiro smiled. “Mom! A neighbor brought us some food!” He called out into the barren house behind him. Lance peered over his shoulder and caught sight of the younger brother. As soon as the other boy saw him, he ducked back into another room. Shiro turned to face Lance. “I have to go help unpack. Thanks so much for the food!” The older boy explained as he almost effortlessly lifted the basket. Lance grinned in response and raced home. New neighbors are a good thing, he decided as he entered his house. 

\---------------------------------------------

The first time Lance actually met Keith was a few days later, the storm still lingering, and the sidewalks still flooded. Lance was inside, shooting his nerf gun at Ana and then running away. She was sitting by the window, trying to read, and every time he shot her, she seemed to get just a bit more angry. Which, of course, Lance found hilarious. 

All of his siblings were nine or older and thought that they were too old to play with a five year old. Everyone in his family was getting annoyed with him, but they wouldn’t let him go outside because of the rain. He was restless. 

So, when the doorbell rang he sprinted to it, hoping for something to do. When he opened it, there was the new boy next door, his dark hair clinging to his head, and his clothes dripping, and leaving spots on their porch. He grinned at Lance and Lance grinned back. 

“Hi, I’m Keith!” he said, sticking out a hand towards Lance. Lance took it and responded with his own name. “Wanna come play?” 

Lance scratched the back of his head and looked out behind Keith. “Outside? But it’s raining,” Lance responded, hesitantly. 

“Exactly!” Keith said, “Get on your rain boots and we can splash in the puddles!” 

“Okay, but I don’t know if my mom will let me, let me go ask!” He stepped inside a few steps and said, “Mom, can I-”

“Yes!” Ana groaned in response before their mom could say anything. “Go on, get out of here.” 

Lance returned to the door with a big smile and rainboots. “Let’s go!” 

Keith grabbed his hand, pulling him out into the rain. “I bet that you can’t make a bigger splash than me.” 

Lance beamed at him, “Oh, please, I so could.” 

Keith then let go of his hand and raced down the sidewalk, leaping into a puddle and being soaked from head to toe. “Haha, beat that!” 

“I will!”  Lance responded, jumping into the air and coming down hard onto another puddle, which splashed a bit, but not nearly as much as Keith’s. 

“Haha, I win,” Keith smirked. 

“Whatever, it’s only because you’re taller and your puddle was bigger!” He said, sticking his tongue out at him. 

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!” 

“It’s because I’m better,” Keith said, squinting his eyes at him. 

“It is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!” Lance said, reaching down to scoop some water in his hand and splashing Keith. 

“Is too!” Keith splashed him back, starting an all out war between the two. 

Somewhere in the midst of splashing, their frowns turned into laughter. It went on for awhile, running into the backyard, each one chasing the other with the water cupped in their hands slowly leaking out. 

After a while, Keith’s mother stepped outside and called Keith inside, so they said goodbye, and each went into their houses. When Lance went in, dinner was ready, so his mom changed him into some dry clothes, and then his entire family came to sit at the table. 

His brother, Ben was talking about how hard his classes are, which moved into Ana asking him questions about the high school that she and he would both be attending next year. To Lance, this was all incredibly boring, and he wanted to talk about Power Rangers. But as they continued talking about how Ana would be fine, and at least she had one more year left, his eyes began to close. Maybe it was the warm food, the dry clothes, the dull conversation or a combination of the three, but soon enough Lance had face planted in the half eaten pulpeta on his plate, sound asleep. 

\---------------------------------------------

About a month later, Keith was a regular occurrence at Lance’s house and Lance at Keith’s. The two rapidly grew inseparable, both families accepting the new addition. Lance grew close with Shiro as well, though not quite in the same way. Keith had already formed new bonds with Lance’s sisters, more for being a willing victim of random hair styling than anything. 

Lance was playing at Keith’s house one day, the two of them crouched next to the sofa and playing Power Rangers. The doorbell rang and Shiro raced downstairs, hurriedly opening the door to reveal two kids. One of them was Shiro’s age with round glasses and spiky brown hair. The other looked a bit younger than Keith and Lance with long brown hair and a green dress. 

She was smiling at them, although it was more of a smirk, and it was easy to tell by the look on her face that she was the kind of person that caused trouble and got away with it. Her copper eyes twinkled up at the boys as if she was reading them right there. In that moment, they watched the gears in her head turn as she decided right there whether she liked them or not. 

“Keith! Lance! This is my friend Matt and his younger sister, Katie. Can you let her play with you guys?” Shiro asked, though it was less of a question and more of an order. She narrowed her eyes briefly at the boys, a realization dawning on them that they would be intimidated by this little girl for the rest of their lives.

“Of course.” Keith responded. He waved at the girl and she came over to them, the two older kids running upstairs. Her glare had mellowed out into an easy smile by now, but she still had that look in her eyes. The one that gave her instant respect. 

“I’m Lance!” He grinned, putting out a fist for her to bump. 

She paused for a second, taking in the sight of his hand. “Katie.” She responded, bumping his fist and flashing him a grin. Keith explained the game they were playing to her and she nodded in understanding. After only a few hours, Katie was officially part of the duo that had previously consisted of Keith and Lance. 

The group was watching constellations that night, laying on a blanket in Keith's backyard. 

"That's the big dipper. My brother really likes space and he taught me that," Keith said, pointing at the sky. 

"Oh yeah! I knew that! My brother likes space too, and that's why our brothers are friends," Katie squirmed around in the blanket trying to get more comfortable.

"Yeah," Keith said and then the conversation was quiet for a bit.

As they watched the clear night sky, it illuminated their faces. There was supposed to be a meteor shower on this night, and the stars were especially bright. It was a special thing because although their city wasn’t as big as New York, it was still fairly large and the smog hid the sky most nights. This was the first time any of them had really seen the stars. It was the first time any of them had really taken a moment to think about them other than briefly making wishes from their windows.

Suddenly, a shooting star streaked across the constellations and all three sat up. Katie’s mouth opened in awe along with Lance’s, but Keith’s reaction was different. It would’ve been easy to see, even if you didn’t know him at all, that this boy had a connection with the stars. His eyes lit up in a way that only something very important can make them. He didn’t gasp or cheer, but he just stared, a faint smile on his face.  

"Aliens." Keith and Katie said simultaneously, their eyes meeting each other. They both grinned at each other, eyes wide in bewilderment. 

Lance rolled his eyes at them, "Oh come on guys, it's just a meteor. My sister said that-"

"Oh shush Lance. They are aliens," Keith elbowed Lance who rolled his eyes again, but grinned nonetheless. "And someday, I will know because I will be up there with them, exploring the galaxy." Keith smiled up at the stars, his eyes bright with wistful dreaming.

The other two went home after an hour, but Keith stayed out there, eventually falling asleep on the blanket, dreaming about flying in space, meeting aliens and discovering things that no one had ever imagined. 

\---------------------------------------------

The trio turned into a quartet when Lance introduced Hunk to the other two. Lance had known Hunk for practically his whole life, the boy lived three blocks away and their parents were friends, though the other boy had never met Keith and Katie. He was, of course, immediately accepted by the other two.

"This is Hunk, he's my other best friend," Lance said, while the other chubby five-year-old fidgeted nervously next to him.

"Hiya, I'm Katie, well my real name is Katherine, but that is way too long and hard to say so I just go by Katie. I'm Lance's other best friend, but I can't have sleepovers as much as he and Keith do because I'm not a boy and I don't live next door to them." She smiled and stuck out a hand, grinning at the much taller boy.

"Hi, I'm Hunk, but it isn't short for anything, it's just my name." He said, quirking an eyebrow at Katie's odd explanation, but smiling at her. They shook hands, smiling at each other and then everyone turned to Keith.

Keith was chalking on the sidewalk, humming to himself. "I'm Keith, but I'm sure Lance already told you that. Do you know how to play hide and seek, Hunk?"

"Yeah! One time Lance and I hid in trash cans and the adults couldn't find us for half an hour." Hunk replied, him and Lance exchanging a grin.

"Good because I'm super bored. I'll be the seeker you guys hide. Ready, set, go!" Keith yelled and began to count as the other three sprinted away.

\---------------------------------------------

Soon enough it was Lance’s seventh birthday and the guest list consisted of Keith, Katie, Hunk, Shiro, Matt and Lance’s siblings. 

They were eating cake, the four kids whispering at a different table from the rest of the group. Lance was wearing a sparkly pink crown that read,  _ It’s my birthday!  _

“Guys, wanna have a dance party?” Lance blurted out, interrupting Keith and Katies conversation about how many bruises each one had, and causing Hunk to look up from his piece of cake for the first time since he got it. 

“Yeah!” Keith said and stood up. Dance parties at the McClain household were a regular occurrence, each of Lance’s family members were good at dancing and Lance loved to sing, so he sang along while dancing. Keith had spent many nights, prancing around the room to whatever the newest pop songs were in English and Spanish. He and Lance would stay up for hours, choreographing dances and making music videos of them. Lance even had a bucket of costumes in the guest bedroom that the kids would use to dress up. 

“But, I haven’t finished my cake… oh alright!” Hunk said, having partaken in many of the dance parties before. 

Katie didn’t even have to say anything, she was already skipping over to their stereo and turning on the radio. 

_ You wouldn’t believe your eyes, if ten million fireflies… _

The children cheered and began to dance around the room, belting the words. Lance sounded the best out of them by far, but it was fun and they were children, so they couldn’t care less what they sounded like. 

Keith was jumping around, when Lance grabbed his hands and the two boys began to jump in a circle while holding hands. Soon enough, Katie and Hunk joined into the circle, and they all leaped around, hands interlocked. 

The children laughed as they continued to jump even after the song had ended. 

“Say cheese, niños!” Lance’s mom said, facing a camera towards the group. They all turned and gave their weirdest faces, before breaking into a fit of giggles. The adults smiled as their children began to dance again and looked at the photo that would soon have it’s very own spot on the McClain mantle. 

\--------------------------------------------

They had just graduated from the second grade, and the four kids were hanging out on Keith’s back porch, eating cupcakes. Lance was wearing one of the little graduation hats that they had been given,  _ LANCE _ written sloppily in a silver sharpie, Hunk’s attention was centered on the cupcake, as he shoved it into his mouth, and Katie and Keith were talking about the likeliness of aliens, a topic that was growing in frequency at an alarming rate.

“I think that there are martians, and they look like that guy from Loony Tunes!” Keith said and Katie shook her head.

“No way, that’s a cartoon, it isn’t real. Aliens look like us, but they live super far away, not just one planet over.”

“Guys!” Lance interrupted, his mouth full with a cupcake. “Haven’t you watched Magic School Bus? Aliens aren’t real.”

“Shut up, Lance!” Katie and Keith said in unison, the first time of many that they would do that. Lance frowned and stood up from his chair, walking into the kitchen.

“Hi, Mrs. Shirogane,” He said to Keith’s mom who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine. 

Maureen Shirogane was one of the best ladies Lance knew. She was a nurse at the local children’s hospital and often brought the boys back lollipops when she got the chance. Her long auburn hair was tied into a messy bun, and it was starting to gray a bit. She had never been the type to care much about looks, and that was one of Lance’s favorite things about her. She didn’t care about whether her makeup was perfect, or her hair was styled, she lived her life focused on the situations ahead of her. Whatever she did to her hair was only if she needed it out of her face so that she could see, and she still managed to look pretty. She only wore the clothes that worked best for what she was doing at that time, she didn't wear them based in how she looked in them or whether they were stylish. She kept her focus on the things that really needed it. She was also incredibly nice and always stuck up for the underdog, something that Keith most definitely learned from her. It was a trait that made Keith his best friend, and that made Lance love Mrs. Shirogane so much.

“Hi, Lance. What do you need?” She smiled at him, and he beamed. He was her favorite of Keith’s friends, and he knew it.

“Could I have a juice pouch?”

“Sure,” she walked over to the fridge, “Fruit punch or grape?”

“Fruit punch, please. Grape is yuck, yuck, yuck!” He said as he took the juice pouch and walked outside. “Thank you!”

When he got outside, they weren’t at the table anymore and they were sprinting around the backyard. Keith ran up to him and slapped his arm. “You’re it!” He raced away and soon enough they were running all around the neighborhood. Lance smiled into the wind he created, moving as fast as he possibly could in order to catch up to Keith. 

They were long gone by the time that Keith’s mother realized Lance had dropped his graduation hat in the kitchen. She smiled and set it on the counter, to give it back to him later.

Eventually, the kids circled back to the house and people’s parents picked them up. Lance went over to his house to eat dinner, before coming back to have a sleepover. Dinners at Lance’s house were important, with everyone in his family’s busy schedules they hardly had time to see each other or talk. Family dinners every night were not something easily skipped, otherwise he would never know anything about his siblings. 

When Keith’s dad got home, he saw what he assumed to be Keith’s graduation hat lying on the counter. He grabbed it and put it in Keith’s closet, where it would stay until many years later.

 


	2. Let me photograph you in this light

By the time they were in fourth grade, Lance McLain and Keith Kogane were inseparable. They sat next to each other in class, whether the teacher condoned it or not. On the playground, the four friends were always off in the corner, playing a game they invented, Voltron.

On one particularly sunny April day, the four of them were huddled underneath a slide, planning the game for the day. Lance wore his usual carefree grin, whispering childish comments to Keith every time Katie talked.

“Lance! Be quiet or you don’t get to play!” Katie snapped.

“I invented the game! You don’t get to kick me out of MY game!” Lance responded, sticking out his tongue.

“Watch me!” Katie snapped back. Hunk stepped in between the two.

“How about we just don’t play today? I have to go in early to rent a book from the library anyways. I’ll just head up right now.” Hunk asked.

“I’ll go with you! A new book on area 51 came in and I wanna read it!” Katie grinned.

“I guess Lance and I will stay out here.” Keith said, offering a small smile to the other boy. The biggest and the smallest of the group headed inside while Lance bumped Keith’s shoulder.

“I gotta show you something!” The blue eyed boy blurted and took off down the playground, Keith chasing behind. Lance skidded to a stop in front of a little bed of flowers. He pointed to the biggest flower, a purple peony. “Tomorrow, bring one thing of yours. Something special. I’ll bring one too and we can bury it! Then in like ten years we can dig it up! It’ll be like that thing… you know…” Lance stuttered, forgetting the word.

“A time capsule?” Keith offered, his face blank.

“Yeah!” Lance froze when there was a lack of response from the darker haired boy. “Nevermind. It’s a stupid idea. Let’s go play soccer.” Lance mumbled, scowling at his feet. He started to turn away and leave, but a small hand wrapped itself around his skinny bicep.

“I think it’s a great idea. I already know what I’m going to bring!” Keith smiled, his face shy. Lance’s face broke open in a smile.

“Awesome sauce!”

“Hey! Buttface!” A deeper voice snapped behind the two boys. Lance spun around, instinctively moving in front of Keith to block him.

“What do you want, Nathan.” Lance snapped, feeling Keith tense behind him.

“What, no fat friend to protect you?” Lance’s face grew stony when Nathan mentions Hunk.

“Don’t talk about Hunk, like that!” Lance snarled.

“What are you gonna do about it, dweeb.” Before Lance could move, Keith stepped around Lance and slammed his fist into Nathan’s stomach in one fluid motion. Nathan doubled over, tears already streaming.

  
“Don’t talk about my friends like that.” Keith snapped. Lance bit back a laugh as his best friend turned to him, shaking his fist with a look of pain. Lance looped an arm around his neck and pulled him into a half hug.

“My hero! Now let’s get you something. That looks like it hurts.” He gestured to Keith’s hand.

“It does.” The other boy responded with a whine. He looks around. “Did any teachers see?” He asked, panic building in his voice.

“Nah. If they did, they would have yelled about it already.” Lance assured, and Keith let out a sigh.

“I need ice…” Keith admitted, his voice small.

\---------------------------------------------

“Let me get this straight. You punched a tree?”

“Yeah, Mom.” Keith said, staring at his feet.

“Why on Earth would you do that?!” Maureen Kogane stared at him.

“Uh…”

“He did because I said he couldn’t.” Lance interrupted. Keith slipped him a grateful smile.  

“I’ll never understand you two. Keep the ice on it, sweetie. You’re lucky it’s not broken.” Keith beamed at his mom. “Now, I need to get back to my shift at the hospital. Are you okay going to Lance’s house until your father gets home?” Her son nods with a grin and she ruffles his hair.

“Goodbye!” She called out. “Don’t forget to lock the door when you go!” Keith nodded and grabbed a glass for water. As soon as his mom left the parking lot, Lance wrapped his arms around the other boy.

“Seriously, Keith. Thanks for protecting me, I knew I could count on you.” Keith smiles at the warmth of the other boy before pushing him away.

“Yeah, whatever. I didn’t like what he was saying.” The darker haired boy shrugged. “Come on, let’s go to your house.”

\---------------------------------------------

Later that night after his dad got home, Keith was laying on his floor, reading a book. The window was wide open, he’d accidently torn the screen a few days ago. His red curtains drifted gently with the night breeze. As he went to flip the page, something white and pointed hit the floor. He picked it up and turned it over.

It was a paper airplane with words scribbled on the flat side.

_KEITH! LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW_

Curious, Keith crept over to the window. He looked down at the ground and to the left, but didn’t see anyone. Something sharp hit him straight on his head.

“Owww.” He mumbled, rubbing his head and staring across. In one of the McClain’s windows stood Lance, his teeth bared in a grin.

“You could’ve given me a papercut.” Keith grumbled.

“Stop complaining!” The taller boy’s complaints don’t seem to faze the smiling boy. “Isn’t this one of my best ideas? It’s like passing messages, but on _paper airplanes_!”

“I mean, it’s okay.” Keith agreed, shrugging.

“Please, it’s amazing, just like me!” Lance smirked and the other groaned.

“Give me a second.” Keith said, turning back into his room and running to his desk. He hastily folded a paper airplane. Grabbing a pencil, he messily scribbled a cartoon of Lance. He ran back to the window and tossed it across, sailing into Lance’s room. The other boy grinned before disappearing into his room.

Keith smiled softly as he watched Lance’s figure rush around his room. After a few minutes, another airplane sailed into Keith’s room. It continued like this for a while, up until it was time for bed.

As Keith lay in bed, his hair fanning out around his head, his mind wouldn’t stop racing. He spent a half an hour trying to figure his brain out, emotions and thoughts mixing and confusing him. When he finally drifted off to sleep, he had decided one thing, he’d fight for Lance over and over again, as many times as it took to protect his best friend.

\---------------------------------------------

It was the last day of the fifth grade, and the teachers had taken all of the students to a theme park for the day. Katie had stayed back with Hunk, who had a huge fear of rollercoasters, so Lance and Keith were alone in the line for _Kingda Ka_ , the tallest rollercoaster in the world. Lance had originally suggested it as a joke, but when Keith agreed to it he couldn’t back down.

“You scared?” Keith looked over at him, fear and a challenge mixed in his eyes.

“Pfft, no… are you?” Lance asked, looking for a way out.

“No way,” Keith responded, turning his head away from Lance.

“Well good.. Because I’m not,” Lance repeated, while visibly trembling.

As they approached the front of the line, the boys were talking about practically anything to get their minds off of it.

“Noodles,” Lance said after a pause.

“Noodles? You have the choice to eat one thing for the rest of your life and you choose noodles?” Keith responded, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! There are so many different types of noodles, I would never get bored of it.”

“Hmmm. I guess….” Keith considered it and was just about to respond when they reached the front of the line, and the person ushered them to their seat.

An announcer started talking about safety precautions, the usual ‘keep your head, arms or legs inside of the car at all times’, then they began a countdown. _10…_ the boys were trembling as the workers checked their seatbelts. _9…_

“Are you scared?” Lance asked.

_8…_

“Are you?” Keith responded.

_7…._

“Are you?” Lance repeated.

_6…_

“Are you?”

_5…_

“I asked first!”

_4…_

“Just answer!”

_3…_

Both boys stared at each other, waiting for the other to crack.

_2…_

“I don’t want to do this!” Lance yelled at the same time Keith said, “I’m scared.” They looked at each other, surprised.

_1!_

“Oh no,” the boys said simultaneously as the car took off.

The boys screamed, clinging onto each other, tears pouring out of their eyes, pride forgotten.

“Keith!” Lance yelled.

“Yes?” Keith screamed back.

“If we don’t make it out of here alive, I want you to know. You’re my best friend!” Lance sobbed.

“You’re _my_ best friend!” Keith sobbed back.

When the ride ended, the boys sat there in shock, not getting out of the seat until the employees made them. When they stumbled through the gate, they wiped their eyes and turned to each other, “Never speak of that ever?” Lance suggested. Keith smiled and nodded, before racing Lance to where Katie and Hunk were waiting.

Later that night, Lance and Keith were laying on Keith’s basement floor in sleeping bags, while _Adventure Time_ played on the TV.

“Are you nervous for middle school?” Lance whispered.

“Yeah,” Keith whispered back, “you?”

“Yeah!” Lance scoffed, “what if-what if people don’t like me? They are all going to be so grown up and.. What if I’m not good enough for them?”

Keith turned towards him and frowned. “Lance don’t worry. People like you. Why wouldn’t they? You are funny and nice and just a people person in general! Trust me,” he said and then he turned away.

Lance sat for a few minutes, taking it in. “Thanks, Keith.” He whispered, but Keith was already asleep.

\---------------------------------------------

It was the middle of sixth grade, and the four kids were getting something at a local bakery, _Altean Eatery._

“Oh my god. Guys, this is the best eau claire I have ever eaten! It’s just the right amount of cream and the level of vanilla flavoring is perfect!” Hunk exclaimed, rolling his eyes back into his head. “I gotta know how they make it, they must use some kind of… I don’t know. Be right back.” He walked up to the counter to talk to the man running the register, Coran.

“Hunk talks about food the way Lance talks about girls,” Katie joked and Keith laughed lightly into his croissant.

At that moment, a girl, a few years older than them walked into the bakery. Lance smiled at Keith and Katie before getting up, “Speaking of, watch and learn.”

He strolled up to the girl with the confidence that only a sixth grade boy who hasn’t faced much rejection can have. They watched as he talked to the girl, standing tall. She smiled at him, wrinkled her nose as she said something, and then walked away. He walked back and sat down silently.

“Rejected!” Katie hollered and Lance shoved her lightly. Keith forced a smile and then stood up, heading to the bathroom.

He splashed his face in cold water and groaned.

“What is wrong with me?” He muttered and locked himself into a bathroom stall. He leaned against the wall and banged his head over and over against the cold stucco walls. Ever since a few weeks ago, anytime Lance would flirt with one of the countless girls he had become obsessed with, he had been getting this feeling in his chest. It made him angry, but he couldn’t understand why. And being alone with Lance started to get more and more awkward. His heart started pounding when they talked, and his head got cloudy. He couldn’t understand it, which made him even more angry. He walked out of the stall and splashed water on his face again before heading back to where his friends were waiting.

Later that night, Keith was sitting by his window doing his homework, when a paper airplane bumped against the edge of his window. He heard muffled cursing and looked up. Lance was sitting by his window across the driveway, folding another airplane.

As he folded, Keith took the opportunity to study his face. His smooth skin was sprinkled with freckles that were less noticeable now that he wasn’t out in the sun as much. The tan hue of his skin made his blue eyes pop, making it impossible not to look at them. In this moment his blue candy stained tongue was stuck out just a bit as he focused on folding the paper neatly. And then he looked up and the moment was over.

Keith caught the paper airplane as it flew through his window. He opened it up on his desk and raised an eyebrow up at Lance. _Watcha dooooin?_ Was scrawled on the paper. Keith ripped out a sheet from his notebook. _Studying for that stupid English test._ He threw it back and Lance nodded back.

 _Have you played the new Call of Duty that came out yet?_ Keith shook his head and Lance began to write the next one. _Wanna come over tomorrow to watch it?_ He gave Lance a thumbs up back and Lance smiled and started to write another one. At this point Keith put his English notebook away because he knew he wouldn’t get any more homework.

_So… see any girls you like at school?_

Keith stared at the blue writing trying to figure out how to respond. He ended up choosing to write _I don’t know_ thinking it was a safe enough and true enough answer. Lance raised an eyebrow at him and threw back the next one, this one had small doodles in the margin, probably from him waiting for Keith’s answer. _That’s bullshit. I heard Miranda likes you. What about her?_

Keith stared at this one for a little while too, unsure of what to do. _Yeah she’s alright. Maybe I’ll ask her out._ He wrote, hoping that it would silence Lance. When Lance threw his back it was followed by a grin. _Great! Then you can help me get her friend Wendy to go out with me._ Keith forced a smile back at him and nodded.

“Keith, time to go to bed!” Keith’s mom shouted up the staircase. Lance nodded and they closed their windows. Keith turned his lights off and some music on, staring at his ceiling. His stomach was churning.

\---------------------------------------------

The next day, Keith had tried so hard to get his mom to let him stay home, but she would not budge, being a doctor and all, so he met Lance in the front of his house on their bikes.

“Ready to ask Miranda out today?” Lance asked as they biked to school.

Keith cringed, “You know, I don’t know if I-”

“Ha! I knew you would be too chicken to do it,” Lance smirked, and Keith frowned at him. He tried to shake off the challenge, but that was something Keith had never been able to do.

“I’m not too chicken, I just..” He trailed off, not knowing what to do.

“You’re just what? Just scared?” Keith looked over at Lance, who was smiling playfully, but he couldn’t help but let it make him mad.

“No! I’m not- I- ugh fine! Whatever, I’ll do it,” Keith fumed and sped up a bit as they neared the school.

Lance caught up, “I bet you won’t actually do it.” Keith turned and glared at him. As soon as they reached the bike rack, Keith practically threw his bike at it, barely locking it before moving away. Lance was calling out for him to slow down, but he could barely hear, rage driving him. Impulse was the only thing that made his decisions 99% of the time, and this time was no different.

He saw Miranda standing next to her friends. Just as he was about to call out to her, he had a single rational thought that he probably shouldn’t be glaring as he asked her out. He relaxed a bit and called out to her smiling.

“Miranda!” He said and she turned as he jogged up to her. Her cheeks tinted pink, and with that Keith knew Lance was telling the truth.

“Yeah, Keith?” She said, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. They had a few classes together, so they had talked a few times before, but they weren’t really friends in any way.

“I was wondering if you were free after school tomorrow and you wanted to go get something to eat,” He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes.

Her face got beet red and she beamed at him, “Yeah! That would be great. Where were you thinking?”

“Maybe we could pick up something at _Altean Eatery_ and then walk around for a bit? Actually, Lance and I had plans that day, but maybe one of your friends could come too and it would be a double date. Maybe Wendy? ” Keith was starting to cool down, but his head was still a bit clouded.

“Sounds good!” She smiled and turned back to her friends, “See you in math.”

“See ya,” Keith said turning back to his own friends, Lance’s jaw was dropped, his bike helmet hanging from his hand. Katie and Hunk were next to him, hunk high-fived him and Katie raised an eyebrow at him. He raised an eyebrow back at her and she mouthed _later._

When he finally looked at Lance, he was standing there in shock, and Keith smirked at him, before turning to walk into school.

\---------------------------------------------

As they walked into English, a class that Katie and Keith had alone together, Katie frowned at him. He pulled out his sketchbook, opening it to his most recent drawing. It was of his house, and lances, with paper airplanes circling around all of the open air. He could feel her looking at him so he slammed down his pencil and looked up.

“Okay, what?” Keith said, even though he knew exactly what she was going to say. A few days ago he had spilled all of what was bothering him to her, knowing that she would understand. She seemed to get a good grasp of what was going on, but said that he had to figure it out on his own.

“Do you like Miranda?” She asked straightforward, in her usual manner.

“Well, no but I can learn to…,” He trailed off, not knowing where he was headed with this sentence.

“Keith. You can learn to? Learn to what? Like her? Have you ever actually liked a girl?” Katie said in a hushed voice. They sat huddled in the back of the room while the teacher droned on about Shakespeare and what not.

“Katie, I… I mean I’m in sixth grade of course I haven’t…” He trailed off again, staring into his lap as guilt set it. Miranda really didn’t deserve this. “But even if I don’t want to, I can’t back down now. Lance said that I couldn’t do it.”

“‘Lance said.’ How many things have you done just because Lance said that you couldn’t?” She rolled her eyes at him.

Keith sat back and thought about it. When they were eight he had climbed a tree and fell off of it, breaking his arm, because Lance had said he couldn’t. When they were nine, he had almost passed out because Lance said he couldn’t hold his breath for two minutes straight. When they were ten he had been attacked by a squirrel because he had tried to tame it, although in hindsight that was obviously a terrible idea. But it wasn’t as if Lance had never done stupid things because Keith said he couldn’t. He had jumped off of his roof and broke his leg one year, and then chipped his tooth a week later by trying to vault himself over a puddle with his crutches. Then, after Keith couldn’t tame the squirrel Lance had tried, only to get the same result. So at least they were both equally stupid because of each other.

“I guess,” He conceded, sighing. “Whatever, I can’t get out of it now.”

“Well, maybe it will help you sort some things out,” she smiled at him then and he smiled back. Even though Lance and Keith were best friends, Keith and Katie had always been close, they had clicked ever since they first met.

“Yeah, maybe,”Keith said and turned his attention back to his sketchbook.

\---------------------------------------------

Lance shifted yet again against the brick wall of his middle school.

“Stop fidgeting!” Keith snapped, looking up from his phone.

“Sorry. Can’t help it.” The other boy mumbled.

“What, you nervous?” Keith taunted, grinning at the lack of response from the other boy. “Oh my god, you are nervous!” He started cracking up. “The great Lance McClain, nervous for a little date!” Keith doubled over, laughing again while Lance swatted him lightly.

“I’m not nervous! I just want it to go well.” He said quietly, his confident persona dropping. In a split second, it came back. “Which of course it will, I mean, its _me._ ”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Keith retorted, smirking at Lance’s scowl. As Lance checked his phone, Keith’s eyes lingered on the other boy’s face; his ocean blue eyes, the splatter of freckles, his crooked smile. It was all so familiar, like a picture he could draw without needing a reference photo. He quickly memorized the image of Lance leaning against the brick, his backpack on the ground and his stupid _I would flex, but I like this shirt_ top. His fingers were itching for a pencil, wanting to draw the scene in front of him so bad it almost hurt.

“Keith!” The dark haired boy started and looked up, shook out of his thoughts. Miranda was waving her hand in the air, towing Wendy along behind her. As the girls approached, Lance pocketed his phone and flashed a grin.

“Are you a fruit? Because _honeydewwww_ you look fine right now.” Lance smirked, flashing his hands in finger guns. Wendy blushed and giggled a bit while Keith inwardly groaned. Miranda moved to stand a little closer to Keith, who awkwardly shifted.

“So, um. Let’s go get food?” He suggested. Miranda nodded and the two of them started walking, Lance and Wendy in tow. They walked in an awkward silence for bit, listening to Lance and Wendy laughing behind them.

“So… What do you like to do outside of school?” Miranda asked.

“I do martial arts and draw stuff.” He mumbled.

“Oh, cool! You should draw me sometime!” Miranda smiled while Keith tried not to scream. That was his least favorite question anyone ever asked.

“Yeah, maybe sometime.” He muttered and they fall back into another awkward silence. Feeling bad, he tried to come up with another question. “Uh, how about you?”

“What?” She asked, as if surprised by Keith talking.

“What do you do in your freetime?” Keith asked.

“Oh! Well, I enjoy volleyball and dancing! I’m part of a dance troop, we travel…” She continued on talking, but Keith stopped listening. How come, when Lance blabbered, Keith was hanging on to every word but as soon as the girl he’s _on a date with_ starts to talk, Keith is almost falling asleep? As he pondered this, the quartet approached the bakery.

Keith opened the door and headed inside, followed by Miranda. Lance jumped in front of Wendy, holding the door open for her. She grinned and blushed while he smiled stupidly. A weird feeling swirled in Keith’s stomach at the sight.

“What are you going to get?” Miranda asked with a sweet smile. Keith jumped at her voice.

“Oh, um maybe a drink or something.” He responded with a shrug, watching closely as Wendy stepped up to the counter and ordered something. Lance stood close to her and paid for her food. Miranda replaced them at the cash register, ordering a croissant and turning around to look at Keith. “I’ll take an iced coffee.” He said and offered the barista money, paying for both his and Miranda’s drinks. As they waited for their food, Keith’s eyes were drawn back to his best friend, who was currently flashing his brilliant smile at Wendy.

After they got the food and drinks, the little quartet walked down to the lakeside park a few blocks away, Miranda hooking her arm around Keith's. Wendy and Miranda announced they needed the bathroom and walked off giggling, leaving Lance and Keith alone. Keith scuffed his foot against some gravel, trying not to look at the other boy.

“I think this is going great! Wendy’s awesome, she’s amazing!” Lance began blabbering. “This was such a good idea! Miranda seems to like o-”

“I need an out.” Keith cut him off. “I can’t do this.”

“What? What do you mean?” Lance asked, his face conveying his confusion.

“I need to go home. I, uh, need to figure some stuff out.” He rushed and began walking away.

“Keith! You can’t just ditch! What about Miranda?”

“She’ll figure it out. Tell her I’m sick or something.” He shrugged and rushed away.

\---------------------------------------------

Keith was chilling in his room that night, drawing Lance leaning against the brick wall of the coffee shop when he heard a knock at his door. He quickly shut the sketchbook and slid it into his desk drawer.  

“Yes?” he said, walking to the door.

“I was talking to Matt and Katie stole his phone and said she needed to talk to you…” Shiro said, holding the home phone out to Keith.

He tilted his head a bit, wondering why Katie was calling him.

“Hello?” He said, shutting the door on Shiro.

“How did it go? The date?”

“Um well I left in the middle of it so… not good?” He frowned and paced around his room, straightening the pictures on the walls and moving his books around.

There was a pause as she considered it. “Well. Nothing you can do about it now. So, did you figure some stuff out?” Her voice was soft then, and Keith smiled a little. He was so glad he had her in his life. He…. He couldn’t talk to Lance about this stuff.

“I…” He thought about what to say, and then tears began to pour out of his eyes. He wiped at his eyes frantically, startled by his own outburst. What would his parents think? What if they.. thought something was wrong with him? What if they hated him? What if Lance hated him?

“He won’t. And neither will your parents. They love you Keith. No matter what.” Katie responded, and it was then that he realized he was talking out loud.

“Right…” He sighed. “Katie… I think I’m.. gay?”

“Keith. I know. And I still support you no matter what.” He wanted to hug her, and at that moment she was his favorite person in the world.

“Thank you,” he sobbed, unable to keep it in. “That’s really what I needed to.. to hear. Don’t tell anyone though please.. I just.. I don’t-”

“I won’t. Anyone while we are on the phone, I found this new show called X-files…”

They talked for the rest of the night, trading conspiracy theories until it was time for bed.

\---------------------------------------------

The next day at school, Keith tried to keep his head down, his conversation with Katie running through his head on repeat. He joined up with Hunk and Lance, ignoring the wink from Katie.  He tried to focus on what Lance was saying, he really did, but how could he when the other boy that stupid grin plastered on his face. He quickly looked down before he was caught staring.

“Keith Kogane!” His head jerked up fast as he caught sight of who called his name. Miranda was marching towards him, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Keith’s steps faltered as the girl grew closer.

“Guess we’ll leave you two alone.” Lance smirked and shot finger guns at his taller best friend. Keith rolled his eyes and halted, waiting for Miranda to walk over to him. As soon as she was close enough to touch, she grabbed his arm and yanked him into a quiet side stairwell.

“You’re gay.” She announced, pointing an accusing finger at Keith, whose face went slack and panic built in his chest.

“Uh, what?” He asked, his voice breaking. No. No. This isn’t happening.

“You are, right?” She asked, glancing around.

“I don’t understand, what?” He asked again, relieved there’s no one here to overhear.

“I mean, what other reason would you have to not be into me? Yesterday, you _ditched_ me, but even when you were there, you spent the entire time staring at _Lance._ ” Her face lit up like she just had an amazing epiphany. “Oh my god that’s it!” She squealed loudly. Keith moved to cover her mouth, backing her up against the wall.

“Shhh! Can’t you just shut up?” He demanded, his voice low and steely.

“You like him, don’t you?” She grinned.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday I wasn’t feeling good and I needed to leave.”  
  
“I’m not going to force you to tell me, but if you want to, you know, talk to someone, I’m here.”

“Uh, thanks?” Keith said, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“But I mean, you are, right?” She grinned. “I think you and Lance would be cute! You could honour me at your wedding or something!”

“Fine, I am. But none of that other stuff is going to happen!” He snapped, stepping away from her.

“I knew it!” She smiled. “I was serious though, you know, about the offer to talk. I can help with the Lance situation!”

“Shut up!” He snapped. “You’re too loud!”

“Lovers quarrel?” A familiar voice called out behind him. Keith whirled around to see Lance standing there, smirking.

“Uh, no. Keith was just telling me that he thinks we should break u-” Keith cut her off with a small kiss, hearing Lance whistle in the background.  
  
“Okay, that’s enough for me. I’ll leave you two alone.” He grinned and walked off. Miranda shot him a questioning look, to which he only shrugged.

“I’d rather he didn’t know.” He muttered and rushed to class.


	3. Everybody loves the things you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is a bit of homophobia in this chapter and homophobic slurs. If you are uncomfortable with that, skip over the part between "What are you scared?" and "Shut up,' he said his voice low and steely."

By seventh grade, Miranda and Keith had ‘broken up’ and things were back to normal. Lance seemed to have dropped the whole thing about Keith getting ‘out there,’ and Keith was grateful. He had come to terms with his feelings for Lance in the middle of sixth grade, and he had pushed them aside to the point where he almost never thought about it. Learning to push aside his thoughts had affected him though, it made him a bit more impulsive than he had been before. That, on it’s own, was saying something because he had already been quite impulsive before that.

It was a Saturday, a week into second semester of seventh grade, Lance rushed over to Keith’s house and rapped loudly on the door.

“Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith! Keith!” He yelled over and over as he pounded on the door. “Keeeeeiiiiittttthhhhhhhhhhhhh Keith Keith Keith!” He began to sing and then the door opened suddenly.

Keith was standing on the other side of the door with a towel around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth. “Wha da fuck wath tho impotant, Jethuth Cwist!”

Lance paused for a second, taking in the image of the other boy  with an odd feeling building in his chest. He had never felt like that, but shook it off. This was more important.

“I just finally finished the new season of supernatural and holy shit-” Lance began until Keith put out a hand to stop him.

“One thecond,” he grunted and then sprinted away into their bathroom. He came back out a few seconds later, wearing a hoodie and some boxers that were obviously thrown on haphazardly.

“Ok. What did you think?” He said pulling Lance into the house and plopping onto the couch.

Lance threw himself onto the couch and groaned. “It was so sad. Ellen and Jo!” He said as Keith simultaneously guessed, “Ellen and Jo?”

“Yeah! I cried so hard, Oh My God!” Lance begun, draping himself across the couch in the trademark Lance way. They talked for hours, pacing around his small living room.

It was three hours later in no time, the tall grandfather clock positioned in the corner chiming six times.

“Want to stay for dinner?” Keith said, walking into the kitchen and pulling a pizza out of their freezer. “My parents have bowling night tonight, so they won’t be home and Shiro is sleeping over at Matt’s house. So we’ll be home alone.”

“Yeah, sure.” Lance said. They had been home alone together many times before, but Lance’s chest got all tight when he said it this time. It had been happening all day, when Keith’s hand would brush against his, or when Keith laughed at his jokes. Lance couldn’t stop staring at him, and it was freaking him out.

Keith put the pizza in the oven and set the timer. As he bent over, his shirt slipped down a little, revealing his torso and Lance’s eyes were stuck to the sliver of flesh exposed. His stomach turned and his eyebrows furrowed a bit. What was going on?

“Lance? Did you listen to anything I just said?” Keith had an eyebrow raised, an amused expression on his face.

“What? Oh, sorry I was just… uh what did you say?” Lance said, trying to slow his heartbeat a bit.

“Wanna play Mario kart?” Keith repeated and Lance nodded.

A few hours later, Keith's parents found them in the basement, plates and the floor covered in crumbs, and the two boys passed out on the couches. Kung Fu Panda was playing on the tv, the remote still in Keith's hand. They smiled at the boys, covered them in blankets, turned off the tv and walked upstairs arm in arm.

\---------------------------------------------

“Go!” Katie screamed and Lance and Keith took off down the road, pedaling as hard as they could, neither one overtaking the other just yet.

“I’m going to beat you so bad, you’re confidence will be so low, you’ll never be able to get a girl again!” Lance yelled to Keith as he pedaled furiously.

Keith smiled to himself, he would never get a girl again anyways. He continued the banter anyways, “Oh really? We’ll see, and when I beat _you_ , then you will be so humiliated… that you’ll never be able to look your family in the eye again.”

Lance turned to him in that moment, as they rounded the street corner and said, “that’s what the girls say when I’m through with- Oh fuck!” And just as they were about to finish the race around the block, Lance swerved straight into a tree, landing on the ground, a tire spinning as he groaned.

Keith leapt off of his bike and ran to where he was lying. “Lance! Lance, are you okay?” He said, lifting his head off the ground and positioning it in his lap.

Lance blinked slowly and looked up at him. “...head.” He muttered, and Keith lifted up his head to see that his own pants were drenched in blood. Blood was gushing out of the back of Lance’s head, and as the shorter boy tried to stand up, he quickly fell back down again, Keith barely catching him.

“Shit,” Keith muttered and ripped off his shirt, tying it tightly around Lance’s head. Lance raised his eyebrows as Keith did that, but didn’t pay too much attention to it since he could barely stand. Keith put an arm around Lance and they stumbled to Keith’s house, where Katie and Hunk were waiting. The other two kids rushed towards them just as they passed the point that they had deemed the finish line.

As they passed, Lance turned to Keith, smiling a dopey grin, slurring, “We are a good team.”

Keith smiled and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever. That’s just the concussion that you probably have talking.” Lance just smiled back at him.

                        ~~~~~

When they got to the ER, it was confirmed that Lance did indeed have a concussion. Also, while the wound was not very big, Lance would need to get three stitches. When he was done, he walked out into the waiting room to see Hunk with his arms around Katie and Keith, as they all laid there fast asleep.

Lance grinned at them for a few moments, taking in the sight of his best friends, and then walked over to wake them up. The group hugged Lance as though he had come back from a life-or-death surgery, and then piled into Lance’s mom’s car, falling asleep again on the way home.

\---------------------------------------------

Lance’s friends were used to his dirty jokes, his pick-up lines, his flirty insinuations. It was a part of who Lance was. When he saw a pretty girl, he said things like that and everyone was either used to it, had given up on being mad, or both.

Lance was at the _Altean Eatery,_ with his friends. The final weeks of seventh grade were approaching, and they were all hyped up on the anticipation of summer.

Keith was off getting a refill on his lemonade, the other three were sitting at a table outside. Hunk and Lance were telling Katie a story, and laughing so hard that she could barely understand them.

“So then Lance was like…” Hunk started, exploding into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah I was like,” Lance chuckled a bit before continuing, “Next time, don’t leave a banana in your backpack!”

They both fell into each other, guffawing, as Katie rolled her eyes fondly at the two.

As they were laughing, a boy about their age walked past the table. He was a few inches taller than Lance, and was wearing combat boots which added to his height by a couple inches. He had a dark complexion, dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. As Lance checked him out, he blurted without thinking, “Break me off a piece of _that_.”

The boy turned to him, raised an eyebrow, and winked before walking away.

When Lance looked back at his friends, they all had their eyebrows raised at him. The trio sat in awkward silence before Lance started laughing.

“Come on, guys! It was a joke, chill! I didn’t actually mean it.” He scoffed at them and then looked away. Keith had just left the counter and began walking back towards them.

Hunk and Katie exchanged a look before simultaneously muttering things like, “Yeah, sure, whatever you say dude..”

                        ~~~~~

When Lance got home that night he couldn’t sleep. He lied in bed, staring at the ceiling, the moment replaying in his head, over and over.

_Break me off a piece of that._

He hit himself in the face a couple of times with his hand. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he muttered. That wasn’t even a good joke, even though, in the moment he thought his friends would find it funny… He found it funny. Like he would be into guys.. He wasn’t… He was straight. He had never.. Well, almost never, doubted it in his life. No. He was straight. It was just a little brain fart, his flirty attitude seeping into his normal interactions.

Even though that guy.. No, it was nothing. He fell into fitful sleep after a bit, his words echoing in his head. And the looks his friends gave him… but no. It didn’t matter because he wasn’t… No.

\---------------------------------------------

Eighth grade year was already stressful and it hadn’t even started. The night before the first day, Keith was over at Lance’s house laying on the bed, bored to death as the other boy tried on every outfit in his closet.

“It doesn’t even matter what you wear, no one cares.” Keith groaned, tapping angrily on his phone as he lost another level of Flappy Bird.

“Well, maybe they don’t care about _you,_ but this is my last year in middle school! We’re the kings of school!” Lance grinned and pulled off his current shirt. Keith tried to burn holes into his phone as he stared at it, his cheeks lighting up.

“Whatever.” Keith snapped. “I’m just gonna find something to wear in the morning.”

“Of course _you_ are. See, I actually want to look good tomorrow.” He teased, his face suddenly lighting up. “I have it!” He shouted as he dove back into his closet. After a few moments of rummaging around, he stepped wearing a white top with a blue collar, a blue plaid shirt over the top and jeans. “How about this?” Keith straightened up and looked at Lance.

“It looks great, Lance.” Keith smiled, his voice low and gentle. The other boy looked at him, his gaze soft and open. Keith coughed loudly, ruining the moment. “Let’s, uh, go play xbox.”

“Yea, definitely.” The shorter boy nodded in agreement and followed Keith out of his room.

Later that night, Keith sat at his desk, sketching two figures wrapped in an embrace. As soft music played in the background, the boy focused on the gentle scratch of the pencil against the paper. The two figures started taking shape into the form of two boys. He spent most of the time on the shorter one, softly sketching in hair and a facial expression of serenity.

As the song changed in the background, Keith shook from his daze. The drawing was of Lance. He’d drawn Lance. That wasn’t uncommon, he had sketchbooks full of the other boy, he was easy and familiar to draw. But this sketch, it was different. Lance had his arms wrapped around the other’s waist and a smile on his face. Keith had made the other himself. His cheeks flared with embarrassment.

A knock on the door startled him from his humiliation, turning it into panic as he shoved his sketchbook into his desk drawer while simultaneously yelling, “One second!”

He flopped into bed, waiting for his heartbeat to slow before telling them to come in.

Shiro walked in the door, smiling with a present in his arms. “Hey kiddo,” he said, smiling and ruffling Keith’s hair with his spare arm. “I picked this up for you in June, but I had forgotten to give it to you. So here,” he said, handing Keith the present, “to remember me while I am away.”

Shiro was in his third year of college, and since he was so far away, Keith didn’t get to talk to him much. The only communication they had was by text and snapchat, which Keith didn’t use much in the first place. This didn’t mean they had become any less close, it just meant that the time they did get to spend together, meant more.

Shiro nodded his head at Keith to open it up, so he began ripping off the wrapping paper. Inside was a brown and tan scarf that had _CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY_ , the college that Shiro was currently attending, printed across it with a small pin placed on top. The pin read _Future Pilot_ and had a pair of wings. Keith smiled up at his brother. He had wanted to be a pilot since he was six years old, when he had first watched _Star Wars._ It was a bit cliché, something every little boy wanted to be, but it was something that Keith had never let go of.

He pulled Shiro into a hug, thanking him for the present. He stood up, but Shiro held his hand up, signalling that he had more to say.

“Also, I wanted to tell you that I have a girlfriend now, and we have been dating for a few months.” Shiro blushed a bit. “Her name is Lily and I was thinking of bringing her home to meet you guys. Is that cool with you?” He pulled out his phone and showed Keith his lockscreen which was a picture of her.

She had curly, auburn hair that was tied back into a bun and square glasses. She was grinning in this picture, and the lighting made her freckles stand out.

Keith smiled at Shiro again, “She is really pretty, and if you like her, then I would love to meet her.”

Shiro grinned at Keith, ruffling his hair again before standing to leave. “Thanks, Keith. Alright, get some sleep. How about I drive you and Lance to school tomorrow on my way out?”

Keith nodded as he led his brother to the door. “Ok sounds good. Also, speaking of the word out…” He let his brother get into the hallway before rushing through the next phrase, “I’m gay. Thought you should know, okay, good night!” He slammed the door in Shiro’s face, shut off the lights, and threw himself into bed. He could see Shiro’s shadow as he stood outside his door for a few moments.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you in the morning. Love you,” Shiro mumbled before walking away.

Keith smiled at the ceiling as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

\---------------------------------------------

Lance was wrong, as usual. They were in fact, _not_ “Kings of the school,” if anything, the bullies got worse. On the fourth day, Keith was walking through the halls, looking for Katie, when he heard a familiar voice.

“Just leave me alone.”

“What, are you scared?” Another voice taunts. Keith spinned on his heel, sprinting towards the voice. “No friends to protect you? Where’s that fatass? What about the puny hermaphrodite? Or what about that fag-” Before the other boy could say anymore, Keith had launched himself across the hallway, slipping out a leg and flipping the other guy.

“SHIT!” The bully let out as his head hit the ground with a crack. Lance looked up at Keith, a small smile on his face. It made Keith’s stomach flip. Behind him, the other boy got to his feet and Keith slowly turned around.

“Fuck off, Ben.” He glared, the other boy scoffed at that and wiped his knees off.

“What, you think you can take me?” Ben smirked. “Please, you’re nothing but a fucking que-” Keith interrupted him by punching his jaw.

“Shut up.” He said, his voice low and steely.

“Lucky shot! Let’s go, eh?” Ben snarled, balling his fists. “Right here!” Keith lowered his body into a stance that only four years of mixed martial arts could teach.

“Guys! Stop it! There’s a teacher coming!” Lance protested, stepping in between them.

“Get out of the way, Lance.” Keith demanded, bouncing on his feet in anticipation.

“You’ll get suspended! You could even get expelled!” His pleads droned out as Keith danced around him, winded up, and shoved his fist into the other boy’s stomach. Ben let out a pained gasp before wildly flailing his fist in the air. It connected with Keith’s cheek, and the boy winced, knowing there was going to be a bruise tomorrow. The two grappled for a bit before Keith threw the other boy off him and rounded on him, eyes set in an impassive expression.

“Never say anything against my friends again, you piece of shit.” Keith snapped and pounced on the other boy. To Ben’s credit, he managed to hold Keith at bay for about two minutes, before the latter began furiously throwing punches.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” A shrill voice sounded from the middle of the hallway. Lance grabbed Keith’s t-shirt and pulled him off the beaten boy.

“Nothing, Ma'am!” Lance replied, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“It hardly looks like nothing!” The teacher responded, a hand on her hip and overplucked eyebrows furrowed.

“Ben said mean stuff about our friends. Keith was just defending himself.” The loud boy tried to explain.

“That’s BS! Keith attacked me, out of nowhere!” Ben protested.

“Language!” The teacher scolded. “Lance, go to class. You two, come with me.”

In the end, Keith ended up with a three day suspension and a nasty purple bruise blooming on his cheek. It wasn’t terrible. His parents believed him on his take of the fight so they didn’t ground him, but since they didn’t like the violence, they took his phone for the next two days. The first day wasn’t that bad, Keith spent it watching Netflix and sketching. The second day was long and lonely without a way to contact his friends or seeing them. After school, Hunk and Pidge stopped by, dropping off homework and sharing stories of what he missed. After they left, there was a quiet knock on the door. Keith opened it to find Lance standing there, which was strange because the boy never did anything quietly.

“Hey, Lance.” Keith said, smiling.

“Hey.” The other boy stared at him strangely for a few moments. “I, uh, missed you,” He said, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, me too. It’s pretty quiet without you around.” Keith teased, the other boy letting out a lopsided smile.

“I brought you some video games.” The shorter boy grinned.

“Cool! Want to play them with me?” Keith asked.

“Duh.” Was all the other boy responded before walking and and putting in the disk. He flopped onto the couch, control in hand and grinned at Keith. “You’re going dowwwwn.”

“In your dreams.” The raven haired boy snorted back. This felt good. It felt whole again. And for the rest of the night, Keith couldn’t stop smiling.

                        ~~~~~

That night when Lance got home, there was something itching in the back of his head. He hadn’t known some of the terms that Ben had called his friends, specifically the one that he had called Keith.

They were all sitting at the dinner table, eating lasagna and he sat in silence, listening to his siblings.

“So, mom there is a dance this weekend, and I was wondering if I could go with Jeffrey Carlson?” Ana asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

“What is this Jeffrey- Julio, quit leaning back on your chair or you will break it- um what is Jeffrey like?” Lance’s mom, Maria, responded.

“He is really sweet, he plays on the basketball team and I really really like him so.. Please?” She stuck her bottom lip out, begging.

Maria smiled at her daughter and nodded, earning a cheer from Ana and a groan from Julio.

“How come Ana can go and I can’t!” Julio protested, leaning back in his chair again.

“Julio Leonardo McClain, stop leaning in that chair or so help me- and Ana gets to go because she didn’t stay out _three hours_ past her curfew.” Maria scolded, earning a humph from Julio.

The table was quiet for a moment, so Lance took the opportunity to ask.

“Uh mamá? What… What’s a fag?” Lance looked at them, his eyebrows turned up. Lance’s dad made a choking noise, water spilling onto the table from his cup, Lance’s mother dropped her fork, and Julio fell off of where he was leaning on his chair, slamming hard onto the ground.

“Qué, mijo? Who said that to you?” Maria, asked, the entire table turned towards Lance.

“Well, these guys at school said it about Keith and…” he trailed off, watching his parents exchange glances.

“Mijo, it is a bad, bad word that people use about someone who.. Someone who is gay,” Lance’s father explained.

“But, Lance, it isn’t like a cool bad word,” Julio explained, getting off the ground and earning a strange look from his parents. “It’s one that is something you should never _ever_ say to anyone.”

Lance nodded along and stared at his plate, confused. Why did they use it when they were talking about Keith?

\---------------------------------------------

Lance was over at Keith’s house, sprawled across the couch. Keith was chewing on a pizza slice and laying on the floor, his phone in hand.

“You know, I think Lauren likes you.” Lance said, rolling over to face the other boy. Keith choked on a bit of his pizza. “What, you don’t like her?”

“Um, she’s not really my type.” Keith responded, trying to keep all of his snarky thoughts at bay.

“What about Sophia? She’s pretty.” Lance asked, glancing at Keith.

“Uh, too girly.” Keith said, trying not to laugh at the fact that it was true.

“Allison?”

“Too quiet.”

“Madison?”

“Too mean.”

“Tasha?”

  
“Too weird.”

“Greta?”

“Too nice.”

“Rachel?”

  
“Too rude.”

“Kelly?”

“Ugh, just give it up!” Keith snapped, ignoring Lance’s exasperated sigh.

“Just tell me who you’d be interested in!” He groans loudly. “There’s a lot of great girls at our school! You should see the ways some of them look at you. I mean, if you’re not interested-”

“I’m not.” Keith snapped.

  
“Then maybe you should tell them!” Lance continued like Keith hadn’t said anything. “You’re literally like the number one heartbreaker in the school, all grumpy and moody with all the girls chasing after you.”

  
“I’m not interested.” Keith muttered.

“You know, if you asked Miranda, she’d probably get back together with-”

“Oh my god, Lance! I’m gay!” Keith blurted out, and Lance fell quiet, his face slack. A few moments passed of silence, causing Keith to feel nervous shivers run up his spine.

“How long?” Lance asked, his voice quiet.

  
“Uh, what?” Keith said, his voice confused.

“How long have you known?” Lance asked again.

“Um, since sixth grade, I guess?” Keith could feel his heart clenching.

“How could you not- you know what? Nevermind. I need to go.” Lance abruptly stood up, shoving all his things into his bag. “Tell your parents I didn’t feel good.” Keith stood there, helplessly, as Lance left quickly.

After the other boy had left the room, Keith stood there, in the middle of the room, feeling lost and distraught. What the hell just happened?

He shoved the sleepover stuff he had set up to the corner closet, before running upstairs. At his mom’s questioning look, he swallowed thickly.

“Lance wasn’t feeling good. He went home.” Keith’s voice felt small and shaky.

“Oh, okay, honey! We’re watching a movie, if you’d like to join us! Shiro went to Matt’s house.” His mother said, a kind smile on her face. “I’ll make some soup that you can bring to Lance! It might help him get better!”

“Um, yeah. Maybe later or something.” Keith responded, distracted. He nodded and raced up the stairs.

Running into his room, he shoved the door closed behind him, his chest heaving. Thoughts were racing through his head at a mile a minute, and his brain couldn’t keep up long enough to follow a single idea. He pressed his back against the door and slid to the floor, tears beginning to spill over. He rubbed the back of his hand roughly across his face before breathing in an unstable breath. His chest felt like it was being crushed, his lungs feeling like they were being squeezed, and his head spun with what had just happened.

“You idiot.” He whispered in a low voice. “You fucking idiot!” His voice broke off in a sob. Lance was his best friend. Had Keith seriously just ruined the friendship? He’d thought it was stronger than the fact that Keith would rather kiss Dean than Ruby.  
  
Stumbling to his feet, he fell onto his bed, balling his fists in the covers. He let out a pitiful groan, blinking hard. His stomach was flipping as he sniffled into the blankets. Lance. The name held so many memories, so many feelings. Now… now he just felt unyielding sadness. He choked on a sob and let the tears rain down his face. He felt pathetic. Worthless. If that’s what Lance thought, maybe his was right… Another round of crying racks his body.

An hour later, he shakily stands on his feet, staggering to his desk. He grabs his sketchbook and flips to a blank page. Taking a deep breath, he slides the pencil across the paper, his nerves already calming. His hand moves to its own accord. The picture starts to take shape, loosely resembling Lance. Keith’s stomach burns and he angrily scratches the pencil against the page, scribbling it out.

Keith breathed in again, starting over. He purposely focused on the drawing, doing everything he could to steer the drawing away from Lance. Instead, he began to draw Miranda. Adding her high cheekbones, long ebony hair and button nose. As soon as he added the eyes, he let out a hiss of frustration. No matter what he did, it always came back to Lance. The eyes that looked out at him from the sketchbook were so undeniably Lance, it hurt.

“FUCK!” Keith shouted, keeping his voice just quiet enough so his parents wouldn’t hear. His cheeks were still covered in tears and his eyes stung. He slipped into the bathroom and checked his reflection.

His black hair was sticking up in all different directions and his eyes were red and puffy. His entire face was flushed and his nose was running. Turning the faucet on, he grabbed a rag and began gently washing his face. It felt better after he’d washed the tears away. The dark haired boy stuck his head out the door to check for parents before running back to his room.

He sprawled out across his bed and grabbed his family’s laptop. With a quick check on his phone, he realized there was nothing new from Lance, and the little bit of hope he had building in his stomach, died. Not knowing what to do, he opened photos on the computer and hit shuffle on his albums. The first photo that popped up, was a photo of him and Lance, a few months ago at the coffee shop. Their arms were wrapped around each other and smiles almost splitting their faces. Katie is making kissing faces in the background, while Hunk took the photo. There’s a slight blush spread across Keith’s face, whereas Lance is completely oblivious while smiling like an idiot. It hurt Keith. His chest was overwhelmed with a searing pain. He’d done this. He’d ruined their friendship. He was such a fuck up. His head swam with thoughts while his body felt drained from all the stress and crying. His eyelids slowly drooped and he fell into a fitful sleep.

After his parents movie ended, they made their way upstairs, stopping by their youngest son’s room. At the sight of the small boy curled on his bed, his father sighed. Maureen walked into the room, slipping the computer out from under his head and handing it to his father.

“Friendship troubles?” Ted Shirogane asked quietly, motioning to the still-playing slideshow of Lance and Keith.

“Shhh.” Maureen reprimanded as he set the computer down on his son’s desk. She pulled the blanket from underneath him and slipped it over the sleeping boy, gently tucking his head onto his pillow. “Goodnight, honey.” She says with a soft ruffle of his hair. After the two leave the room, the sleeping boy lets out a soft sigh, a small smile on his face.

\---------------------------------------------

The next night, Keith couldn’t take it anymore. Lance was supposed to be his best friend… He decided that he had too much self-respect to stay friends with Lance after that reaction. He glanced out of his window at the rain pouring down, frantically wondering where his jacket was. _Ah, fuck it,_ he thought as he stormed over and pounded on the McClain’s door.

Lance’s older sister Ana opened the door. She smiled brightly at him, “Hey Keith, what’s up?”

Keith stared up at her for a few moments. Ana was nice, she had always helped them with their homework when they needed it. Her bright green eyes stood out from her tan skin, which was dotted in freckles, just like Lance. She had short brown hair that fell to her shoulders, but was put up in a bun at the moment, a pencil tucked behind her ear. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to cut Lance’s family out of his life after he cut out Lance.

“Can I talk to Lance please?” Keith said, trying, and failing, to take the anger out of his voice.

Ana raised an eyebrow at him and glanced back into their house. “I, uh, think he isn’t feeling well…”

Keith scowled, “I won’t be long. I just need a second.”

She still looked skeptical, but she called his name, and Keith’s former-best-friend came running down the stairs. “I’ll give you two some privacy…” Ana mumbled, slipping out of the room.

Lance crossed his arms and frowned at him, “Yeah? Did you come to say you’re sorry?”

Keith practically growled, more anger filling him than he had ever felt in his life. “What the fuck? Why in the hell would I be sorry?! I told your sister I wouldn’t be long, so I will just say it quickly. I don’t want or need a best friend in my life who is going to be angry at me for being who I am, and I won’t change for you. So.. friendship… friendship over!” Keith said, furious tears streaming down his face. He turned around and rushed out back into the rain, already soaked from head to toe.

“Wait, Keith!” Lance called out, but Keith didn’t stop. “Keith!” Lance repeated, and Keith stopped, his shoulders tensing up.

“What? What could you possibly say to make this better? Hmm, I’m gay okay? I am _fucking_ gay and I can’t be friends with you if you hate me for it! Also, how do you… I’m the same person, I still have the exact same fucking personality! Do you…” Keith’s voice cracked, but he continued. “Do you honestly hate me that much for liking boys instead of girls?”

Lance looked down, a mixture of emotions fighting for dominance on his face. “...no,” he said weakly, on the verge of tears.

Keith stared at him for a few moments, studying his face before he responded. His lip trembled, a cold feeling spreading throughout him, and he couldn’t tell whether it was from the rain or this situation. “I don’t believe you,” Keith almost whispered, his voice low but harsh. He turned around and continued to walk inside.

“Keith!” Lance cried out, the pain evident in his heartbroken voice. “Keith!” He repeated, but Keith continued walking. He was at the edge of Lance’s driveway, eight feet away from his house, when he felt a hand wrap around his arm.

Lance pulled Keith’s elbow, turning him around and then kissed him, pushing him up against his house. Keith stared at Lance, eyes wide, looking at Lance’s eyelids, shut tight, a determined look on his face. It lasted maybe five seconds tops, but it was perfect. It was everything Keith had wanted for the last two years, and all of the suppressed feelings he had pushed away, came rushing back at that moment.

When Lance pulled away, he kept his eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them and looking down at the pavement.

“I don’t hate you Keith. Why in the hell would I hate you for being gay? To.. to be honest I’m still figuring things out right now too…” Lance glanced up at him, a tired expression glistening as the rain and the moon illuminated his features. “I was mad because you never told me, and you’ve known for two years!” He looked back down kicking some water with his foot, “I thought we were supposed to be best friends...”

Keith stood there, stunned for a few seconds, only being snapped out of his stupor when Lance looked up at him expectedly. “Oh. Oh… Well I’m sorry, I was afraid, well, I was afraid of exactly what I thought just happened.. I just.. It’s really hard to tell people. I mean you’ve seen how the people at school treat me and those are only from rumors. I.. I’m sorry.”

Lance looked up at him and gave him a little side smile. “Me too.”

The two boys hugged for a couple seconds before each pulling away, complaining loudly about the rain and going into their respective houses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you guys couldn't understand Keith's slurred words in the beginning, he is saying, "What the fuck was so important, Jesus Christ!" and "One second."


	4. In case this is the last time that we might be exactly like we were

Lance’s first day of high school was terrifying, but not as bad as he thought it would be. First of all, he had expected a sea of tall people staring down at him, kicking him and yelling ‘puny freshman’. That, (other than the sea of tall people), didn’t happen. He moved from class to class, following the path that he had memorized the night before, determined not to look at the map that was sitting in his pocket. He was sporting his favorite blue jeans, a white shirt with a blue collar and a green cargo jacket with yellow breast pockets.

The majority of his classes were filled with the other freshman, and he was less intimidated by the older students than he thought he would be. He didn’t have as many classes with Keith as he would have wanted, but they had lunch together. Katie and Hunk also had lunch with them, so their little friend group hadn’t been split up. However, Lance only had one class with Keith and Katie, and three with Hunk. He was alone in three of classes, and while he was a natural a making new friends, he got no responses from the comments he usually used to strike up a conversation. And don’t even start with the girl situation. There was a whole new sea of fish, and every girl he talked to turned her nose up at him.

He was at lunch, sitting at a table with Keith while Hunk and Katie stood in line for school lunch. Lance was complaining about the girl situation while Keith hummed along, chewing on a chocolate chip Clif bar.

“Oh, I guess you don’t care about this… so… uh seen any new cute guys?” Lance asked awkwardly, causing Keith to choke on his Clif bar for a moment.  

“Wha…?” Keith started, clearing his throat. “Uh.. well you know.. Yeah, I most definitely do _not_  want to talk to you about that.”

Lance scoffed, “Come on dude, we are best friends, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t-” Keith sighed, “Okay I guess there is this guy in my art class, but it’s really no big deal...”

Lance raised his eyebrows, “Ooh, an art kid. Hot.”

Keith coughed up the juice he was drinking and nodded, “Yeah, okay...”

Katie and Hunk came back at that moment, and Lance continued complaining about the lack of interest in him.

“Come on, Lance, you can’t expect to get a girlfriend on the first day of school,” Katie said, running a hand through her newly cut short hair, which went down a little past her ears.

Lance scoffed again and raised an eyebrow, “Maybe you can’t, but I am Lance McClain, I am a Cuban _God_ and the ladies all want some of this hot piece of ass.”

Katie threw her tater tot at him and fished around in her backpack for something. “Ok Lance..” she started, pulling out an empty vitamin water bottle. “I am sick of you saying things like that so, from now on everytime you say something like _that_ you have to put money into the douchebag bottle.” She took out a marker and scribbled _douchebag_ across the top. She unscrewed the top and handed it to him.

“What? This is unfair, I don’t even have a source of income! I’m going to go broke!” Lance argued, but Hunk interrupted.

“Actually, I think this is a great idea, you can’t keep saying things like that or it will cost you.”

Lance stared at the bottle in front of him and over at Keith.

“Sorry dude, I’m with them. Pay up.” Keith shrugged at him and Lance scowled.

“Fine you little putas, todos de ustedes son putas…” he muttered as he shoved a one dollar bill into the bottle.

The bell rang at that moment, and Katie shoved the bottle back into her backpack. “Later losers.” She held her hands out in a peace sign and scampered away.

“See ya, Lance,” Hunk said patting him on the shoulder.

“Dumbass,” Keith muttered, punching Lance in the shoulder. “They all want this hot piece of ass…” he mimicked and Lance shoved him back, grinning.

\---------------------------------------------

Two weeks into school, Lance met the love of his life, or so he thought. Really, she was just the first girl he hit on that actually had a somewhat positive response, if giving him a stony stare and grabbing his phone from his hands could be considered as such. She added her snapchat before turning back to her group of friends, leaving Lance to practically bounce back to Keith, who was leaning up against a locker, eyes on his phone.

“I did it! I got her snapchat!” Lance almost squealed to Keith. The other boy just stared at him, his eyebrows furrowed against his violet eyes.

“Congrats?” Keith asked, his voice wavering slightly, eyes returning to his phone. Lance heard him let out an angry sigh, but he ignored it, assuming it had to do with something on his phone.

“You know, I’m sure there’s a lot of out dudes here. It won’t be like middle school.” Lance suggested. Keith scowled at him, shoving him into a locker door.

“Say it a little louder, why don’t you.” He muttered and started walking away. Lance quickly caught up to him on legs that had suddenly started growing in the middle of summer and still haven’t stopped. Lance wasn’t as tall as Keith yet, but he was getting close.

“I’m serious! I just want you to be happy. And Katie knows a sophomore who’s out, and no one gives him shit. Keith, I promise it’d be fine.” Lance continued.

“Lance, will you just shut up?” Keith snapped.

“I just want you to be happy! I want you to know that you don’t have to be uncomfortable with yourself-”

“Uncomfortable with myself?!” Keith hissed, spinning around to face Lance. “What the hell are you talking about! I’m fine with who I am! You’re the one who’s a fucking liar!” He lowered his voice so the few people in the halls couldn’t hear them. “You kissed me! You fucking kissed me! I don’t care what you say, but I know damn well you’re anything but straight! So stop pretending you’re something you’re not.” Keith snarled and stomped away from his best friend, leaving the other boy staring after his retreating back.

Lance’s head was spinning as he watched the other boy disappear. A strange feeling started to swirl. His ears pounded as he turned and went to class, knowing a large part of what Keith had said was true.

\---------------------------------------------

Keith shoved Lance slightly, frowning at the shorter boy, who was now eye level with him, Keith taller by millimeters.

“Ow!” Lance pouted, rubbing his arm.

“That’ll teach you to never question my theories ever again. I am right, Bigfoot is out there,” Keith pointed a finger at Lance.

Lance rolled his eyes, but there was a slight grin fading in and out on his face, “Yeah, okay, and my grandma is Shakira.” He shook his head, but Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Actually…” he joked and this time Lance was the one doing the shoving. “Relax,” Keith laughed, “I’m kidding, it was- ow, it was a joke!”

“Not my grandma, but maybe your mom. I mean, _her_ hips don’t lie,” Lance smirked, receiving a slap on the back of his head.

“Fucking.. No. Douchebag jar, Lance. Fucking jar.” Keith shook his head, feeling like he was going to throw up

Lance laughed and nodded as they started down the staircase to lunch.

“Lance!” Someone called out from behind them, the two boys turned to see Nyma, jogging up to them. “Hey guys!” She said, hooking her arm around Lance’s.

“Hey, Nyma,” the two boys responding, one with significantly less enthusiasm than the other.

“So, Lance, I was thinking about it, and you know how yesterday we were talking about pets and stuff?” Nyma started, twirling her hair with the hand that wasn’t connected to Lance’s.

“Yeah?”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to have a teacup pig? God, I would love someone forever if they got me a teacup pig…” She looked at Lance, her eyebrows raised while she batted her eyelashes.

Lance’s eyes lit up and Keith rolled his. She was so obviously messing with Lance, she didn’t care about him. Keith shook his head, eyebrows furrowed as he watched the interaction.

“Something wrong, Keith?” Nyma asked, innocently, her smile dropping as soon as Lance turned to look at Keith. Keith sighed and shook his head.

“Nope. I’m fine, Nyma, thanks,” he sneered, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“No problem..” she trailed off and continued to talk to Lance, but her eyes kept flicking over to see Keith’s reaction.

“Oh, god, Lance I just cannot get over how nice your hair is, and your skin is so smooth..” she ran a hand over his cheek, eyes on Keith, watching as he tensed up.

She grinned at him, her lipstick coated mouth curling into a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, let’s go eat. Lance, come sit by me!” She pulled him away from Keith and he followed quickly behind, like he was a dog and she was a bone.

Keith scoffed and walked over to where Katie and Hunk were sitting.

\---------------------------------------------

“We’re still on for tonight, right?” Keith asked, stuffing his phone into his pocket as Lance walked up, Hunk and Katie following closely behind. Lance glanced to the side, his face a little slack.

“Uhhhh.” Lance stuttered.

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re skipping our weekly movie night…” Katie threatened, jabbing a finger towards Lance’s chest.

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to, but Nyma really wanted to hangout tonight…” Keith’s stomach flipped as Lance said that. Of course Lance wanted to ditch them for _Nyma._

“Why don’t you invite her?” Hunk asked him, always the mom friend.

“What?! No. You can’t just invite people to _our_ movie night!” Keith protested.  
  
“No, I think it’s a great idea. It’s about time we spend time with Lance’s new girl.” Katie responded.

“It’s not like that!” Lance complained.

“But you wish it was!” Katie said, waggling her eyebrows.

  
“Whatever. I’ll ask her okay?” Lance grumbled, stomping away from them.

“Keith, are you okay?” Hunk asked, his face crafted in concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just tired.” Keith lied and went to his class.

~~~~~

That night, Keith knocked on Katie’s door, his arms full of snacks. She opened the door with a grin.

“I brought food!” He smiled at the shorter girl.

“Good. Lance isn’t here yet.” She said and walked back into her house, Keith following.

“Keith! You’re here!” Hunk shouted over the strange techno music flooding out of Katie’s speakers. Keith managed a wave and dropped all the food on the coffee table, adding to the already large pile. The Holt’s livingroom was set up in a horseshoe of leather couches around a TV mounted on the wall. Keith settled on the couch Hunk was on, leaving a loveseat for Pidge in the middle and another couch directly across from the two for Lance. The doorbell rang and Katie jumped to grab it. Keith heard a few faint voices, recognizing Lance’s instantly. Katie reappeared and flopped onto the loveseat that had been designated for her. Lance followed behind, and last and definitely least was another person.

“Lance! You brought Nyma!” Hunk grinned, pointing out the painfully obvious.

“Uh, yeah. I think you know them but uh, this is Katie, Hunk, and Keith.” The three sitting down emitted a chorus of hellos and Nyma nodded, her eyes looking a little bored.

“You two can sit down, I’ll grab drinks. What do you want?” She asked Nyma, already knowing the other three’s.

“Got any beer?” She asked. Keith shot a glance at Lance before sharing a surprised look with Hunk. Noticing everyone’s reactions, Nyma laughed.

  
“I’m kidding! You’re all so serious.” She smirked and followed Lance to the couch. Katie ducked out of the room, leaving a stony silence behind.

  
“So, uh, Nyma, play any sports?” Hunk asked, trying to be friendly. Keith had to give the guy some credit, Hunk was actually making an effort, unlike him, who was just sitting there staring daggers at the carpet. Nyma laughed at his question, and something about that made Keith’s stomach boil.

“I do cheerleading and volleyball. I’m on the track to be recruited by a college.” She said, glancing at her phone.

“Aren’t you just a freshman?” Keith asked, his eyebrows permanently glued in a scowl.

“What can I say, guess I’m just _talented_.” Nyma sneered the last bit, eyes narrowed towards Keith. The boy rolled his eyes, glaring at the floor.

“Okay, I’m back!” Katie announced, entering the room. “Here you, go!” She said, handing out drinks to everyone. “What are we watching?”

“Ferris Bueller!” Hunk shouted like usual.

“The Matrix!” Keith yelled over Hunk’s suggestion. Movie nights were always like this, people shouting suggestions over each other until the group settled on a choice. Hunk, Pidge and Keith all stared at Lance, waiting for him to shout out his usual choice, Mean Girls.

“Uh…the Purge?” Lance responded to the surprise of the rest of the group. Katie shot Keith a judging glance.

“Are you sure, I thought you hated scary movies?” Hunk asked, innocently. Lance let out an uncomfortable laugh as Nyma raised her eyebrow.

“Don’t be stupid, Hunk. I’m not a pussy.” Katie’s eyebrows shut up at Lance’s remark.

“Why are you being such a dick?” Katie asked, her eyes accusing as she looked at Lance.

“Get over it.” Lance said with an eyeroll as Nyma slid a hand along his arm. “Let’s just start the movie.” He muttered, hunching down in his seat.

They end up watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off, much to Hunk’s enjoyment. They all settled into the couches as the movie played. Keith tried to watch the screen, he really did, but how could he when Nyma was practically _purring_ under Lance’s arm? His fists clenched at his sides as Nyma made eye contact with Keith. She stared at him for a few seconds, glancing in between him and Lance, before her eyebrows raised. Her eyes widened for a second, as if she had realized something. Her lips curved into a cruel smirk before she leaned up and whispered something into Lance’s ear, her mouth _way_ to close to Lance’s neck. Lance smiled and laughed quietly at whatever she said and something inside Keith snapped. He stood up quickly, making an excuse about the bathroom and retreated  into the hallway.

What the hell was wrong with him? Lance, his _best friend,_ was in a relationship or whatever he wanted to call it and was happy. What else would Keith want? His head spun as he made his way to the Holt’s restroom on the second floor. Nyma was okay, he supposed. She was a little rude and abrasive, but Lance liked her. That should be good enough for Keith. _But Lance deserved better,_ a voice in the back of his head whispered. He knew Lance was different. He wasn’t just his best friend. He was his everything. And Keith would rather die than see someone like Nyma hurt him.

“Agh!” He grumbled, almost stomping up the stairs.

“Keith? Everything alright?” Keith’s head snapped up to see Matt poking his head out of his room. He was home on Thanksgiving break, but his school gave him two weeks off before the actual holiday.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Can I ask you a question?” He asked and the other boy nodded.

“Sure!” Matt responds, his face a little concerned.

“Uh, when Shiro started dating… how’d you react?” He asked, keeping his eyes on his feet.

“Is this about Lance?” Matt asked and Keith’s head snapped up.

“Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” He mumbled but the other boy just smiled softly.

“Shiro and I are best friends, we tell each other everything, but I think you and Lance have something a little different than us.” Matt trailed off and Keith scowled.

“That’s really not helping.” He muttered and move to turn away.

“That’s not what I meant. What I’m trying to say is, I get it, okay?” Matt looked frustrated as he moved farther into his room before sitting down on his bed, leaving Keith to take a seat on his desk chair. “You know…” Matt began, but then shook his head. “There’s a feeling… when he looks at girls, isn’t there?” Keith’s eyes narrowed.

“Maybe…”

“It hurts similar to a punch in the stomach, doesn’t it? When he spends all your time together talking about some girl in his chemistry class.” Matt shoved his hands in his hair.

“What are you getting at?” Keith snapped, relating a little too well to everything Matt had just said.

“I’m sorry. Got a little off topic. I know what it feels like. When you’re best friends with the most amazing person on Earth, it’s a little hard not to fall for him.” Matt sighed while Keith’s eyes widened.

“I guess you do get it then…” Matt laughed quietly at that.

“You think?” He said, bitterly.

“I just want him to be happy, you know? And Nyma seems to do that for him.” Keith grunted. “Maybe I should just forget about it… there’s so many other people in this world.”

“Keith, promise me something.” Matt started, his face serious. “Whatever happens, don’t let emotions affect your friendship. You guys really do have something special, it just might take a while to see it.”

“I hope everything works out for you. You’re a great guy, anyone would be lucky to have you. And, uh, thanks for the advice.” Keith added before standing up and rejoining the group.

“Did you get lost or something? What took you so long?” Katie asked, shooting him a concerned look.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just talking to Matt, it’s good to see him again.” Keith said before returning to his place on the couch, trying to refocus on the movie. When he looked across the room, he made eye contact with Nyma. She smirked before lifting up a leg and settling it across Lance’s lap. Lance’s eyes grew before letting out a little grin. Keith’s stomach was churning at the sight. The rest of the night went on similarly, Nyma making eye contact before advancing on Lance. It hurt Keith to watch Lance being used as a pawn in their war. After the movie was over, they’d all normally hang out for a little longer or sleepover, but Nyma stood and stretched.

“Thanks for the _eventful_ night.” Nyma smiled, though it was more of a sneer. Katie and Hunk ignored it and thanked her for coming over while Keith watched Lance stand off to the side of the group, looking out of place.

“Are you going to stay later?” Keith asked Lance hopefully.

“Uh, no. I gave Nyma a ride here, so I’d better get her home.” He mumbled, moving towards the door. Katie and Hunk waved before moving back into the house to start cleaning up.

“One second! I forgot my phone!” Nyma called to Lance, who was now waiting by the car. Keith stood watching near the door as Nyma reproached.

“You’re never going to get him. So, how about you just stay away from him, you’re bad for him. He doesn’t need you in his life.” She snarled and Keith backed up in shock. Nyma pulled her phone out of her pocket before waving it to Lance. “Found it!”

Keith watched them drive away, his stomach twisting as he replayed her words. They weren’t true...right?

\---------------------------------------------

“And McClain makes a three, winning the game for team voltron,” He grinned at the group when the basketball he had just shot bounced into the rim.

Keith rolled his eyes, and continued his game of ping pong with Katie. The four of them were hanging out at Lance’s house in his driveway the weekend after their first set of finals. It was the end of the trimester, and the group had never taken finals before, so they were celebrating the fact that they ‘survived’.

Katie set down her paddle and walked over to Lance, “Lemme try.” Lance scoffed, but passed her the ball anyway.

She walked to the spot Lance was standing, adjusted her glasses and shot the ball, which sailed right into the hoop. She smirked at Lance and held her hands up, “That’s how it’s done!”

“Nice, Katie! That was really good for a girl,” He smiled at her, but her face fell.

“Well…. I mean I…” She sighed, staring at the ground as she searched for something to say. “Yeah.. I guess it was good… good for a girl.” She forced a smile towards Lance, and then walked back over to where Keith and Hunk were sitting.

“Okay? Anyways, who is up for a game of horse, huh? No takers? Come on, guys. Katie?” Lance asked, but Katie was staring at the ground as she traces patterns in the dust.

“You know actually I’m kind of tired, I think I’m going to go home…” She got up and walked towards her bike.

“What? But we haven’t even introduced them to the X-files yet!” Keith protested and she paused for a moment.

“You can do it without me,” she said, walking her bike towards the street.

The three watched in dismay, exchanging looks until Keith ran up behind her, “Hey wait,” he lowered his voice, “What’s wrong?”

She stared at him for a bit, her eyes welling up slightly and shook her head. “I'll talk to you about it later I just, I just want to be alone for a bit if that’s okay.”

Keith nodded, although the worried expression remained on his face, “Yeah sure. Just,” He put a hand on her shoulder, “You can talk to me if you need it.”

She wiped a tear away quickly and smiled at him, “Thanks.” She said and then got on her bike and rode away.

Keith walked back to the group, shrugging at their questions.

~~~~~

Later that night, Keith was laying on his bed, drawing, when his phone buzzed next to him. It was a call from Katie, a picture of her with two pretzels in her mouth pretending to be a walrus lit up his phone, and he smiled as he picked up.

“Hey Katie,” he said, balancing his phone with his shoulder as he continued to draw.

“Hey.. I just wanted to uh explain about earlier.. I just..” She took a deep breath, exhaling loudly, “I’m kind of going through this thing where I don’t know… I mean I don’t exactly feel like,” she took another deep breath and Keith put down his pencil. “This might sound weird, but I don’t feel like a girl, and I haven’t figured.. Um.. figured it all out, but I don’t really feel like I’m a girl inside?...” She sniffled. “I think I’m non-binary, I don’t… um…”

Keith listened in shock, not because of what Katie was saying, but because he had never heard them stutter before.

“Katie… or whatever you want to be called now, I support you. And I am glad you told me. Thank you,” Keith smiled into the phone, although he knew that they couldn’t see him.

“Thanks, Keith,” This seemed to be the breaking point, and they broke down into tears, harsh sobs echoing through the phone. “I’m not, I’m sorry I don’t mean to be crying. I just… thank you.” They sniffled a bit more, clearing their throat and laughing. It was the first time Keith had every encountered them crying before, it was a strange occurrence. They had a strong, devil-may-care attitude about everything and nothing ever seemed to get to them. Keith had never even seen them sad before. 

“Do.. would you be more comfortable with they/them pronouns instead?”

There was a silence for a bit and then Katie laughed a little, “Sorry I forgot we were on the phone and I nodded. Um also, I would prefer the name Pidge to Katie..”

Keith smiled again, “You got it. Okay, I have to go to bed, we’ll talk more tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Pidge replied softly.

“Okay. Goodnight, Pidge.”

“Goodnight Keith.”

\---------------------------------------------

“Ummm, help me think! It would be volley _baller_ if you would go to the winter formal with me?” Lance said, spread-eagle across his bed, staring at the ceiling as Keith sat in his chair and wrote down ideas.

“No. I will not even write that, that is.. That’s terrible,” Keith said, forcing a chuckle.

“I could do something about snapchat? We first met because of that so…”

“Sure, I don’t know, Lance,” Keith sighed, he had been here for over an hour, waiting for Lance to come up with something good enough so that they could do literally anything else. “Lance, I don’t think you even need something clever to ask a girl to the winter formal.. It’s not prom..”

Lance sat up when he said that and stood up, pacing around his room, “I know.. I was thinking that it would be more than just to the dance, I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend also.” He raised an eyebrow at Keith, “Do you think she would say yes?”

Keith stared at his best friend’s nervous face, and he realized that he had only seen this look on Lance’s face one time before, when he was talking about how he didn’t think he would be cool enough for high school. He needed this, and he needed Keith to tell him that everything would be alright. Keith thought back to what Matt said, _don’t let emotions get in the way of your friendship._ “Of course she will Lance. She.. she clearly likes you.”

Lance’s face lit up at that, a enormous smile wiping the self-deprecating frown off his face as though it had never been there in the first place. “Thanks, Keith.” He wrapped Keith in a hug where he sat. His phone buzzed, and he straightened up, pulling it out of his back pocket. His face lit up even more. “It’s her.” He opened a snapchat, it was a video of her singing along to a song in the car with the dog filter over her face. He smiled at it and shook his head, “God, she is just perfect.”

Keith wrinkled his nose at the shorter boy, not understanding what about Nyma could ever be considered perfect. “Okay, make a real life dog filter to hold on your face and write ‘Nyma, the winter formal would be ruff without you.’” Keith muttered, _Friendship, not feelings_ running through his head on repeat.

“Oh my fuck! Keith that is perfect!” Lance laughed, slapping Keith on the shoulder. “I’m actually really surprised you came up with that.” He giggled and Keith shrugged. “Want to help me start making it?”

Keith groaned internally. He did not want to spend one more second talking about Nyma. “Actually, I have to get to practice, I’m training to test for my black belt, so I gotta…”

“Sure, sure.” Lance said, “Kill it.” He winked at Keith as he left, and Keith rushed out so Lance wouldn’t see the crimson invading Keith’s ears and neck. _He is making a poster to ask a girl out, get your head on straight,_ Keith thought to himself and then chuckled lightly. _That might be tough._ He snickered to himself, unable to stop until he was halfway to the dojang.

~~~~~

The string quartet was sitting outside the school the next day, waiting with Lance for Nyma to walk out of the school. Keith shook his head at the image, Lance was a dork, but he was a cute one.

“Wow, you are really going all out aren’t you?” Keith chuckled, Lance glanced at him briefly before looking back at the door.

“I have to if I’m going to get a fucking goddess to go out with me!” Lance blurted, his hands shaking.

“I’m not usually nice, so bear with me,” Keith said, rolling his eyes. He put a hand on Lance’s arm, “you will be _fine._ Just breathe.”

Lance chuckled lightly and took a deep breath, “Thanks, bro.”

Hunk and Pidge walked out soon after, in a deep discussion about something from their engineering class.

“What a sight,” Hunk joked, and Pidge smiled lightly.

“Hey, Lance I know you are waiting for Nyma right now, but can I just say something really quick.” The group gathered around, Lance’s eyes still on the door. “I already told Keith, but…” They took a deep breath, “I am non-binary, and I would like you to use they/them pronouns and call me Pidge instead of Katie.” They said it all in one breath, inhaling a big gulp of air after they finished. Hunk grinned, and Lance raised his eyebrows.

“Thanks for telling us, Pidge,” Hunk said.

“I mean, I wasn’t expecting this, but I totally support you” Lance said, smiling. He glanced over at the doors briefly and Nyma stepped out. “Oh! Give me one second, we can continue this in a second.” He looked back and forth between Pidge and Nyma a few times, clearly seeing that this was important to both of them.

“I, I will be back soon,” He said quickly. He felt a pang of guilt as he chose Nyma, but ignored it as he walked away from his friends.

\---------------------------------------------

“What’s up, dudes?” Lance grinned, before slinging an arm around Keith’s shoulders. Hunk and Pidge grinned.

  
“Hey, Lance! Long time no see.” Hunk smiled.

“Friends and fuckers, I am a changed man. I now have an amazing girlfriend and a secure spot in the status of this school. I have an announcement!” He exclaimed, his face lit up in excitement.

“What is it.” Pidge sighed at their friend’s dramatics.

“I’m trying out for the school play!” He said with a grin.

“That’s awesome, dude! I know you’ll get a good part.” Hunk said, hugging his friend.

“That’s really great, Lance, I know how much you used to want to.” Keith said with a genuine smile. It was good to see Lance excited over something other than Nyma. Lance returned the smile, eyes focusing on Keith for a second, like he hadn’t noticed he was there.

“Lance!” Nyma’s voice rang out above the noise of the hallway. “Come on, let’s go to lunch.” Lance smiled sympathetically at the group and ran to catch up with Nyma. She looked behind them, catching Keith’s eye before winking with a smirk and latching her and Lance’s hands together.

As Lance and Nyma made their way to lunch, Lance was nervous with anticipation. Auditions were after school today and he really wanted a part.

“I was thinking, maybe today we could go to the mall? I need more clothes and I’d appreciate someone’s opinion.” Nyma proposed, taking a sip of her soda.

“Uh… well the thing is, I’m trying out for the play, maybe tomorrow though.” Lance said, unlocking his phone.

“You’re what?” Nyma asked incredulously and Lance was taken aback.

“I’ve always wanted to be in a musical, it just never really worked out. So, I thought now would be great. It’s Into the Woods, I’m actually really nervous-”

“Why the hell would you want to be in a musical?” Nyma snarled.

“Uh, because it sounds fun? And I like singing?” Lance asked, his voice small.

“If you want to date me, you can’t do the musical.” She announced and Lance squawked.

“What?”

“You’re not gay, so don’t act like it. I don’t want to date a broadway-loving queer.”

“Nyma, that’s not fair.” Lance protested.

“Look, you either take my offer or leave it and do your little play.” She sneered. Lance’s stomach flipped as he looked at the girl sitting in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he answered after a pause.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I won’t do the play. Can I do basketball, though?” He asked, feeling weird about this whole situation.

“That’s more like it. Of course you can!” She smiled and stood up to throw her food away. “Tryouts are tomorrow! I know you’ll do amazing, and I’ll be at every game.” She promised and he let out a little breath. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Plus, he didn’t want people to think he was gay. Because he wasn’t. And hitting on a dude was a one time thing and would never happen again.

\---------------------------------------------

“Lance? What are you doing? Auditions are happening right now!” Hunk exclaimed as he saw Lance at their usual meeting place for walking home.

“I’m, uh, not trying out.” He muttered, avoiding eye contact.

“What? But you’ve always wanted to?” Hunk asked, an expression of concern flooding his face.

“I just think, maybe basketball is the better choice. Y’know, then I can hang with Nyma more often.”  
  
“Lance… If you really do want to play basketball, no one's going to stop you, but just make sure what you do choose, that it’s for you, and not someone else. Either way, we’ll still support you. We can be like your cheer squad!” Lance laughed a little at that.

“No offense, Hunk, but there’s an _actual_ cheer squad for that.”

“Guess we’ll have to settle for your number one fans.” Hunk smiled and they began to walk home.

~~~~~

Later that night, Lance was sitting in his room, homework sprawled across the bed. His conversation with Hunk was replaying in his head as he tried to complete his English homework. With a frustrated grunt, he tossed his copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ aside and grabbed his phone. His last text from Nyma said something about her grandma and needing to help, or something like that. Bored, he scrolled through instagram before pausing on a photo that was recently posted by Lucy, a friend of Nyma. The picture was a mirror selfie taken by Lucy, with a familiar figure in the corner of the photo, posing with her tongue out. Maybe Nyma had finished with her grandma? Or maybe her grandma didn’t end up needing her help? A voice inside kept hissing the obvious; Nyma had lied to him.

Whatever, this wasn’t a big deal anyway, right? Lance looked up at the setting sun through his window before his eyes travelled down to the house opposite him. There was a figure in the room, and before he even really looked, he knew it was Keith. Grabbing a piece of paper, Lance wrote a quick message before folding it into a paper airplane. He knew it was lame, all it contained was a boring _hey_ , but it was _something_ , after weeks of silence. After Nyma came into their lives, Lance knew he and Keith were growing apart. He felt bad, but he had responsibilities now, didn’t he? He had a girlfriend now. He opened his window and picked up a small rock from the window ledge before lightly throwing it against the glass of Keith’s window. It caught the other boy’s attention, but it was a minute or two before he opened his window. Lance threw the paper through the window, watching as it sailed into Keith’s room. It had taken many years to be able to throw it with enough aim to actually go through the window, not just hit the outside and fall to the ground.

Keith took a few minutes before responding, but eventually another paper airplane sailed through his window. Lance hesitated unfolding it, scared to find whatever the contents were. After a few seconds of wondering, Lance tore it open. Inside, a paragraph was spread across the middle of the page in Keith’s scratchy scrawl. Lance took a deep breath and began to read.

_I am fine with whatever you choose. I’m not here to criticize you, you’re my best friend. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Nyma doesn’t actually like you. I know you don’t want to hear it but it’s true. She cheated on four guys last year at her old school. She’s ruining your friendships, when was the last time you talked to Pidge? Like actually talked to them? You know we’re all here for you, but I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces of your broken heart._

There was something else underneath the writing that had been scribbled out furiously. Lance froze as he read the letter. How could Keith say this? He was supposed to be his _best friend_ , how could he say these things? He crumpled the airplane into a ball and shoved it his in garbage can. How could he do this? He dropped onto his bed angrily, glaring at the tacky stick-on stars pasted onto his ceiling. His mind was spinning with thoughts, his eyes blurring with tears or confusion, he couldn’t tell.

He was losing Keith. But he’d gained Nyma, right? That was better in the long run, right? A girlfriend was better than a best friend, right?

Groaning, he rubbed his eyes, the questions flooding his brain. He glanced over at the window, only to see Keith's curtains pulled and window shut. Letting out a sigh, he shoved his face in a pillow. Why was high school so fucking confusing? There were so many questions; what’s your GPA, who are your friends, who are you dating, what’s your sexuality? He sat upright at the last thought. It was a question he didn’t know how to answer. Sure, he liked girls, he was dating one after all, but he noticed attractive guys every once in awhile.  That didn’t make him gay though, right? He was just scoping out competition for dating, right? So what if he liked their eyes, or their jawline or their legs. That didn’t mean anything, right? It just meant he was observant. He rolled over onto his stomach and let out a faint scream. Eventually, his brain faded out and he slipped into a fitful sleep.

\---------------------------------------------

Lance ended up making the JV basketball team, it was his first game, and he was screwing around with the other guys in the locker room, being put in headlocks and whatnot when his phone buzzed. He walked over to his locker, laughing, and checked his texts.

 _Good luck at the game today!!_ Pidge texted, _we will all be there!_ Hunk and Keith had texted him similar things.

His mom had sent him a picture of his father and her, the school’s colors painted across their faces, _Go lions!_  It said underneath. He smiled and shook his head.

His last text was from Nyma, _Hey babe! The cheer squad is going out to that juice bar down on 49th before the varsity game, so I can’t make it. Good luck, handsome, I’ll see you later:)_

The smile fell from his face. He was only playing basketball for her, and she couldn’t even make it to his game? He shook his head, it was no big deal. He was only JV. Cheerleaders didn’t have to go those games so… so it was fine.

He turned his phone off, and threw it into his locker. As he walked out onto the court and began warming up, he searched the audience just in case. He found his parents easily, they stuck out like a sore thumb, faces painted in the school colors, and his siblings were sitting far from them.

Keith, Pidge and Hunk were sitting a few rows behind their bench. Pidge had their head on Keith’s lap, and their feet on Hunk’s. Lance had a bigger urge to join them than to play this game, but he couldn’t do that. He was on a team now.

They ended up winning the game, Lance could hear each individual person who was there for him cheering every time he scored. Lance had grown up playing against his brother, and playing on park leagues, so he was easily one of the best players on the team. He made about half of their points by himself, the crowd loved him. After every shot he made he glanced into the audience watching reactions, living for the attention. This was good enough for him, he could deal with praise because of basketball instead of his musical talent. It was praise nonetheless. The game ended, and Lance started towards his friends before he felt a hand on his arm.

“Hey babe!” Nyma said, running her hand up Lance’s arm. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to your game, sounds like you did really good! You will be on Varsity in no time!” She leaned forwards and kissed him, he smiled down at her. She leaned up and whispered in his ear, “Your sexy all sweaty like that babe,” and then smirked up at him as he blushed.

“Thanks,” Lance said, grabbing her hand, and rubbing his thumb across it as they talked.

“Oh my god,” she giggled pointing up at his parents, “Look at those losers, you don’t wear face paint to high school JV basketball games. I wonder what dweeb is their kid!”

Lance laughed along, his heart beating, hoping they wouldn’t wave at him. “I know right, how embarrassing.”

“Are you going to stay for the Varsity game? You can see me cheer?” She smiled up at him. He had a test the next day that he hadn’t really studied for, being too busy with basketball practice.

“Actually, I-” he started, but she interrupted him.

“Pretty pretty please babe?” She said, pouting.

He sighed and shrugged, taking his seat in the bleachers. “Sure, why not?”

\---------------------------------------------

In may of his freshman year, Keith received his black belt. With a black belt comes a certain level of responsibility at the dojo. It means that you are a mentor for the younger students, you help out with the classes for younger kids, and you are one step closer to becoming a sensei.

When Keith got his black belt, he invited Lance, Hunk and Pidge to the ceremony. It was a huge deal for him, he had begun martial arts when he was nine, and he had worked his ass off to get there, memorizing forms, training with varied weapons, learning flips, cartwheels, take-downs, rolls. Recently, it had taken up almost all of his time, and his friends knew that. When he told them they all responded with enthusiastic congratulations.

“That’s awesome, dude!” Hunk grinned, slapping Keith on the back.

“I’m so proud of you, Keith. I’m so excited for you! I will be there!” Pidge exclaimed, beaming at Keith.

“Um yeah, I can probably make it,” Lance said, putting his hands in his pocket. The two boys stared at each other for a few seconds, awkward tension filling the space between them. “But, uh, I will have to check.” Lance swallowed, mumbling the words as Keith’s smile faded.

“Sure, yeah. It's fine, I get it.” He had a tight smile on his face now, forced and uncomfortable.

Nyma walked up then, sliding her hand into Lance’s. She didn’t say anything, just looked back at her phone, leaning her head on Lance’s shoulder. Lance turned and kissed her forehead, and Keith had to physically refrain from cringing.

He turned back to Hunk and Pidge, “Um so anyway it is next friday, I… I would really like it if you guys could come. Then afterwards I was thinking we could go to Altean Eatery?” He looked at Lance when he said this, a desperate expression on his face. This was his final offer. This was him trying to maintain his friendship with Lance that was slowly fading. Lance looked up at him and they shared a look. Lance’s eyebrows turned upwards and he nodded at Keith. They smiled at each other briefly before turning back.

                        ~~~~~

Soon enough, the day had come. As far as Keith knew, everyone he had invited was coming, Shiro was bringing Matt, so Keith would have quite a crowd there for him. He was drawing that morning, excited and anxious for his big day. It was at one, and his mom had made him a nice breakfast of eggs and toast. She was so excited for him.

Maureen Shirogane had always been Keith’s biggest fan. Any concert, performance, ceremonies, anything Keith did she was in the front of the crowd, cheering him on the loudest. She was one of his best friends. Especially now, going into high school, she was one of the only people he could talk to. She was part of the reason he worked so hard all the time, pushing himself to his limits while training. He wanted her to be proud of him.

He was humming along to _I don’t love you_ by My Chemical Romance when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He reached into his pocket, bobbing his head along with the song as he did.

 _Hey, a family thing came up so I won’t be able to go to your thing today. Sry. Kick ass! Literally:),_ It read, from Lance. Keith stopped bobbing his head, and his smile slipped off his face. He tried to pretend he wasn’t disappointed, but with how much Lance and him were growing apart, recently he had grown used to being disappointed by him.

When Keith got to the car, his mom asked where Lance was.

“He has a family thing, so he can’t come,” Keith responded, staring at the floor. Maureen raised an eyebrow but murmured an okay. They picked up Hunk and Pidge on the way there.

                        ~~~~~

Lance’s stomach was turning that whole day. He had lied to Keith and he felt like he was picking at a hole, stretching it wider and wider, making it more and more irreparable.

He didn’t actually have a family thing, Nyma wanted to hang out and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so he had made it up. Nyma had a way of asking things that made it impossible for him to say no. Her perfect blonde hair always smelled like coconuts and it was a smell that overtook Lance’s senses and rational thoughts, making him subject to whatever she wanted. Even in this situation he didn't even think to blame Nyma.

Instead, Lance tried to convince himself that Keith didn’t actually want him there. They had been growing apart, so Lance told himself that Keith only invited him to be polite although he knew that wasn't the reason. Deep down he knew that this rift between them was partially his fault, but he refused to believe it. As far as he was willing to admit it was all Keith's fault because he couldn't accept Nyma. Lance didn't understand what was not to like, honestly, and he was happy, so of course it ticked him off a bit that Keith couldn't understand it.

Nyma met him at his house at 1:30, when he knew Keith would be gone. They went on a walk, talking and taking pictures. Nyma was one of those girls who took pictures of everything and put it on her Snapchat story. Lance didn't mind, he loved the feeling that he was good enough for her to brag about. At about two o'clock, they found themselves outside of the Altean Eatery and stopped in for lunch.

~~~~~

By two o’clock Keith had broken his boards, shown his moves and received his black belt. It was quite possibly the greatest day of his life. When they placed the belt in his hands, he glanced at the small crowd, seeing the most important people in his life beaming at him. It was an amazing feeling, but he couldn’t help but wish that Lance was there.

Lance who had cheered him on ever since they met. Lance who acted like he thought Keith doing martial arts was lame, but clearly actually thought it was cool. Lance who he had competed with every day from when he was five until this year. Lance who was constantly pushing him to be better. Lance who he had been basically in love with for years. Lance who had a girlfriend now. He didn’t know exactly how it happened, but they weren’t as close as they had been, things between them had turned uncomfortable, forced. It was hard for them to even hang out if it wasn’t with other people. Every time Lance flashed him a forced smile it stung a little more. It hurts losing your best friend.

“Keith!” Pidge called, snapping him out of his daze. “Congrats man! I knew you could do it!” He got off the mat, heading to where his group of people were. His mom was taking pictures of everything, Keith walking towards her with his black belt on, pictures with pidge, pictures with hunk, with shiro, with matt, with basically everyone she could find. As his dad was giving him a hug, Keith caught sight of a familiar jacket he saw everyday. It was Rolo, the boy at his art table that he had told Lance he liked at the beginning of the year.

He had his signature black leather jacket on and a dark tank top underneath. His arms were crossed, covering his chest and he was smiling at Keith. His bleach blonde hair was falling in his eyes as it always did, a beanie thrown on top of it for good measure. Keith took a step back from his dad, glancing away from Rolo briefly to tell his parents one second.

He tried to contain a grin as he approached Rolo.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Keith said, crossing his arms to match Rolo’s.

“You mentioned in Art that you were getting your black belt today so I thought I would come check it out,” Rolo scratched the back of his neck, a light smile glimmering on and off of his face. “Is that okay?”

“Yea, no it’s good. Thanks for coming, that’s.. Really nice actually,” Keith’s heart pounded as he talked, on the verge of beaming at the taller boy. He glanced back at the crowd behind him watching the interaction. “We’re all going out to eat now, do you want to come?”

An easy smile spread across his face and he nodded, “Yeah sure, that sounds cool.” He walked back to the group with Keith and the began down the block to where the Altean Eatery was. His family was close with the owner, Coran, so they went there a lot. When Keith was old enough, he was planning on working there, knowing he would be accepted easily into the tight-knit staff.

Keith, Rolo, Pidge and Hunk were in the front of the cluster, Keith walking backwards so that he could look at everyone. He was in one of the best moods that he had been in in a long time, so he was grinning along in the conversations, happy at how smoothly Rolo had been accepted into the group. By Pidge at least, every once in awhile Hunk would narrow his eyes at Rolo, giving him a suspicious glance, but Keith didn’t think much of it. All seemed to be right, and he almost forgot about Lance.

That was, until he glanced into the bakery and saw Lance, sitting across from Nyma, laughing. His stomach boiled and he had half a mind to freak out at Lance right there in front of everyone. But something deep in his mind clicked, feeding him with an idea about being the better person and he looked away stopped.

“Actually, let’s go somewhere else.” He said to the entire group that had now caught up with him.

“What? But Keith, Coran wanted to congratulate you-” Maureen started, crossing her arms.

“I know, I know and I can pop in later. I’m just not feeling it right now.”

“But-” She protested.

“Just- okay?” Keith said, unsure of how else to phrase it. After a beat she nodded and shrugged, asking where he wanted to go.

                        ~~~~~

Later that night, Keith walked up to his room after dinner, tired from a long day of socializing. When he entered his room, he glanced out the window to see Lance sitting at his desk by the window. Lance looked up and gave him a tight smile, opening his window and grabbing a piece of paper. Keith assumed he would probably ask something about the ceremony, but Keith couldn’t deal with that, not now. That invitation had been his final offer, and Lance had refused it. Keith had no more to say, so he walked up to his window and closed his blinds.

\---------------------------------------------

That night, Pidge was in bed scrolling through their Instagram. They read funny posts, sending them to Hunk, Keith and Lance, and absentmindedly skipping over the countless selfies. They were scrolling through when a certain picture caught their eye.

It was a selfie of Nyma and Lance, holding up their coffees. A _PINK_ windbreaker was draped across her arms, a low cut lavender tank top underneath. The tank top was loose, easily showing the black, lace bralette she was wearing. Pidge rolled their eyes at the face she was making, her lips were pursed slightly while simultaneously pulled into  a smirk. It was the same expression that she made in every picture no matter the occasion and it made them sick. Lance had an easy grin resting on his face, the same cocky smile that made him who he was, but there was something different in his eyes. They were sad almost, like he didn’t want to be there, which was strange for him when he was with Nyma. He adored her, followed her around like a puppy and did anything she wanted right when she wanted it.  In all honesty, Pidge had hated Nyma from the beginning. From the very beginning. She was conniving and changed Lance to the point where Pidge hardly saw the real him anymore. Thinking about it made them sad, and they were about to scroll past the picture when their eyes caught on the location.

 _Altean Eatery._ Pidge’s eyes flashed to the day it had been posted and everything in their mind clicked. Keith must’ve seen Lance and Nyma in the bakery and that’s why he made them go somewhere else. That explained the disappointed look that never really faded from his face for the rest of the night.

Which meant that Lance didn’t actually have a family thing that he couldn’t miss. He had skipped Keith’s black belt ceremony to go on a date with Nyma. Something that he could’ve done literally any other day. Pidge sat up, infuriated suddenly. This was a dick move. A complete dick move. Keith had been working his ass off for this day for about a year now and Lance knew it! Pidge didn’t know what was going on between the two boys, but it was unmendable now. Their friendship had been hanging by a thread ever since Nyma had entered the picture, and Lance had sharpened his scissors and cut it.

Through all of this, though, Keith had been a stellar friend. He could’ve exposed Lance right there as the terrible person he was, but he didn’t. He could’ve easily made Hunk and Pidge mad at him, but he didn’t. Hell, he could’ve cut off every person Lance had other than Nyma by just letting the situation play out, but he didn’t. He saved Lance’s ass, while Lance was lying to him.

Pidge furiously dialed Lance’s number into their phone, marks showing on the screen because they pushed so hard.

 _Hey you’ve reached Lance’s phone,_ Nyma’s voice rang out on the voicemail, _he’s busy right now, but he’ll call you back as soon as possible. Leave a message at the- BEEEEEP._

“Hey Lance,” They grunted, seething. “We need to talk.”

                        ~~~~~

The next day, Lance waited anxiously in front of the school. He had told Nyma to head to class without him because Pidge sounded pissed on their voicemail, and he didn’t want her to see him get yelled at by someone who barely reached five feet.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to prep before they showed u-

“You are a douche,” Their voice rang in his ear and he opened his eyes, startled to see them standing in front of him.

“Wha-” he started, but they interrupted him.

“I know that you skipped Keith’s thing to go on a date with Nyma,” They stated, matter-of-factly.

Lance was quiet for a moment, guilt seeping back into him, making his stomach tighten. “Does Keith know?” He asked, his voice significantly softer.

“Yes. But not because I told him, because he saw you. And then do you want to know what he did? He stopped us from going in there and insisted that we go somewhere else. He saved you from being shunned, and do you want to know why? Because he is a fucking good friend. You- I just can’t believe you Lance. I mean- I don’t even know who you are anymore. The Lance I knew would never do something like this,” They didn’t raise their voice, it was calm, but passionate. “You let me down, Lance. You let Keith down. Here,” they fished something out of their pocket and threw it at him. He caught it right before it hit him in the face. It was the douchebag bottle that they had made earlier this year. “You’re going to need a lot more than a bottle to make up for this though, Lance.”

Before they walked away, they looked at Lance one more time. Their expression had morphed throughout the speech from anger to disappointment. Obvious disappointment clouded their features and made Lance’s insides combust. He hated letting people down, especially his friends. Everything that Pidge said was true. Lance was a terrible person and a terrible friend. He stared at the bottle, trying to reign in his emotions before going into the school. The bell rang not soon after, and he shoved it into his backpack. Trying not to let his feelings overwhelm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry we haven't updated in awhile! And yes, the douchebag bottle is a reference to New Girl:)


	5. A part of me keeps holding on, just in case it hasn't gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Neither of us have built a motorcycle before, and got all of our information from   
> [ this website ](https://gearpatrol.com/2016/05/26/the-only-advice-youll-ever-need-to-build-a-motorcycle/)

About a week into summer break after ninth grade, Keith and Lance finally spoke. It was a relatively nice day, one that didn’t come often in southern California in the summer, so Keith had decided to skateboard to martial arts. After his black belt, he had begun teaching some of the peewee classes, made up entirely of five-year-olds, and while he wasn’t much of a kid person, he could respect these little guys. For the first fifteen minutes, before they got squirrely, they really tried to get the moves, focusing all their attention on kicking their leg exactly right. 

He walked outside through his back door, grabbing his skateboard from his porch, and circling back through his driveway. He was just putting his headphones in when he saw Lance sitting on his front steps. 

They hadn’t spoken since the black belt ceremony incident, so Keith didn’t exactly know what to say to him. He looked away quickly, thinking that he could get out of the situation by pretending he didn’t see him, but soon after, he heard Lance call his name. 

“Hey, Keith!” Lance said, waving at him. Lance had grown in the past year and was practically the same height as Keith now. If they were still friends, it would’ve been something that Lance would mercilessly rub in Keith’s face, but since they hadn’t spoken in three months, Keith hadn’t even noticed. He had also started dressing differently, wearing long sleeve shirt and jean combos that he had ever worn before, and clearly spending more time on his hair, which was fluttering around his face in the wind. He looked good, but Keith had always thought Lance looked good, so he didn’t take it that much into account. If anything, Lance looked more like he was trying to look good. 

Keith smiled at him tightly, avoiding eye contact. “Hey Lance, what’s up?” he asked, slowing to a stop. 

“Uh not much, I’m just waiting for, uh, my ride,” Lance said, nodding before clearing his throat, “What about you?” 

“I’m teaching a peewee class at martial arts,” Keith responded, scratching the back of his head, “Which I’m actually going to be late for, so…”

“Oh yeah sure, uh go ahead,” Lance mumbled, equally as uncomfortable. “Um have fun, it was, uh, it was nice talking to you.” 

“Yeah, you too.” Keith put his headphones back over his ears and began to skateboard into the street. He was beginning to mull over that terribly unpleasant conversation, when he heard the squeal of tires, looked up and saw a small car pulling to a stop just in the nick of time before hitting him. His eyes widened as he stopped. He looked into the car to see Nyma sitting behind the steering wheel giving him a dirty look. She was fifteen, and only had her permit, but her parents didn’t care if she drove, so she drove her own car alone. Her parents negligence was one of the things that let her get away with anything, making her popular at school. 

“Hey watch where you’re going!” She said as she leaned out of her window. He shook his head, glancing briefly at Lance’s shocked face and began to leave. As he got down the block, he faintly heard, “Lance, get in the car!” behind him and put his headphones back on. 

\---------------------------------------------

“I’m running late, be there in ten, I promise!” Keith insisted into the phone in his hands as he rushed out the door. A relaxed laugh echoed out of the other side of the phone. 

  
“Chill, Keith, it’s fine. Pidge and Hunk aren’t here anyway. Don’t rush and get yourself hurt.” Rolo snickered, his voice raspy, and Keith grinned a little.

  
“That was  _ one  _ time! Let it go, already.” Keith responded, but there was no malice behind the words. He grabbed his skateboard and flipped it on the pavement, pushing off and rolling down the block.    
  
The feeling of skateboarding was as close as he could get to motorcycling, which he had done a few times at his father’s auto shop. The wind in his hair, the easy lull of the wheels beneath him, the thrill of freedom and total control of himself, it was amazing. He felt another smile tugging at his lips, but he bit back the feeling and settled for a happy breath instead. 

He finally stopped at Altean Eatery, the smile still tugging at his cheeks. He grabbed his skateboard and walked into the small cafe. As he entered, he caught sight of a familiar bleach blond head and laid back smirk. Keith moved his hand in a small wave and went up to order something.

As he walked up to the register, he almost did a double take. A tall, slender woman with shockingly white hair pulled back in a bun was standing at the register. She was wearing a loose lavender sweater with a pale blue tank-top and pale jeans. She was smiling brightly at the person ahead of Keith, handing them their food with a grin. 

“Good morning! What can I get for you?” She asked and Keith was startled by the English accent. 

“Uh, a medium soy latte with a blueberry muffin.” He said, still confused by the lack of Coran. “Where’s Coran?” He asked, trying not to sound rude. 

“Oh! Sorry, you must be a regular. I’m Allura, Coran’s niece. He fell at the gym walking off a treadmill. He has a broken arm and a concussion. I’m going to med school here in the fall, so it just made sense that I took over the cafe for him while he was out!” Keith nodded.

“Is he okay?” He asked, taking his food and drink from the woman. 

“Yes, he’s planned on making a full recovery, but I’ll tell him you’re worried about him…”

“Keith.” 

“Keith. Have a great day!” She said with a smile and Keith turned towards Rolo. The other boy was sitting in an oversized chair in the corner, his hand moving on a sketchbook. Keith made his way towards him, setting his food down before peeking over the other boy’s shoulder to see what he had created. Rolo let out a light laugh, flipping his sketchbook closed before the other boy could see the drawing.    
  


“Nu-huh. Not finished.” The light haired boy said with a lazy smile. 

“Ugh, come on! I can offer critique! I can help!” Keith whined, returning to his seat and sipping on his straw angrily, settling into the comfortable smell of nicotine that was always faintly detectable on Rolo’s breath. 

“I’ll show you soon, it’s just not ready yet.” Rolo said, leaning forward in his seat, locking eyes with Keith. “Promise.” He added, his voice soft. Keith’s stomach flipped as his face morphed into a grin. 

“Fine, but I want to see it soon!” He groaned, much to the others amusement. As the two settled into their spots, Rolo returning to sketching and Keith pulling out his phone, the door opened. 

“‘Sup brats?” Pidge grinned, not even bothering to look at the two as they walked to the counter. Hunk followed behind, waving at the boys and stopping behind Pidge to order something. Rolo leaned over to Keith, his voice dropped just above a whisper. 

“The new girl’s kinda cute, huh?” He asked, eyes flicking up to watch Keith’s reaction. 

“Uh, I guess. If you’re into that…” Keith’s voice trailed off. 

“Into what, girls?” Rolo asked, leaning back and meeting Keith’s eyes. The other stared, eyes growing slightly at what he said. 

“Um, uh, not that I’m not, ‘cause I totally am!” He backtracked, face heating up.

“Keith. You’re gayer than my brother!” Pidge snorted, sipping their iced latte. Keith’s neck and cheeks flooded with blush as Rolo chuckled in the background. 

“Pidge, shut up.” Keith muttered.    
  
“I don’t know, Matt’s pretty gay.” Rolo snickered. 

“Haven’t you only met him like three times?” Hunk interjects. 

“What can I say, guess I just have a pretty good gaydar.” Rolo responded, his usual lazy smirk adorning his face. 

“Well, I mean, you’re pretty gay yourself.” Pidge laughed, biting off her muffin. 

“Bi, actually.” Rolo corrected and for some reason, Keith’s heart fluttered rapidly. Before anyone could say anything else, the door tinkled again, a very familiar man walked in. 

“Hey, Keith.” Keith launched up from his seat, almost knocking over his drink.    
  
“Shiro!” He exclaimed, grinning. He flung himself at his older brother, the other enveloping him in a hug. 

“Hey, bud.” Shiro said with a laugh. 

“What are you doing home?” He asked, eyebrows knitting in concern. Shiro wasn’t supposed to be home for another few months. 

“The internship I was offered was filled, so I decided to come home early.” He responded. “Thought I’d help Dad with the shop for a little while.” Their father owned an auto shop a few blocks away from their house. 

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy you’re home!” Keith grinned and Shiro looked around at the group. 

“Hey, Pidge and Hunk!” The older man smiled and nodded to the two. His gaze shifted to Rolo sitting off to the side. “Who’s this?” He asked Keith.

“Oh, Shiro this is Rolo. Rolo this is my brother Shiro.” Keith introduced the two. Rolo stood up to shake the older man’s hand, smiling.    
  


“It’s nice to meet you,” Rolo said to Keith’s surprise. Rolo was never very professional, but with Shiro he was solemn and serious. Keith’s stomach swirled a little at the exchange, and he lowered his head a little to hide the smile that was growing. 

“You too! So you’re the one my brother never shuts up about.” Shiro laughed as Keith gawked, his face turning red. 

“Shut up, Shiro!” Keith squeaked, glancing up through his bangs to catch a glimpse of Rolo. The other boy was blushing slightly, concealing a smile with a gentle laugh. Keith ducked as Shiro tried to ruffle his hair. “Just go get coffee, dumbass.” Keith muttered and Shiro raised an eyebrow.

“Language!” He reprimanded and made his way to the counter. 

“Sorry about that.” Keith apologized to Rolo. Pidge burst out laughing as Hunk tried to silence them with hushes. 

  
“Nah, it’s fine.” Rolo responded, the slight blush still apparent on his cheeks.  Keith smiled and looked up at the other boy before taking a sip of his latte. “So you talk about me, huh?” Rolo asked, his signature smirk back. Keith choked on his drink a little. 

“Shut up.” He muttered and glanced back at Shiro. His brother was standing at the counter, red splotching his face as he chatted with the new barista. “Someone’s got a crush!” Keith laughed, motioning to Shiro. Hunk snorted and Pidge pulled out their phone, snapping a photo, probably for blackmail purposes later. Allura laughed and the red on Shiro’s cheeks grew as he nodded and turned back to the group. 

“Did you get her number?” Pidge asked as soon as man returned to the group. Shiro turned redder than before, his mouth flapping open like a fish.

“Of course not!” He said, almost horrified. 

“But you wanted to.” Keith added with a devilish grin. 

“I...I… Be quiet!” Shiro spluttered as the rest of the group laughed. Keith glanced around at the new group. Lance hadn’t hung out with them in a long time, but for some reason, Keith didn’t feel the loss. Rolo filled Lance’s role well, if not better. Keith smiled contently at the group, before hiding his happiness in his coffee. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance was just getting home from another uneventful day with Nyma, this one spent laying on the couch in her basement and going on their phones. He was fine with it, they did plenty of other things, so he could live with some days being more… boring. He closed the door and flopped onto his couch, grabbing a magazine that was placed on the coffee table. As he flicked through people’s thoughts on the final  _ Harry Potter  _ movie, his mom walked into the room. 

“Hijo _ ,  _ can you put something a little nicer on for tonight?” She said, as she put her earrings on. Lance sat up, setting the magazine back down, and putting his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Um, what’s going on tonight?” 

“Didn’t I tell you? Shiro is back in town, so the Shirogane’s invited us over for dinner,” She finished putting her earrings on, turned to see him still sitting on the couch, and sighed. She walked to him, rolling up the magazine and smacking his feet with it. “Lance, come on. We don’t have much time, we are supposed to be there in ten minutes!” 

“Jesus Christ, Ma, we live right next to them, we’ll be fine.” He said, getting up nonetheless and heading up to his room. He took off his shirt, throwing on something a little nicer, and glanced out the window. 

Shiro and Keith were sitting on Keith’s bed, playing some sort of card game. Keith drew a card and then grinned at Shiro, laying down his cards slowly, and saying something. Shiro threw his cards up in the air and Keith laughed, saying something else. Shiro cocked his head at that and tackled Keith. Lance smiled at the interaction. That side of Keith was rare around Lance nowadays and he missed seeing it. When they were younger, Keith was always like that, he was always so… real. Now they could barely have a conversation, interactions filled with short sentences and tight smiles. Then, Pidge walked in and, upon seeing the two boys wrestling, started pumping their hand and yelling what Lance presumed was ‘Fight, fight, fight!’

“Lance!” His mom yelled, and he jumped. 

“I’m coming!” He said, furiously buttoning his shirt and rushing down the stairs. 

~~~~~

When Lance walked in, his family following close behind him, everyone was already seated at the table. Lance took a deep breath, feigning his signature confident expression. Watching them through the window had left him a bit nervous for the dinner. It dawned on him that he hadn’t spent time with his friends in a while this summer. The responsibility of being Nyma’s boyfriend, being ready at all times to be there when she needed, had left him with almost no time for other things. 

“Hi Lance!” Shiro said, smiling and pulling him into a hug. “How’re ya doin?” He smiled at him and all of Lance’s admiration for him came rushing back. Lance had adored Shiro when he was younger. Sure, Lance had older siblings, but he spent everyday with them. He knew that they were messes, but Shiro seemed to have it all under control. He was one of those natural born leaders, someone who could make everyone feel like they could accomplish anything. It was no surprise that he was on the track to being a professor. As far as Lance knew, when he graduated Shiro was going to become a teacher aid at his college and eventually be an astrophysics professor. He would be the perfect professor because listening to him talk for just a few minutes left you inspired. It was one of the things Lance looked up to most. 

“I’m doing okay, how about you? Glad college is over?” Lance responded, heading towards a chair next to Hunk. 

Shiro sighed and laughed, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I would be, but I need a freaking masters to be a professor” Keith snorted at his brothers adversity to swearing and Lance glanced at him briefly before turning his attention back to Shiro. “So, I still have to go to school for two more years.”

They talked a bit more before Maureen waved her arms around. “Alright, alright boys, we can talk more later, but if we don’t eat now the food will get cold.” She gave them one of her signature warm smiles briefly and then stood up. “Let’s eat!” She turned to walk into the kitchen where all of the different foods were lined up on their stove and counter. Lance smiled as he walked into their kitchen. He hadn’t been there in a while, but it had such a homey feel to it. He and Keith had made many ‘science experiments’ in that kitchen, which mainly consisted of different household items that resulted in a gooey paste which the two pretended came alive. 

After everyone had served themselves some of the various mixtures of food that the Shirogane’s were serving, they settled into a comfortable lull of conversation. Shiro had chosen the cuisine, and it was a variety of all different styles of food. There was baked macaroni next to a big bowl of japchae, they had homemade pizza next to Lance’s moms trademark tamales. There was no theme to this dinner other than things that Shiro liked to eat, but the assortment was kind of refreshing. It was common for the Shirogane family to serve mixtures of dishes, Maureen was Korean and Ted was Japanese, but they were both raised in the United States, so you could never predict what would be served at their house. 

As the group talked, Lance began to realize just how much he had missed out on. The group hadn’t stopped hanging out just because Lance was busy, something that hadn’t occurred to him until now. As the families talked, Pidge, Keith, or Hunk would occasionally tell stories relating to whatever the topic of discussion was at that moment. As the conversation moved along, Lance realized that for about half of the stories they told, he wasn’t there. Instead, the role that he would’ve typically played in the situation was taken by Rolo. Rolo was… replacing him, essentially. Lance suppressed a scoff.  _ Rolo. _ Lance never liked Rolo, he seemed like bad news. The smell of cigarettes surrounded him in a haze and he was only fifteen. He looked like someone that parents tell their children to stay away from, yet Keith seemed to think he had hung the moon. Lance didn’t see what was so cool about him.

Lance watched the way Keith lit up when he said Rolo’s name, the same way he used to light up when he said Lance’s name. He automatically jumped to the assumption that Rolo had replaced Lance as Keith’s best friend. 

“Keith and Rolo are constantly racing on their skateboards, leaving Hunk and I, like, a mile behind!” Pidge exclaimed at one point, Hunk and Keith giggling. 

“Well, it’s not my problem that you guys are so slow!” Keith laughed, leaning back in his chair. 

“My legs are short, it isn’t my fault!” Pidge shouted defensively and Lance tried his best to laugh along with them. Hunk glanced at Lance’s strained laughter, and a look of pity replaced his amused smile. 

“Remember when Lance got a concussion when Keith and him were racing down the street?” Hunk said, trying to include Lance in the conversation. 

Keith and Pidge’s faces fell, and their smiles grew tight. They nodded and laughed, but the conversation ended there. Old memories grew boring after awhile, they lost their humor. 

The discussion continued as the rest of the families moved on. The kids sat quietly and it got to be too much for Lance. He cleared his throat and excused himself, running to the bathroom because he didn’t know where else to go. 

A few minutes later, Lance heard a light knock on the door of the bathroom. His heart jumped, hoping that it would be Keith, but when he opened it, Shiro was standing there. He felt bad for being disappointed, but turned his attention away from that thought. Lance couldn’t help but notice how much Shiro had changed. From the angle Lance got from the floor, it was almost like he was a little kid again, looking up to Shiro as he always had. Shiro had always been tall, it wasn’t his height that was surprising, it was how his face had changed. His jaw had become sharper, and there was a slight stubble on his jawline where there wasn’t before. Over all he had just, grown up. He was in his prime and it was clear. 

It struck Lance that he was hot, and as he tried and failed to push the idea out of his brain, he had a sudden realization. He had always had something in the back of his subconscious that noticed when a guy was looking particularly good but he always made excuses for it.  _ It’s because I don’t want Nyma to like him,  _ or  _ It’s just something that everyone does… right? _ But looking up as Shiro smiled and extended a hand to him, he realized that he had no excuses now. This feeling in his chest was the exact same that he got around girls, and that wasn’t something that happens to a straight guy. It struck him that maybe it was because he wasn’t… straight? 

“-Lance,” Shiro said, shaking Lance out of his daze, as he pushed that self evaluation into the back of his head to reopen at another time. 

“Sorry, what?” Lance said, trying to pick himself back up from the obvious gawking he just did. 

Shiro laughed lightly. “I said, are you okay Lance? You just stormed out of the dining room.” Shiro settled onto the floor across from Lance, leaning back against their bathtub. 

All of the sudden the events of the night that he had temporarily forgotten came flooding back into his brain, seeping into every nook and cranny until it almost consumed him. It was the realization that he was either losing, or had lost his friends. He hadn’t even seen it happening, although it had clearly been going on for awhile now. His eyes stung, and he felt tears forming. He blinked furiously, but to no avail. 

“It’s just… I’m losing my friends. I’m being replaced by some Rolo dude who does everything that I did, but-” He choked on air and tears finally flooded his face, “he does it better, and they all like him more!” 

He rubbed his hands across his eyes, trying to catch the tears before the touched his face. Shiro frowned at him. “They don’t like Rolo better than you. Come on, you’re  _ Lance _ ! You guys are the dream team, he can’t replace you.” 

Lance looked up at him, and Shiro seemed to believe it, which almost convinced Lance. If Shiro thought so, why shouldn’t he? He shrugged, not entirely persuaded, but enough that the tears ceased. He was  _ Lance.  _ They couldn’t replace him.. Right?

Shiro stood up and offered him a hand to stand. They stepped into the hall, and Shiro wrapped an arm around Lances shoulders. “So, I hear you’re playing basketball! Ya know I played basketball in high school…” For the rest of the night, the two boys chatter on about sports, Lance’s dilemmas temporarily lifted. 

\---------------------------------------------

“Keith! I’ve got a surprise!” Shiro said, knocking on Keith’s open door. His younger brother looked up from where he was sprawled out on his bed, looking at his phone. 

  
“What is it?” Keith asked, sitting up. 

“Come to the garage and I’ll show you!” Shiro responded before jogging back down the stairs. Keith groaned and rolled off the bed, following after his brother. 

Their garage was large, enough room for both his parents cars and a workbench. It was filled with his Dad’s car tools and lawn equipment and smelled like a mixture of car oil and dried leaves. When Keith approached the garage, Shiro was standing outside of it and the door was closed. 

“Do you remember how you used to talk about owning a motorcycle?” Shiro asked, and Keith nodded slightly confused. “Well, I was thinking since I’ll be home a lot this summer we could build one!”  Shiro exclaimed. Keith’s eyes grew wide and he grinned.    
  


“That’s awesome! Shiro, you’re seriously the best brother in the world!” Keith laughed, wrapping his arms around the other man. 

“I have an engine in the garage that I had Dad keep his eye out for. I thought we could start with that.” Shiro smiled and opened the garage door. His dad was now parking on the street, leaving a large car space open for Keith. The workbench had been moved to the other side of the area, but a large scratched up wooden counter sat in the open space. In the middle of the table there was a hunk of canvas covering the engine. “It’s a Ducati engine from a Panigale 1299. I was hoping you could sketch out what you want the bike to look like at the end and we could go from there.” Keith let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. 

“Thank you so much! I can’t believe this! Thank you!” Keith exclaimed, grabbing Shiro in another hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Shiro grinned at his brother, leading him over to the table. Keith unwrapped the engine and grinned at it. “When can we get started?” He asked, glancing at Shiro.

“What about now? The engine needs to be cleaned before we can do anything.” Shiro explained and handed him a rag while grabbing a few brushes, a can of compressed air and a couple bottles of de-greaser.    
  
The two brothers started working in perfect harmony, Keith would use the compressed air to blow out any extra bits of grime before handing it to Shiro who would do the same on his area. Then, they’d both get to work on brushing out the extra goop. They worked in a comfortable silence, only interrupted by the staticky radio playing in the background. After about an hour, there was a knock on the garage. Keith glanced up to see Rolo leaning against the frame. 

“Hey, you.” His soft drawl carried from the entrance and Keith smiled before standing up from his hunched over position. “Whatcha working on?” Rolo asked as Keith wiped his hands on a clean rag, getting off the grease.    
  
“It’s a surprise. You’ll see it when it’s finished.” Keith teased, quoting Rolo’s earlier comment about his drawing. 

“Ugh. Come on, please?” Rolo grinned, leaning closer to Keith. The other boy smirked, his eyes focused on the other boy’s dark eyes. 

“Have a little patience.” Keith grinned and a loud cough echoed through the garage. 

  
“Hey, Rolo! It’s good to see you again.” Shiro waved as he made his way over to the two. “Do you mind waiting inside for Keith here, I just have something to talk to him about and then he’s all yours!” Rolo nodded and made his way towards the house. 

“What do you need?” Keith asked, turning to face his brother. 

“I don’t like Rolo.” Shiro said before backtracking at Keith’s scowl. “It’s not that I don’t like him, I mean, you clearly do and I trust your decision,” he continued, ignoring how red Keith grew at that statement. “But what about Lance?” He asked and Keith folded his arms. 

“What about him?” Keith asked, his voice level but there was a caustic edge to his words. 

  
“Well, you haven’t talked to him for a long time.”   
  
“And?”

“It just seems like you’re replacing him. Just make sure you don’t completely forget about him, he was your best friend for ten years.”    
  
“And he made his choice, he’d rather hang out with Nyma than us. I’d say he forgot about us, not the other way around.” Keith growled and tossed the rag onto the counter. “I don’t see what this has to do with Rolo.”

“I just mean, don’t rush into something just because Lance isn’t as available anymore.” Shiro responded, choosing his words carefully. 

“Look. I think Rolo’s a great guy, but I’m not going to date him just to get back at Lance. Now, can you just leave me and my  _ friend  _ alone?” He snapped at his brother, who held up his hands in defeat. 

“I’m on your side, Keith. I just don’t want you getting hurt. Be careful, okay?” Keith nodded and hugged his brother in a peace offering before rushing back to the house to join Rolo. 

\---------------------------------------------

Nymas head was resting on Lance’s chest as the laid on his couch watching  _ Pretty Little Liars _ , a show that Lance hated with a burning passion, but endured for her. She gasped at the plot twists that Lance saw coming from a mile away, and was so caught up in the dumb drama that she barely noticed Lance was there. She didn’t like him going on his phone while they were watching because they were ‘spending time together, so he absentmindedly twirled his fingers in her hair, and glanced out the window. 

He watched birds fly from tree to tree, squirrels scampering across the lush grass in his front yard. Although there are plenty of things that were, in that moment he couldn’t think of anything that could possibly be more boring. 

Then, through his window he heard a faint shriek, and Pidge came sprinting across his yard, cackling their head off. Keith was following shortly behind, spraying them mercilessly with a squirt gun. Eventually, Keith’s gun ran out of water and he was surrounded by Hunk, Pidge and Rolo, who all had full guns. Lance could see Keith pleading for mercy, his hands raised at his sides. Rolo snickered something at Keith, causing Keith to blush. Keith’s whole face was red at that point, and before he had a chance to respond, they were all squirting him, causing him to drop his gun, and put his hands up to his face. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t successfully block three streams of water, and he ended up drenched. 

Lance frowned at the four all having fun. He wished, more than he had ever wished in his entire life, that he could be out there with them, but at this point he knew that even if he was, it wouldn’t be like that. He had lost touch with all of them except Hunk, who he sometimes still hung out with. Rolo had completely replaced him, which he knew with complete certainty now. 

“Lance stop! It literally took my an hour to curl my hair this morning!” Nyma snapped, slapping at his hand which was tangled in her hair now, and successfully taking his attention off of his would-be friends in his yard. 

Lance sat up, inexorably done with Nyma at this moment. “Ya know, Nyma I’m not feeling very good, you should probably leave.” 

Nyma looked up at him, a dangerous look in her eye. “What?” 

“I said I think you should leave. I’m not feeling too good.” He spat out the words, not necessarily having a good reason to be mad at Nyma, but his frustrations being vented there. At the moment he hadn’t thought of this, but deep down he blamed the loss of his friends on her. 

“Fine. You want me to leave, I’ll leave.” She said, pursing her lips, her eyes glowing in a passive aggressive rage. 

He walked her to his front door, letting it hang open as he slid to the ground next to it. She slammed the screen door, her hair whipping from side to side as she stomped out of his house. 

“Hi, Rolo.” Lance heard her say, and Rolo responded, piquing his interest. He listened as her pink Volkswagen sped out of his driveway. 

“You know Nyma?” Lance heard Keith mutter, his tone clearly insinuating that he didn’t like her. 

“Yeah, she’s just a family friend, you don’t have to worry about it.” Rolo responded casually and Lance’s stomach boiled. Jealousy filled his chest, his vision burning, but not for Nyma. She was out of his thoughts and all he could think about was that Rolo had stolen them all from him. But someday, he would get them back. 

\---------------------------------------------

Keith was in his room, beginning his motorcycle sketch when he saw Lance storm into his room, dragging Nyma by the arm behind him. She stomped behind him, knocking a box of condoms off of Lance’s windowsill. Keith’s eyes flicked to the box briefly, but then Lance began moving.  He raised his arms up, and Keith could tell he was obviously yelling. Nyma had her arms crossed and one of her hips was jutted out. After a few seconds, she began yelling back at him, interrupting what he was saying. He waved a finger at her, interrupting her again. 

Keith tried to focus on his motorcycle, but it was hard to keep a smug grin off of his face.  _ Looks like there’s trouble in paradise _ , he thought to himself, looking down at his paper. Maybe Lance would finally understand that he had made the wrong choice, that Nyma was no good for him. He would come crawling back to Keith, who wouldn’t be there. Keith shook his head to himself, obviously if Lance really apologized, Keith would be there. With the real Lance, he couldn’t help it. 

He looked back up at the two, and now Lance had his hand on Nymas mouth, trying to get a word in, but after only a few moments, she bit his hand and he pulled it away, wiping it on his shirt. He threw his hands up and turned away from her. She stared at him for a moment, and then wrapped her arms around him, clearly apologizing. Lance stepped out of her grasp, and said something else, obviously with much less energy than before. She closed the space between them and hugged him. He turned and hugged her back, leaving Keith gaping. Their fight was obviously about something big, how did Lance forgive her so easily? 

Lance glanced out the window and Keith quickly looked away, closing his blinds. After a few moments, he struggled to put his attention back on the bike, but his heart just wasn’t in it, so he closed his sketchbook and picked up his phone, turning on music and closing his eyes. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance entered his house, the door closing behind him. He dropped his backpack on the chair and went to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“Mamá! I’m home!” Lance shouted as his younger siblings ran through the room. His mother rushed into the kitchen, a plate in her hand. She set it in the sink and turned to Lance. 

“Honey, we gotta go!” Lance looked at her, his eyebrows raised in question. “Lisa went into labour two hours ago!” Lisa was Lance’s older brother, Ben’s, wife. They lived a few hours north. 

“That’s great! Let me go grab a bag and we can go.” He started to run up the stairs. 

“I told Keith to take care of the cats, by the way, so don’t worry about that.” She added and Lance was halfway to his room when he remembered. 

“Mamá, I have a fundraiser for basketball! I have to be here.” He said, his face falling as he ran back down the stairs. 

“Are you sure? She’ll be your niece!” His mother frowned. “And it’s the middle of summer!”   
  
“I’m sorry, Mamá. I have to be there.” Lance sighed. 

“I’ll talk it over with your father, we’ll figure something out.” She smiled and pat his cheek, before pulling out her phone to call his dad. 

“I’ll get the twins to get ready.” He said quietly, moving to round up his younger siblings. “Manuel! Grab your sister, let’s go upstairs.” His younger brother raced up the stairs, yelling for Alexia. Lance followed close behind and entered the twins’ room. He grabbed their suitcases and began grabbing their clothes and folding them, tucking them into the suitcases. The twins raced into the room and Alexia jumped onto her bed. 

“I won!” She shouted and bounced up and down to her brother’s complaints. 

  
“How about we play a game?” Lance asked. “It’ll be a contest!” He caught the twins’ attention with that and they both looked at him attentively. “Whoever can pack their suitcases up to Mamá’s standards wins.” He explained and Manuel rushed to the dresser, already beginning. Lance smiled at the two and returned downstairs, where his mother had just gotten off the phone. “They’re almost ready.” Lance said and she turned. 

“Mi hijo, can I ask a question?” She asked and Lance nodded. “Would you be comfortable staying here alone? It’d only be for two nights-” She continued but Lance couldn’t hear her. He’d be staying on his own! Overnight! Solitude was so rare to find in the McClain household and, not that he didn’t mind it, Lance was excited to get away from the bustle of it all. 

“Of course!” He exclaimed and grinned as his mom flashed him a knowing smile. 

“Alright! When you’re dad gets home, we can talk about more details. Could you bike to the fundraiser or get a ride?” She asked and Lance nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m sure I could find one!” 

“Okay… remind me to tell Keith he doesn’t need to come over for the cats!” She called as she made her way to her bedroom to pack. Lance nodded absent mindedly, pulling his phone out. 

_ Going to be home alone all wkend. Might get lonely;) _

Lance sent the text to Nyma, grinning and rushed to his room. He plugged his phone into a charger and flopped onto his bed. His eyes focused on the box of condoms sitting haphazardly on his floor from where Nyma had knocked it off the windowsill. 

“Going to be needing these…” He grinned and put the box next to his bed. 

An hour later, his family was standing on the steps. 

“Promise me, you’ll be good?” His mother asked and Lance nodded. 

“And no one comes over!” His father reminded him with a wink and Lance laughed. 

“Yeah, Papá. And I’ll be fine. Have fun and send me photos! I can’t wait to meet her!” He said and the family made their way to their minivan. As they drove away, Lance dropped his hand from the wave it was in and raced back inside, his phone already open and his fingers flying across the keyboard. 

_ They’re gone. Lmk when you’re coming over. _

He clutched his phone in his hand and a grin spread across his face. This was going to be a  _ great  _ three days. 

\---------------------------------------------

Keith rolled lazily out of bed the next morning at about nine o’clock, which was incredibly early for him, but he couldn’t fall back to sleep. His entire family, while being very energized and active people, were incredibly lazy in the mornings, and didn’t wake up before eleven on weekends if they could help it. He had to be at martial arts around eleven to teach a peewee class anyway, so it was well enough that he was awake. 

After eating a bowl of Apple Jacks, Keith was about to leave for the class when he remembered that Lance’s family was out of town and they had asked him to feed their cats. He set down his skateboard, and turned up his music as he jogged over to the other house.

Lance had two cats, one named Simba, which Lance named while he was in his  _ Lion King  _ phase, and the other was named Princess Sparkles, which Lance’s little sister had named when she was three. He grabbed the spare key out of the empty pot on their doorstep, and opened the door. He strolled in, his music louder than the sound of the shower running. He walked into their kitchen and poured the cat food into the empty bowl, humming along to his music. The cats came scampering to his feet, rubbing up against him before heading to their bowls. Simba was a tabby cat, with white stripes that went from his forehead to his tail, and was the nicer of the two. Princess Sparkles was Keith’s favorite. She was a black cat with bright green eyes that was constantly pissy, which made sense considering her name was Princess Sparkles. She hated almost everyone she met, except for Lance’s younger siblings and Keith. He gave her a little scratch under her chin and she purred, almost smiling up at him. When he was finished, he was heading out, when he saw Nyma sitting on Lance’s couch. 

He pulled an earphone out, raising his eyebrows at her. “What are you doing here?” 

She looked over to him, and got a devilish look in her eye. “What does it look like I’m doing here?” She responded. 

He took in her appearance, which he hadn’t noticed before. She was dressed in one of Lance’s shirts and a pair of his boxers. Her hair was messy, something that Keith had never seen. Her hair was messed up, an anomaly for someone as pristine as Nyma. It was weird to see her this relaxed. It should’ve been easier to see her this out of her element, but when his eyes couldn’t look away from the blue shirt that adorned midsection, an inexplicable fear shot through him.    After a moment, his brain connected the dots, thinking back to the box of condoms he had seen in Lance’s room, and he felt sick, his stomach contorting with a mixture of emotions, none that he could explain. She stood up and sauntered over to him. 

“That’s right,” She snickered. He wanted to leave, but he couldn’t move. “Looks like I got to him first.” She bumped Keith’s shoulder as she walked past. “I’ll tell Lance you stopped by to... Why did you stop by?” 

Keith could hear the cereal boxes rustling, and he just needed to get out of there, but he  _ couldn’t move. _ “Feed the cats.” He mumbled, and heard the shower stop. This finally convinced his legs to work again, and he ran out of the house, letting the door close softly behind him. 

He grabbed his skateboard and left as fast as he could, needing to get away from what he had just seen. His chest ached, and he couldn’t breathe. He gulped in breath after breath but nothing seemed to be working. It felt like someone had reached into his chest and began squeezing his heart as hard as they could and he didn’t understand why. When he got to his dojo, he had missed the warm-up he had intended to do and barely made it in time for the class. 

He tried to teach the best he could, but his mind was clearly on other things. Nymas smug look popped up every time he closed his eyes and he couldn’t take it. After a while, the main instructor let him go home because he was obviously not feeling well, and he took the excuse graciously. 

As he rushed towards his house, the reason that Lance’s family was gone occurred to him and his heart dropped. Nyma had completely changed Lance. He had skipped seeing his niece born, a momentous family occasion, just to screw Nyma. Whoever this new person that Nyma had created was, Keith didn’t know him. And when he was nearing his house, he turned suddenly realizing that he didn’t want to be anywhere near Lance in this moment. He needed a distraction. Hunk would want to talk about what was bothering him, and Pidge was out of town for a robotics competition.  _ Rolo _ . Rolo would be a perfect distraction. Keith rushed to his house, knowing his parents were never home in the day. He barely stopped when he got to the house, bounding off his skateboard and up to Rolo’s door. 

He pounded on the door three times, his foot tapping impatiently. He had to get these images out of his head, and he knew just the way. 

He heard the doorknob turning, and after briefly making sure that it was Rolo’s face he saw in front of him, he leaned forward quickly, pressing his mouth against Rolo’s. After a moment, Rolo kissed him back, his hands settling on Keith’s waist, pulling him in. 

“Are you alone?” Keith asked, briefly breaking away from the kiss. 

Rolo nodded quickly, pulling Keith back towards him, and they stumbled into his house, barely shutting the door behind them. As they made their way to his couch, Lance was nowhere on Keith’s mind, and he was determined to keep it that way for as long as possible. 

After about thirty minutes of making out on Rolo’s couch, Keith got up off of him and cleared his throat. He rebuttoned his shirt, catching his breath quickly. 

“Um, so do you want to.. Ummm be my-” Crimson crept up his neck and into his cheeks as he struggled to find the right words. His heart was racing, being with Rolo did that to him the way that Lance used to. Keith clenched his jaw at the way that Lance always seemed to pop up in his head. He focused back on Rolo, taking in the sight of Rolo’s flushed cheeks as he sat, slouched against the couch, his shirt still riding up on his torso, where Keith had previously had his hands. Keith couldn’t keep a slight smile off of his face as he checked out the boy he liked, who had just made out with him, and who liked him back. 

Rolo smirked up at him in his typical fashion, finding humour in Keith’s struggle. He stood, brushing a hand against on Keith’s cheek, “You’re cute,” he said softly, “I would love to be your boyfriend.” Keith leaned in and kissed Rolo lightly, his lips just barely brushing the taller boy’s. Rolo hummed faintly. 

“Wanna watch  _ The X-files _ ?” Keith said then, opening his eyes and grinning up. 

Rolo laughed at that, a full laugh that caused his entire body to be thrown back. He fell back collapsing onto his couch. He lifted up an arm, clearly meant to go around Keith’s shoulders, “Sure.” 

Keith beamed down at him, and filled the spot that was waiting for him. All thoughts of Lance left him, as he focused on Rolo’s breathing, and the faint smell of cigarettes that accompanied Rolo’s presence. 

\---------------------------------------------

Tenth grade almost flew by, each of the boys too caught up in their own lives to think much about the other. Lance had new friends on the basketball team who he sat with at lunch, and Keith had all of their old friends. 

Pidge was getting smarter and smarter everyday, almost to a terrifying point. They were taking college science classes by the time they were a sophomore, having sped through anything that a typical high school education could offer them. They had finally saved enough money for a computer, which seemed to be an extra limb, to a point where the sound of typing had faded into a constant background noise which accompanied their presence. As they became smarter, their comebacks became more and more clever until Keith was the only person who could keep up. With the new year, they had also acquired a gaggle of nerdy freshman who adored them, following a few feet behind wherever they went. The group of younger kids had coined themselves “the Pidgeons” and some had even made t-shirts.  Pidge received relentless teasing from their friends about this, but they didn’t really mind. They had gotten used to the endless questions and presence of their fanclub, until it was weird when they weren’t there. 

Hunk was still the kindest person on the planet. He wasn’t necessarily popular, but everyone who met him loved him instantly, understandably. Walking through the hallways of the school, sixty percent of the people he passed either waved or said hi to him. Keith couldn’t understand how Hunk was so nice to everyone when Keith couldn’t even tolerate ninety percent of the people in his school. Hunk and Keith had gotten closer through the years also, bonding through their combined love of mechanics. Hunk had a way which machinery where anything he did just worked for him. When Hunk turned sixteen, Keith had gotten him a job at his father’s auto shop, and soon enough he was one of the best mechanics there, better than some of the people who had worked there for twenty years. This still didn’t lead people to hate him, something that Keith also could not comprehend. Adults are usually so insecure about their skills, especially middle aged men, but the people at his father’s work accepted Hunk into the  _ Kogane Auto Shop _ family like they had watched him grow up. They liked him even more than Keith, who they had actually watched grow up. 

Keith had been slowly changing throughout the year, becoming more and more like Rolo. About halfway through the year, Keith had tried one of Rolo’s cigarettes, and had started smoking. Obviously the two boys weren’t old enough to get their own cigarettes, but Rolo knew a guy, who Keith soon became friends with. He wasn’t a druggy, the only thing he had ever done was smoking cigarettes, but as he and Rolo became closer, he became friends with Rolo’s friends. Rolos previous friend group was a collection of about six guys, people with too much money and too much time. They had tried pretty much everything that there was to try, but they weren’t bad guys. They never made Keith do anything, and were perfectly content with Keith hanging out with them without doing whatever they had that day. Pidge was perfectly fine with this new Keith, the smoking didn’t change him that much, but Hunk didn’t seem incredibly happy with it. Neither Rolo or Keith made the other two do anything, but Hunk seemed to be of the opinion that Rolo was a bad influence on Keith. With this new Keith, his temper had also gotten almost out of control. He got in fights almost weekly, beating everyone he faced, leaving him barely touched. His friends obviously worried about him, but any fight he got into was for the underdog, the person that the simple-minded jocks were teasing now. 

Lance was almost an entirely different person. Nyma had shoved all of who Lance used to be as far away as she could, carving him into her ideal person. He was the definition of a high school jock; dating a cheerleader, friends with the bullies who used to pick on him mercilessly. He sat at a crowded table, surrounded by cruel words and fake smiles, his arm a permanent fixture on Nymas shoulder. His new friends would occasionally make comments about his old friends, and he would have no choice but to laugh. His new friends were the type to tackle each other, not the type to endlessly banter with each other over idiotic things. His new friends filled a lot that he had lost with his old friends, but there was still so much that he knew he would never get from his new life. 

Lance and Keith had permanently lost contact, they had no classes together and their busy schedules caused them to pass like ships in the night, barely noticing that the other was there. The two boys who used to be attached at the hip, lived in two different worlds now, worlds that never even intersected. Keith slaved over his motorcycle at any point when his brother was home, and eventually finished around the middle of the summer, giving Keith yet another way to go places that Lance wasn’t. The two boys were so wrapped up in their own lives, they ended up oblivious to the other person. Lance didn’t know anything about the new Keith, and Keith didn’t know anything about the new Lance. However two boys can only live next to each other and go to the same school without interacting for so long. The boys were ticking time bombs, and it would only be so long before they blew up. 

\---------------------------------------------

“Lance! Mi hijo, wake up!” His mother shouted up the stairs and Lance smiled as he rushed out of the bathroom after doing a final check on his hair and face. It was the first day of junior year, and Lance couldn’t wait. He shoveled his eggs and toast into his mouth as he switched the song in his earphones. He hugged his mom briefly before racing back up the stairs to his room. 

He had packed his backpack last night with new supplies and he grabbed it, before pausing at the window. Keith’s curtains were open, but the room was barren. It had been a long time since Lance last saw him, the other remaining busy through tenth grade and the summer. Lance had occasionally seen him coming in from the garage, but the distance from the window was too far to see his face. He paused as he heard the roar of a motorcycle through the open window, but dismissed it as a driver on the street. 

He walked to his siblings rooms, knocking on the doors gently. Since Ben and his two older sisters, Ana and Lily, were out of college, there were enough rooms to let Manuel and Alexia have separate rooms. His older brother, Julio, was in his last year of college and occasionally still came home for long periods of time, so his room was still set up. 

“Mis hermanos, es tiempo para levantarse.” He called softly into the dark rooms. There was a loud groan from Manuel’s room and silence from Alexia’s. His younger sister always had trouble waking up, and now that she was in middle school with an earlier start time, she was having a particularly difficult time with the adjustment. “Alexia!  Despierta, y jugar junto al Sol, abre los ojos, ábrelos yá, y despierta.” Lance sang into her room, laughing at the annoyed groan that echoed from her bed. When she was younger, she loved Lazy Town, and now, whenever Lance reminded her of it, she’d stomp away or yell until he stopped. “If you don’t wake up, I’m going to keep singing!” Lance threatened in a sing-song voice and snorted when a pillow was flung at his face. He ducked and ran back down the stairs as he heard his sister wake up. “The twins are up, mamá. I’ve gotta go, Nyma will be here in two minutes.” His mother nodded before hugging her son. 

“You know I’m so proud of you, right? Te amo mucho.” She said and smiled softly. “And it’s great to see how well you and Nyma are working out, but make sure it’s what you want. It is only high school after all, but I want you to be able to experience different people and different relationships, too.”

“Don’t worry, mamá. Nymas…” Lance tried to think of something to describe her, but all that would come were words he didn’t want his mother hearing. “She’s good. Yeah she’s good for me.” He added, although he was becoming less and less sure of that as time went on. “Though, I do have to go now. Bye!”  Lance grinned as he threw his backpack over his shoulder and waved to his mom. Nyma honked again and he jumped a little, rushing down the stairs in front of his house. He climbed into the seat next to her and gave her a kiss. 

“You’re an idiot.” She huffed and Lance froze at the malice laced in her words. Nyma watched as his face fell slightly. “Obviously, that was a joke. Jesus, lighten up!” She snapped, throwing him a smirk. He let out an awkward laugh and rubbed his neck before turning to look out the window. 

“So, uh, ready for Junior year?” He asked but her only response was a little laugh. She flipped her flawlessly straightened hair to the side and then turned the radio up. Lance let out a sigh that was drowned out in the background noise of the radio.  

When they pulled up to the school in Nyma’s usual parking spot from last year, (which was actually two motorcycle spots in the front row) Lance grabbed his backpack and moved to open the door. Nyma grabbed his hand before he could leave and stared at his face, her eyebrows curled like a mother scolding a small child. 

“This year is important to me. Don’t. Fucking. Mess. This. Up.” She snarled and Lance nodded, gulping a little. As he climbed out of the car, a loud roar echoed as someone pulled up next to them, parking in the motorcycle parking spot next to them. 

Lance stopped for a second, taking in the bike. It was red and black, with certain accessories silver. The parts looked like a combination of old and new parts, but it all fit together seamlessly. Lance had never seen anything like it. As he looked up, his eyes caught on the driver and the passenger. The second person climbed off the bike before removing their helmet, a head of bleach blonde hair tumbling out. It was Rolo, his usual beat-up leather jacket adorning his shoulders, an open backpack tossed carelessly over his shoulder. Lance could see a pack of cigarettes in the backpack and he blanched a little, thinking about how Keith hung out with him. 

His eyes were drawn away as the driver swung a black skinny jean clad leg over the bike, familiar torn red Converse hitting the cement. The driver was wearing a red leather jacket that hung open, revealing the black v-neck underneath. Lance noticed an open pack of Marlboro peeking out of the front pocket. Lance’s mind was stuttering at the look because whoever was under that helmet was  _ hot as fuck _ . As the driver turned to the bike and pulled off their helmet, Lance grinned at the attractive undercut and shaggy bangs that hung over his face. As the guy, (definitely a guy, Lance confirmed) turned, Lance’s eyes grew in shock and he stepped back. The rider was undeniably Keith Kogane. 

Lance’s heart stammered as he looked at his former friend who had changed  _ so  _ much. He took in the new hair and completely different outfit, but his eyes were stuck on the new piercings. Keith had a lobe, orbital and helix in his left ear, and one just under the left side of his mouth. Lance couldn’t look away from the boy, even as Nyma grabbed his hand and tugged it harshly. 

“Yeah, yeah, coming...” Lance muttered, his gaze snapping away from his neighbor. Nyma pulled him to the stairs in front of the house, and Lance turned. He watched as Rolo leaned in and kissed Keith’s cheek, the other laughed and bumped his shoulder. Lance’s stomach swirled with blind jealousy, which he didn’t even try to push down. How come  _ Rolo _ got to be so close to Keith? It wasn’t fair. Rolo wasn’t there for the ten years that Lance was. He wasn’t that replaceable…right? 

As he left Nyma with a rushed kissed and hurried to math, his head was swirling with anger. Lance had been there for Keith longer than anyone else, except for Shiro. He was the one who knew how much of a nerd Keith really was, or how, when Keith was nine, his entire room was decorated with alien patterns before he threw it all away, claiming the oval green head was an inaccurate representation of extraterrestrial life. Lance knew how Keith loved Sour Patch Kids, but would only eat the red ones, and used to give the rest to Lance. He knew how, when Keith discovered he was lactose intolerant, he cried for three hours because he couldn't eat rocky road ice cream. He knew how much Keith had wanted to be a black belt, and used to come over and practice in Lance’s garage when his parents scolded him for training too much. How Keith loved chocolate milk but hated lactose free chocolate milk, so he occasionally drank it anyways. He knew how much Keith hated mystery books because he could never figure out the ending and always got confused by the story. When they were eleven, Lance bought three Hardy Boys mystery books for Keith on his birthday. It was the only series Keith read for the next year, and  tried his hardest to model his personality after Joe Hardy, seeing Shiro as Frank. 

“Lance.” The harsh voice of the teacher cut through his thoughts. “I know it’s the first day and all, but try not to start off on a bad foot.” She snapped and Lance blushed with embarrassment. 

“Sorry, Mrs. Finkeller.” He muttered and turned to stare at the syllabus sitting on his desk. He remembered his mother’s words from earlier, and his stomach felt like lead, knowing he’d lied to her. Nyma wasn’t good. She wasn’t good for him, she wasn’t good for anyone. In that moment, he’d never missed talking to his old group more. 

He wanted to be able to explain his issues to Hunk and receive helpful advice, along with a batch of freshly baked cookies. He yearned for Hunk’s ability to always make Lance laugh, no matter what was happening. He wanted the familiarity of Hunk’s house and his mom giving them snacks while asking about their days. He wanted Hunk’s mom, (who all of Hunk’s friends called  _ tina _ at her insistence) show him her father’s ulafala and tell him funny stories about their family trips back to her home country, Samoa. He missed Hunk’s unyielding kindness and respect towards everyone, and the rare moments, when someone would mess with his friends or disrespect anyone he knew, of pure anger. He missed Hunk’s bright smile and the way that his presence was like a hand on your back, supporting and helping you with anything you did. 

He wanted to tease Pidge about their height until they’d fight him via Mario Kart. Maybe for once he’d be okay losing to the tiny teen. He missed going to their house, joking with Matt, and listening to Mr. Holt talk about his work at NASA. He missed going to Pidge if his phone was acting up, or if his favorite artist came out with a new album, but he didn’t want to pay the fifteen bucks. He missed making fun of their glasses and fluffy hair, only to have them do an equally terrible impression of him. 

But more than anything, he wanted to talk to Keith. He wanted to be able to banter and insult each other until it all ended in fits of laughter and compliments on each other’s comebacks. He wanted to have sleepovers again and fall asleep watching some shitty romcom. He wanted to wake up in the morning and smile at the boy lying next to him, mouth open and face blissful. He wanted to have dinner with the Shiroganes and watch Keith and Shiro wrestle until he joined in and the two younger boys gained up on Shiro together. He wanted to climb to the roof of the McClain’s garage and watch the sun go down, staying until it was dark enough to see stars. He wanted to see that expression of awe on Keith’s face as the sky turned to darkness. He wanted… God he wanted to see Keith again. 

But he didn’t know Keith anymore, did he? His Keith hated smoking and thought piercings were weird. He wasn’t  _ his  _ Keith anymore. He was someone new, someone unpredictable. Someone Lance knew nothing about. It was scary to think of someone he had spent his entire life with as someone he didn’t know. He froze as he realized how much he’d pushed his friends out. His friends had tried to keep him in the group, at least, but by sophomore year, they’d given up and Lance couldn’t blame them. He would’ve too. He was so stupid. 

How could he have done this? Everything he knew about his friends was probably wrong now. They were completely new people, people Lance didn’t know. Lance swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his hair, trying shove away all the thoughts in his head. Whatever he had done, this year was different. This year, he’d get his friends back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tina, what they call Hunk's mom, is the Samoan word for mother, just to dispel any confusion:)


	6. I was so scared to face my fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This chapter was a long one! Hope you enjoy

Lance entered his third hour class already exhausted. He already had homework and it was the first day of school. It was as though the teachers didn’t understand that their students also had five other classes and were preparing for all of the tests that they had to take to get into college. He collapsed into a seat and heard a stifled squeak next to him. He looked over and saw Keith sitting next to him, clearly looking away purposefully, his neck stiff. Lance grinned. This would be the perfect opportunity to begin his mission of getting his friends back. 

 

He looked over again, eyes catching again on Keith’s multiple piercings, taking in how his friend had changed once again. He took a deep breath, he could smell the cigarettes on Keith’s clothes, but beneath it there was that trademark Keith smell. His family used floral scented dryer sheets, so there was a hint of that, and Keith always seemed to smell a bit like fire, that comforting campfire smell. Lance suppressed a smile. Underneath the new layers, this was still his Keith. 

 

“Hi,” he said softly, turning to look at the other boy. 

 

Keith glanced at him through his bangs that were falling in his face and then looked away. “Hey,” he grunted. 

 

“How are you?” Lance asked, but Keith dismissed it, rolling his eyes and staring at his desk where he was doodling. “Okay so no small talk then?” Lance joked, but he got no reaction, Keith’s stony gaze unmovable from the small dinosaur he was drawing. 

 

Against his will, a grin lit up Lance’s face. Here was a boy who had more piercings that half the girls at their school, who had a pack of cigarettes in his back pocket, but he was doodling a cartoon dinosaur. 

 

“So, I have a question for you,” Lance said nonchalantly, leaning into the shorter boy a bit. 

 

Keith stared straight ahead, and muttered, “Okay.” 

 

“Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?” Lance grinned at him, waiting for a reaction. Keith turned his head towards Lance, glaring like Lance had committed a mortal sin or something and then looked away. Lance’s face fell. “It’s because they have a silent p…” Lance muttered, his voice trailing off. 

 

The teacher began speaking then, so he was forced to turn his attention away from Keith for a moment. After handing out a syllabus, a powerpoint was halfway done and Lance had a page and a half of notes. Suddenly, he came up with the perfect idea to get Keith talking. 

 

He leaned over towards Keith again, and could physically see the other boy sigh. “You know what I have always found interesting.” 

 

Keith was unresponsive yet again as he kept his eyes trained to the smartboard. 

 

“We are like the only life in the universe, and we have been to the moon and back, but we still have to spend our time taking dumb notes,” Lance said, keeping his eyes on Keith, anticipating the reaction that he knew had to happen. 

 

His jaw clenched, his grip tightening on his pencil, and he took a deep breath, exhaling sharply through his mouth. After a few seconds he was still staring straight ahead and Lance’s heart fell. He had no other ideas. 

 

“You are such a little shit. You  _ know  _ that the moon landing was a fucking fake and that we are not the only life in the universe. When we were friends, I showed you so much evidence about that, and there is even more now that we aren’t friends that you haven’t even seen.” Keith snapped, whispering so the teacher didn’t hear. 

 

Lance winced when Keith said ‘now that we aren’t friends’ but shoved it aside, laughing lightly instead. “Well maybe you can show me them,” Lance said, and Keith looked over at him, a befuddled look in his eyes. 

 

The bell rang then, and Keith started packing up his books. “Seriously, the moon landing? That was unfair.” Keith muttered and Lance laughed again. 

 

“Classic Keith,” he chuckled, and Keith clenched his jaw. 

 

“Like you would know,” he mumbled before hurrying out of the classroom, his bag hanging haphazardly off his shoulder. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Lance walked into the cafeteria, his homemade lunch hanging at his side. His eyes landed on a table to his left, where Pidge, Hunk, Keith and Rolo were currently sitting. Pidge and Hunk were facing Rolo and Keith, the latter two sitting with their sides pressed almost entirely against the other. Nyma started to walk to their usual table, a booth in the corner of the cafeteria, but Lance stopped. She turned around to stare at the tall boy. 

 

“What are you doing?” She hissed, glancing around to check if anyone had seen Lance standing like an idiot, frozen in the middle of the cafeteria. 

 

“I, um,” Lance’s eyes flicked to the table that contained his childhood friends. “I think I’m going to sit in a different spot today.” He responded, turning before Nyma could respond. He let out a breath as he set his sights on the table. 

 

“What the fuck? Lance, what do you think you’re doing?” She snapped, her long, manicured nails wrapping around his wrist. 

 

“Excuse me, Nyma. I’m going to sit with some old friends today. I’ll see you later.” He said, his voice level, although his heart was beating erratically. As he walked away from his girlfriend, a giddy smile spread across his face and he approached the table. 

 

“Is anyone sitting here?” He asked, his voice a little shaky. The four teenagers looked up, their eyes wide with shock. 

 

“Uh, no! You can sit there!” Hunk was the first to respond and Lance shot him a gracious smile. 

 

“Hey Hunky.” He said and Hunk smiled at the old nickname. “Pidgeon.” He smirked as the small teen shifted their expression into one of fury and they opened their mouth, surly to spew some hurtful insults at Lance. He finally looked at the last two at the table. “Uh, Keith.” He said, mind void of any nicknames, although a part of him knew he didn’t deserve to use any, especially about the blank faced boy sitting across from him. He finally turned to look at boy sitting next to Keith. “Rolo.” At the mention of his name, the boy nodded in acknowledgement. 

 

“Hey Lance, how are you?” Hunk asked, taking a bite of the sandwich in front of him.

 

“I’m doing okay. What about you guys? We haven’t talked in awhile.” Lance said as he took out a container of rice and chicken. 

 

“Who’s fault is that?” Keith snapped, glaring over the cover of his lunchbag. Lance’s hopes dropped at the look on the other boy’s face, but he tried to laugh it off, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that guys. Nyma just demands so much time… well, you know how girlfriends are.” He chuckled, looking around at the group.

 

“No, actually, I don’t. Neither do any of us. Which you would know if you actually bothered to try to be a good friend. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that doesn’t fit into your  _ busy  _ schedule.” Keith snarled, standing up abruptly. “Look, maybe you two can do this,” He motioned towards Pidge and Hunk. “But I can’t. He hasn’t been here for  _ anything _ and he thinks he can just hop back into our lives like nothing? Bullshit, I’m done.” He grabbed his lunch bag and Rolo’s hand, tugging the other boy away from the table. Lance stared after the retreating leather jackets, disappointment sinking into his stomach. 

 

“I’m sorry Lance, I’m sure he’s just angry. It’ll be fine in a few days.” Hunk comforted, a hand rubbing circles into his back.

 

“No, Hunk. He’s right, I haven’t been there for anything. God, I’m such an idiot.” Lance muttered, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath and turned to Pidge. “Guys, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a terrible friend, but I really want to fix that. You guys were the best things in my life, I’ll do anything to get that back. I miss you guys so much. It feels like i’ve missed a lifetime of memories and experiences but I promise, anything you need, I’m there. And I know I really don’t know you guys anymore, but I love you guys so much.”

 

“Shut up, idiot.” Pidge said into Lance’s shirt as they hugged him and Lance swore he heard them sniffling back tears. A loud sob broke out next to Lance as Hunk joined the hug. 

 

“I love you, too!” Hunk weeped and Lance laughed at the two before Pidge pushed them away. 

 

“It’s good to have you back, Lance.”    
  


\---------------------------------------------

 

“Dude, your mom makes the best lasagna I have ever eaten!” Rolo chuckled as they walked out of Keith’s house. The friend group was having a game night tonight, and Keith had invited Rolo over for dinner beforehand. 

 

Keith shook his head, smiling, and handed Rolo a helmet. “Let’s just go,” he muttered, climbing onto his motorcycle, waiting for Rolo to get onto the back. 

 

A few minutes later, they were at Pidges house, and he could already hear the music blaring. When he opened the door, he heard a familiar laugh echoing from the kitchen and his stomach dropped. He groaned lightly, and Rolo nudged him. 

 

“What?” he said, his eyes full of concern. 

 

“Lance is here,” he grumbled and then walked into the kitchen. 

 

“Keith!” Hunk said, wrapping his oven-mitt-clad arms around him before turning to pull a pizza out of the oven. 

 

Lance grinned at the shorter boy and waved a quick hand, “Hey Keith.” 

 

Keith glared at Lance, still not okay with him waltzing his way back into the group. “Pidge?” Keith said, keeping his eyes on Lance, “I left something outside, come get it with me?” He turned on his heel then and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Pidge to scurry after him. 

 

“What could you possible have left? You have a motorcycle!” Pidge said as soon as they caught up. 

 

“Why is Lance here? On our game night?” Keith grumbled, almost scolding them. 

 

“Because Lance is our friend, and even though he has made some mistakes in the past year, he is still a good guy!” Pidge retaliated, crossing their arms. 

 

“I’m sorry if I am still a bit skeptical,” Keith muttered, before sighing. “Whatever, lets just go back in and talk with him like he hasn’t been ignoring us for the past  _ year. _ ” 

 

When the two entered the kitchen, Lance, Rolo and Hunk were sitting silently at Pidge’s dining table, munching on pizza. 

 

“What did you leave?” Hunk asked when the two returned. 

 

“My phone,” Keith muttered, grabbing it off of the counter where he had left it. Hunk raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question him, as the shortest of the gang took their seats at the table. 

 

Once they had finished eating, Pidge grabbed the first game,  _ Clue _ . They took their seats and as soon as Pidge had opened the box, Keith and Lance were shouting, claiming their signature characters. 

 

“Peacock!” 

 

“Scarlet!” The two boys snatched their pieces and then clutched them tightly in their hands. Keith glanced briefly at Lance at the same time that Lance glanced at Keith. The two boys looked away quickly, Keith looking over to where Rolo had watched the interaction. He had a strange expression on his face, but Keith couldn’t get a read on it. 

 

“Colonel Mustard!” Hunk said a beat later, grabbing his own piece. 

 

“Mr. Green,” Pidge said pulling their piece out of the box and adding, “obviously. Rolo?” 

 

Rolo still had his eyes on Keith, looking away now and then down at his hands, “um I will be Plum I guess.” 

 

As they began their game, Keith’s anger towards Lance became more of a background noise. 

 

Instead, it was filled with the competitive spark that had always made them such good friends. They constantly challenged each other, and actual board games made it even worse. Keith shoved Lance away as he tried to sneak a look at Keith’s paper, both boys ahead of the rest and racing to see who could get the correct answer first. 

 

The other players were still several steps behind, and Keith and Lance were both five spaces away from the basement. Keith shook the die rapidly in his hands, dropping it onto the table. It was a one. He moved one space forward, grumbling and handed Lance the die. Lance smirked at him and began to shake the die in a dramatic fashion, waving it all over. He opened his hands and blew on it for good luck. 

 

“You know that doesn’t actually do anything, right?” Keith grunted, arms crossed resentfully. 

 

Lance just shrugged, murmuring, “We’ll see.” Then he threw the dice onto the board, where they rolled until eventually stopping on a six. Lance threw Keith a shit-eating grin and moved the blue piece into the basement, where he made his claim. His smug smile grew bigger after seeing that he was right. 

 

If he hadn’t known Keith, he would’ve assumed that challenging Keith would not be the way to win him back, but Keith was an interesting person, fueled by competition. Someone who could keep up with him was rare, and proving yourself to be that someone would earn you a consistent spot by Keith’s side. 

 

As Hunk looked through the Holt’s game cabinet, Lance’s phone began to ring. He made his way towards it, but Pidge was faster. She picked it up, putting it on speaker, “Howdy!” She said in a high pitched voice and the response was quick, the caller didn’t miss a beat. 

 

“Lance you little shit! I tracked your phone and I see that you’re at someone else’s house. It’s not one of our friends’ houses, so I am coming over. You better not be fucking cheating on me Lance McClain!” Nymas shrill voice echoed back through the phone, broadcasting loud enough for everyone to hear. Pidge hung up the phone, the room was tense and uncomfortable. 

 

Lance’s face was the color of Keith’s clue piece as he stood stiffly in the middle of the room. “Um,” he cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck, “sorry about her, I can explain and have her leave when she gets here…” Lance said, his face maintaining its red glow. 

 

“It’s fine. Um, she can stay and play games with us. It might be better if we have an even number anyway!” Hunk said, trying to make the best of a bad situation and inadvertently making it worse. Pidge and Keith both raised their eyebrows at Hunk, bulging their eyes out as if to say  _ why the hell did you say that? _

 

“Oh.. Okay,” Lance said, knowing that he shouldn’t be disappointed, but feeling that way nonetheless. 

 

A few minutes later, Taboo was set up and Nyma arrived, ringing the doorbell repeatedly until Lance hurried out to talk to her. Keith and Rolo were cuddled on the couch, Rolo’s arm around Keith’s shoulder, pressing them together. 

 

Rolo rubbed the cranky boy’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Hey what’s up?” His voice was soft and caring. 

 

Keith sighed, leaning his head against Rolo’s shoulder, “Nothing, I just don’t necessarily love Nyma.” 

 

“That’s an understatement,” Pidge chuckled from the other couch, “Keith absolutely despises- Nyma!” They turned their head to see Lance walking in with his girlfriend attached to his hand. 

 

“Hello Katie,” Nyma responded, causing the fake smile to drop off of Pidge’s face, a frown replacing it. 

 

“It’s actually Pidge now, and I go by they/them pronouns,” They corrected, although they had already told Nyma that in freshman year. 

 

“Oh, my bad,” Nyma said nonchalantly, her eyes glued on her phone. 

 

Rolo cleared his throat then, “Well, we should probably get started.” 

 

Pidge led them into the kitchen where there were a set of straws. “You are partnered with the person with the same length straw as you,” They explained.

 

After everyone had pulled straws, two of which Pidge had tilted the bowl to happen on purpose, the teams were Hunk and Rolo, Pidge and Nyma, and Keith and Lance. 

 

Hunk and Rolo were an alright team, but Hunk had an unexplained hatred for Rolo that Keith never figured out the reason for. This led to some minor problems in their team work. Hunk would say something and when Rolo wouldn’t get it, Hunk would make an almost smug face. He wasn’t outright about his hatred, but it was more of a feeling that you could sense from the sting in some of his words. Rolo, of course, took this passive aggressive hatred and responded with his own backhanded comments. Overall, they were doing fine, but the tension between them caused problems in communication. They seemed to be competing within their team. 

 

Lance and Keith were a surprisingly good team. With a combination of two overly competitive teenage boys, you would think that they would have similar problems to Rolo and Hunk. However, Keith had left his hatred for Lance behind, choosing that it would be better to win. The two had an obvious connection, they always had, and it proved useful in this game. The two practically read each other’s minds, creaming the other teams. When the other teams got maybe three per round, they were pulling an average of ten. For every card that they got, Keith’s resolve to hate Lance was fading. Instead, he was settling back into his old feelings from when they were best friends, from when Keith was in love with the other boy. 

 

Keith forced himself to bury himself further into Rolo’s body, convincing himself that Rolo was what he wanted. That Rolo was enough. Every time that Lance laughed Keith had to look away to keep his face from flushing. The feelings that he had denied for two years came back tenfold the longer that they talked, as if they had never left. Of course feelings that have been repressed that long aren’t going to fit into the new people that they had become, but his feelings were adapting, molding themselves to fit into this new person that Keith was, and the new person that Lance was. They tugged at his gut more than they had before, making his heart pound and sharpening his vision. It was almost as if he was living again, for the first time in years and he hated that he needed Lance to feel that way. 

 

After the tenth round, Lance had Keith had eighty nine points, doubling the other groups scores. Lance grinned over at Keith, chuckling, “We are a good team.” Suddenly, Keith was transported back to that ancient time when Lance had said those words to Keith after getting a concussion. Out of nowhere he was twelve again, and he couldn’t think of anything but  _ Lance _ . Pidge and Nyma were next, and he made himself focus on them, ignoring all of the thoughts flying around in the back of his head. 

 

Pidge and Nyma were doing terrible. Twenty minutes into the game they still hadn’t scored a single point, and Pidge was getting very frustrated. The two seemed to have two different trains of thought, each clue leading to something completely different than the other intended. 

 

“Nyma, think! An ocean inside!” Pidge practically yelled, waving their arms in the air. 

 

“I. Don’t. Know!” Nyma yelled standing up and grabbing her phone. “I am not going to waste my friday night, playing a kids game with some lameass nerds! Come on, Lance!” She strutted out of the room, pausing at the door when Lance hadn’t followed. “Lance!” 

 

Keith watched curiously to see how Lance reacted. This was a test from Nyma, but it was also a test from him. Lance was getting another chance, who would he choose? He leaned back into the couch and scratched the back of his neck. 

 

“Actually, babe, I think I’m going to stay here for the rest of the night,” Lance responded, a strange glint in his eyes. Maybe he wasn’t the only one being tested. Everyday Lance seemed to be getting more and more fed up with Nyma, this might be a test of his own, seeing how she would react. 

 

Her eyes widened, almost beginning to glow with rage and she opened her mouth to respond but then shut it. Her eyes flicked to where Keith was sitting, curled in Rolo’s arms. She raised an eyebrow and looked back to Lance. Her expression had changed and, while she was still obviously angry, there was a cool tone to her eyes, something Keith hadn’t expected. 

 

“Alright. Have fun,” she said and walked back towards him. She kissed him, causing Keith to squirm slightly and glance down. Before she left she made a face at Rolo that Keith didn’t understand, and Rolo’s cool smirk fell from his face. 

 

Lance’s face was overcome with a proud smile, as if he thought that he had her respect. The naive boy didn’t see that Nyma had an alternative plan, and it hurt Keith watching her play him. 

 

Once she stalked out, Pidge threw their hands up in the air and fell into a chair. “Well, there goes my partner. Next game?” 

 

Everyone laughed, the tense air calming a bit at that. Pidge trotted over to the game cabinet and waved the next game in the air. “I call being the spinner!” They yelled, opening up the white box to reveal a white tarp with red, green, yellow and blue dots. Twister. Lance and Keith looked at each other, eyes widening. They hadn’t played twister in years, even back when they were friends because they both got especially ruthless during this game, causing it to go on for hours. It also caused problems because of Pidge’s tendency to not say what is really on the spinner and just say which would be the funniest. Nevertheless, the group agreed on the game and begun rolling up the cuffs of their pants. 

 

Five minutes in, everyone was bent into crazy positions, causing all of the players to shake. Keith and Lance’s hips were pressed together, Rolo a few feet away, ankle against Keith’s. Hunk was bent around Lance, his arm bridged above Lance’s head. They could hear the sound of the spinner flying across the board and then there was a brief pause before Pidge said the next one. 

 

“Left hand blue,” they smirked and Keith groaned. He bent his arm back, straightening out into a sort of crab-walk position, Lance folding across him, so Keith’s head was right about at his chest. Keith’s eyes widened not knowing where to look. He heard a crash near him and Hunk moaning. Pidge cackled, and Keith was just trying to focus on anything other than the shirt that was falling onto his face that smelled distinctly like Lance, a mix of vanilla and sea salt that was oddly pleasant. 

 

“You still going Keith?” Lance asked, a challenge in his voice, but that was nothing new. 

 

Keith couldn’t help but let a grin fill his face. “You know it,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse, “You?” 

 

Lance laughed, as Pidge called the next one, “Right leg green,” and shifted so that his hip was pressed against Keith’s stomach. 

 

“Are you kidding? I’m just getting started!” The taller boy stated energetically. 

 

“Left leg red!” Pidge called, snickering loudly. 

 

“Pidge, you can’t call each of them fake!” Hunk complained, Pidge shushing him. 

 

Lance, Keith and Rolo had already moved, but began to groan at Pidge. Well, Lance and Keith were arguing with her, Rolo had become oddly silent since the game began. 

 

“Pidge, this is why we don’t play twister with you!” Keith argued, panting as he struggled to maintain his position and not look at the body above him. The most recent move had made it so that Lance was practically straddling Keith, and he was just trying not to think about it. He could feel Rolo’s calf against his, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t even focus on  _ his boyfriend. _ His mind was full of Lance and Lance only. It wasn’t even a question anymore. 

 

They heard the spinner again. “Right hand blue.” Pidge said, which would put Lance’s hand right underneath Keith’s head, touching Keith’s hand. 

 

“Are you serious?” Keith groaned, trying and failing to keep himself from blushing. 

 

“Sorry dude, that is actually what it is,” Hunk responded. 

 

Lance put his hand on the dot, his fingers overlapping with Keith’s and his arm against his head. Keith couldn’t control it anymore and his eyes flicked to Lance.

 

His brown hair was falling into his face and he was staring down at Keith. He had on a loose gray shirt which was falling onto Keith and showing Lance’s entire torso. Keith stared at Lance’s face to keep his eyes off of his body. He hadn’t had a good look at Lance’s face, and while it was practically the same, he had grown up a bit. His jawline had sharpened, his freckles becoming more prominent on his tan skin. His cheeks were pink in this moment as the two stared at each other, neither one breathing. 

 

Lance broke the silence, gulping in air as if he suddenly realized what he was doing. “Keith, it looks like you’re about to fall. Will I finally beat the famous Keith Kogane, twister champion?” 

 

Keith grinned at this and responded, before he could even stop what was coming out of his mouth, “You forget I’m a martial artist. I’m very… flexible.” The last word sounded a bit differently than the rest, raspy even. 

 

Lance’s eyes widened, and he swallowed, his face forming a light smirk. Before he could say anything to respond, there was a loud crash next to them. 

 

“I’m out. Keith, I’m not feeling great so I think I’m going to head home.” Rolo said, getting up and heading for the door. 

 

“Wait, but I drove you,” Keith answered, breaking him out of his daze. 

 

“I don’t live far,” Rolo muttered and slammed the door lightly. At that, Keith fell from his position and got up. 

 

“Um, I should probably go follow him,” he said quickly, slipping on shoes and rushing out the door. 

 

When he got out, Rolo was already half a block away. Keith got on his bike and rode to catch up quickly. 

 

“You do live far. Let me give you a ride?” Keith said, slowing to his pace so they could talk. 

 

“Keith, really I am fine,” Rolo responded, not looking at the other boy. 

 

“Rolo,” Keith said, almost pleading. 

 

“Keith.” Rolo said finally looking up at him, his lips pursed. 

 

“We don’t have to talk, just.. Get on.” Keith felt terrible that he hadn’t been thinking of Rolo at all that evening, but he felt even worse that he wished he was back at the Holt’s house. With Lance. 

 

Rolo shrugged, muttering slightly under his breath before hopping onto the bike behind Keith. 

 

The ride home was silent, and when they got to his house, he looked at Keith briefly, his disappointed eyes digging into Keith’s chest, and he walked away without a word. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Keith stared at the blank page in front of him for the twentieth time that day. He was supposed to be working on a portfolio that was due in a week for an internship with a local art professor, but nothing would come to mind. He stared at the page in front of him, his brain going fuzzy with boredom. His art teacher told him to create three pieces of art, one painting, one drawing and one of his choice. He had chosen charcoal for his material on the last piece, but had no idea what to do with the drawing and painting. He’d always been better with pencil than a paintbrush, but it didn’t matter when he couldn’t think up inspiration for either. 

 

Shoving his head in his hands, he sighed. The barren page glared up at him like an inauspicious  reminder of his blank mind. He pushed the paper to the side of the desk and got up to grab his phone. As he checked it, his eyes wandered to the window across from his. A tall, slender figure stood, their back to Keith. The figure stretched his long arms above his head as he removed his shirt and Keith couldn’t look away from the tanned expanse of muscle. When did he get fit? All Keith could remember was Lance being a skinny beanpole. As the figure moved again, Keith forced himself to move back to his desk. That was it. That was his inspiration. 

  
He rushed to grab his paints, taking mostly hues of blue and arranged them around his desk as he grabbed a blank canvas sitting in the corner of his room. As he set it up on the easel, his phone buzzed. 

 

_ Hey. Can we talk?  _

 

Keith’s breath caught as he looked at what Rolo had sent. It had been a week since the game night at Pidge’s, but Keith had been avoiding his boyfriend. He couldn’t face him, not after what happened with the Twister game on Friday. He took a breath and typed out his answer. 

 

_ Sure. I’m home right now, if you wanna come over? _

 

He set his phone down and went back to preparing his easel.

 

_ Ok. be over soon. It won’t take long _

 

Keith knew what that meant, but he didn’t let his mind go there. He set everything out, but didn’t open any paints. Eventually, there was a knock on the door, and Keith went to open it, his feelings unsure. Rolo came in as soon as the door was opened, and stood awkwardly in the doorway.  

 

“Hey.” Keith said, his voice short.

 

“Hey.” 

 

“So, um, what did you want to talk about?” Keith asked, going to run a hand through his hair before he let it drop, forgetting that he had put his hair up. 

 

“I think we both know what.” The other boy responded, his face impassive and his arms folded. “So, let’s just cut to the chase.” Keith nodded in response and finally remember to close the door. “This isn’t going anywhere.” Rolo stated and Keith froze at the words, even though he knew they were coming.

 

“I wou-” He began to protest, but Rolo cut him off with a shake of his head.

 

“Just admit it, we both know it.”

 

“It still could!” Keith objected.

 

“Not anymore. We both know what’s different.” Rolo looked at the other boy before unfolding his arms and letting out an almost sad sigh. 

 

“That’s not fair…” Keith responded slowly, his eyes glued to the ground. 

 

“You’re the one who always says life isn’t fair.” Rolo retorted gently and Keith let out a frustrated sigh. 

 

“But we don’t have to stop, it’s not that different!” Keith tried again.

 

“Look, we started dating because of him, I guess it’s only fitting we break up because of him.” Rolo smiled softly and turned to the door, pausing to turn around.”You know, I’m surprised we lasted this long. I knew from day one I was just his replacement.” 

 

Keith watched as the other boy walked out the door, his heart beating rapidly. Even though neither of them said who the “him” they were referring to was, Keith knew. It was the same boy his fingers were itching to paint, the one who danced in his thoughts everyday and filled his mind every second. It was the boy who Keith wanted to say he hadn’t stopped thinking about since game night, but in reality hadn’t stopped thinking about since the boy came into his life. 

 

Keith shook the thoughts away and sprinted back upstairs. His paints were still sitting out, unopened and his canvas was still propped up on the easel. He grabbed a brush and opened the paints, praying for the distraction to work. He did a light pencil sketch on the canvas first, plotting out what he was going to draw. The image quickly took shape into a tall, lanky boy, his back exposed and a blanket wrapped around his lower body. His plan was to have the blanket blend in with the background, the body being the focus point of the piece. 

 

Before starting with the paints, he turned music on, letting whatever was on the radio float over him, his body moving slightly to the rhythm. He began with the background, choosing a soft blue and immersing himself in his project. 

 

He jumped at the sound of his phone, hastily setting his brush down and wiping his hands before answering.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Keith Bong-Ju Kogane, I swear to God!” Pidge’s angry voice echoed over the phone.

 

“You butchered that pronunciation.” He responded boredly, smirking at the annoyed sigh on the other end.

 

“Whatever, I tried. But where the hell have you been? I texted you twenty times, you little shit!” 

 

“I was, uh, busy.” Keith replied, his voice distracted. “Painting.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t care. Get your ass over here, we’re playing Mario Kart.” They snapped into the phone and Keith sighed. Even though he wasn’t that torn up about the break up, it still hurt a little. He didn’t really want to go and spend hours pretending to be happy with his friends. 

 

“Um, uh, I don’t know. I’ve got a lot to do.” Keith hesitated, knowing full well that he couldn’t do anything else until the paint dried.

 

“Too bad. Hunk’s outside, look for Tina’s minivan.” Pidge ordered and abruptly hung up. Keith sighed and relented, shoving his charger and a sweatshirt into a bag before locking the door behind him. 

 

Hunk drove into the Holt’s driveway after a few minutes in the car. When they climbed out, Hunk handed him a tray of food to bring in, before locking the car and following behind. Once they were inside, Pidge whisked the food away to the kitchen, Hunk in tow. Keith glanced around before making his way to the TV. 

 

“Hi.” He said, awkwardly sitting on the couch across from Lance. The other boy was sprawled out, his legs over the back of the couch and his neck resting on the armrest. 

 

“Hey.” Lance responded, looking up at the other boy. It was awkward since the game night, and Keith wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. The unyielding silence was cut as the other two of the group came bounding back in. 

 

“Who’s ready to get their motherfucking asses kicked?” Pidge yelled and jumped on the loveseat directly across from the TV.

 

“Shhh. Pidge, language!” Hunk chided and the other raised an eyebrow and folded their arms. 

 

“My parents aren’t home and I don’t care.” Pidge grinned and Hunk gave up. 

 

The day went on, Pidge indeed kicking their asses and Lance being a sore loser. After a while, Hunk looked at Keith curiously.   
  


“Are you okay? You seem a little quiet.” He asked and Keith could hear the genuine concern. 

 

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine.” Keith paused for a second before deciding to tell them. “Uh, Rolo and I broke up.” He glanced down at his shoes, avoiding his friends’ eyes. They were unusually quiet for a few moments before Hunk walked over and wrapped his arms around Keith in a hug.

 

“Aw, Keith. I’m so sorry.” The bigger boy sympathized as the raven haired teen tried to wiggle his way out of the hug. 

 

“It’s fine, really.” Keith muttered, finally freeing himself from Hunk. He glanced up for a second and looked at Lance. The other boy was staring at him, his blue eyes wide as he looked at the other boy. He had sat up, his elbows on his knees, hands hanging down and his head low. 

 

“That sucks, dude.” Pidge said, wrapping him in a half hug before returning to their couch. Keith could see Hunk making pointed glares at Lance before the other boy jumped a little. 

 

“Uh, yeah. That’s rough, dude. If you need anyone to talk to, uh, I’m here.” Lance said, his voice wavering a little. 

 

“Thanks.” Keith said, smiling genuinely. The two boys held eye contact for a while before Pidge let out a long groan.

  
“Okay, okay. Yay, mushy feelings blah, blah. Let’s get Keith’s mind off his ex and play some Super Mario Bros!” 

 

“Yeah!” Lance rushed, returning to his original horizontal position. 

 

“Okay, play the game!” Hunk announced and Pidge flipped her controller. Keith slid down in his seat, playing halfheartedly.  His mind was stuck on other things, mainly Lance’s reaction to the news. 

 

_ We started dating because of him, I guess it’s only fitting we break up because of him.  _

 

Keith was confused, his head was swirling with thoughts as his sight on the TV fuzzed a little. 

 

_ I’m surprised we lasted this long. I knew from day one I was just his replacement. _

 

Keith was befuddled. He knew what he felt, and he knew how long it took to shove it down, but he had thought he had done a perfect job of hiding it. If Rolo could see from ‘day one’, how many other people knew? 

 

He felt his breath quicken and his heart speed up before he stood up abruptly, setting the remote control down. 

 

“I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom.” He explained at his friends confused glances. They nodded in acceptance and he made his way out of the room. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Lance flopped onto his bed, letting out a loud and annoying groan. His head spun as he stared at the ceiling. He shoved his phone away from him as it buzzed, yet again. He knew what he would find if he checked it; twenty pissed-off texts and five missed calls from his practically crazy girlfriend. 

 

“You okay?” Lance’s head jerked up at his younger sister’s voice. Alexia was leaning on his doorframe. It didn’t matter how many times he saw his sister, Lance was always surprised at how much she’d grown up. He almost missed her whiny, toothless cries. 

  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lance lied, too embarrassed to let his little sister try to comfort him. She smirked and moved towards Lance, her folded arms falling open.    
  
“Come on, don’t do that.” She said, hopping onto the bed next to him, “Talk to me.” Lance looked at his sister, a smile growing on his face.

 

“When did you get so old, huh?” She scoffed at Lance and swatted him on the back of his head. 

 

“Shut up, I just wanna help.” 

  
“I know, that’s why I like you better than Manny.” He grinned as Manuel’s loud shout of protest could be heard from downstairs. 

  
“I know, I’m amazing.” She smirked and tossed her ponytail behind her back. “So, you gonna tell me or just mope?” 

 

“Fine!” Lance relented, secretly overjoyed at the idea of being able to share something with his sister. It felt like he was one of the odd children out in the family. Alexia had Manuel, Julio had Ana, Ben had Lily. He wasn’t able to tell his younger siblings anything because they’d always been too young to understand or care to listen. His entire childhood was spent listening to his older siblings gossip and share secrets. 

 

“So?” Alexia asked, her voice prompting him. 

 

“Right! Okay, so,” Lance began, wondering where to start. “I’m finally friends with Keith again, as you know, but-”

 

“Yay! I love him! He used to let me style his hair and do his nails.” She grinned and let Lance continue. 

 

“Anyways, so we’re finally friends again, and everything's great, but now that he’s back in my life, Nyma has been getting worse.” Lance glared at his sister when she opened her mouth. “Stop it, I know you don’t like her.” 

 

“It’s not that I don’t like her, but I love you, bro. She takes up way too much of your time. You didn’t come to my elementary graduation because she wanted you to watch her volleyball  _ practice _ . It wasn’t even a real game! And that was a big day for Manny and I!” Lance’s stomach twinged with guilt as his sister ranted. 

 

“Lex, I’m sorry! But she’s incredible.” Lance apologized, his face dropping a little. Alexia smiled softly and wrapped him in a hig. 

 

“I’m not being mean, I just want you to be happy.” Lance smiled at that and she lightly punched his arm. Which, for the record, hurt because Alexia was, after all, a red belt in mixed martial arts. He rubbed his arm gingerly as his sister wrapped an arm around him in a half hug. 

 

“I love you.” He smiled and hugged her as she wiggled away. 

 

“Enough with the feelings, jeez.” She complained, but didn’t pull herself free from the hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the sibling bonding. She finally pulled herself away and looked around his room. “Don’t forget to pick up your room, Thanksgiving is next week!” Lance nodded and watched as she walked away. 

 

He rolled over to his side and stared at the floor. How had his life ended up like this? He was so happy, every time he was with his childhood friends, but he knew it wouldn’t last, no matter how much he wished it could. At some point he had to return to the reality, it wouldn’t make a difference how much he mended his friendships. They were like paper, once crumbled and cut, they could never be reformed. His friends and him existed in two different worlds, and Lance felt like the weight of his was resting on his shoulders. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Lance groaned as he rolled off of the air mattress on his brother’s floor, his back stiff. He looked up to see Julio fast asleep, surprising because Lance was consistently the last one to wake up in the McClain household. It made sense once he glanced at the alarm clock on Julio’s bedside table which read,  _ 7:05am _ . He groaned again, softer this time, and tried to fall back asleep. He had no such luck. The knots in his back were not making it easy. Eventually, he gave up and got up quietly, so as not to wake Julio, and crept down the stairs. His house was big and old, but he had memorized where the stairs were and weren’t creaky a long time ago, which came in handy with a girlfriend like Nyma. 

 

He crept into the kitchen, only to see his mother cooking. He walked up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

 

“Morning, mamá,” She glanced up at him quickly and went back to cooking slices of ham, “Smells good.” 

 

She smiled at him and, keeping her eyes on the pan, responded in a distracted voice, “Gracias, mijo. Would you start putting some bread into the toaster?” 

 

Lance smiled and walked to the fridge, falling into an easy pattern of putting together the sandwiches. Ever since he learned that ‘ovens were hot and you couldn’t just stick your hands in’, he had been cooking with his mom. Their dishes varied from the flan recipe that had been passed down through generations of their family, to smiley face pancakes. 

 

As the eggs fried, the ham sizzled on the pan, and the fresh bread they got from a local Hispanic market toasted, the rest of the family slowly trickled in. Whether they had woken up from the smell, or the bright light filtering in through the house, by 8:00 all except Lance’s Aunt June and Tio Tony, who were staying in his room, had taken a seat on the many chairs and couches throughout the McClain living room/dining room area. 

 

Lance had just finished serving everyone and was taking a bite of his own sandwich when his phone began to buzz next to him. Surprisingly enough, it was Keith. Lance smiled fondly at his contact picture from when they were younger. Keith had two chopsticks shoved up under his top lip, like a walrus, and he was grinning at Lance. Lance picked up the phone right before it stopped ringing. 

 

“Yes?” he questioned, and heard a faint panting on the other side. 

 

“Okay, don’t panic,” he whispered, “but there are some random people in your house, in your room. Don’t worry, I am heading over and I will take care of it. They are looking through something in your room, and I think that they are robbing you.” 

 

Lance laughed lightly, “Keith-” he was cut off by a loud squeal from the front of his house. 

 

He walked over to the sound where everyone had stood up and crowded around something. He could hear echoes of Keith’s name through all of the chatter. 

 

“Alright, alright, let him out,” Lance chuckled. The sea of people parted and Keith came stumbling towards him. He was wearing plaid pajama pants and a loose, black cotton T-shirt. Luckily, saving the shorter boy from more questions, he had taken his piercings out. In his hand he had a wooden staff, which confused Lance for a moment before he remembered that he was a black-belt. “The people in my room are family.” 

 

“Yes, I realized that now,” Keith muttered, blushing. “Sorry, I will go home now.” 

 

Protests erupted from Lance’s endless family members. 

 

“Come on, the poor guy is wearing pajamas and holding a bow staff,” Lance argued, earning a grateful glance from Keith. 

 

“Oh fine! But make sure to come back later, Keith!” Lance’s abuela said, giving Keith a quick hug before he left. The family babbled on in agreement and Keith nodded quickly before practically leaping out of the doorway and running back to his house. 

 

Lance couldn’t keep a smile off his face for the rest of the morning. Keith had seen people in Lance’s room and instantly come over to beat them with a bow staff. He was back to the level of friendship where Keith would protect him and it felt amazing. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Keith was having a bad day. He’d gotten a C on a science test and forgot to turn in the project in English. To make it all worse, his suspension on his bike had worn out, leaving him to an incredibly bumpy and cautious ride home. 

 

As he pulled into his driveway, he saw a familiar and resented car parked in the McClain’s driveway. The tall, lanky next-door resident was standing in the driveway, out of sight from the house. His blonde girlfriend was standing in front of him, finger against his chest and spitting angry words. Keith drove into his garage before climbing off his bike and shoving his helmet on the back. He paused at the entrance to the building, ear to the door in an attempt to catch the conversation. 

 

“-don’t care what you say! I know what I saw!” Nyma snapped.

 

“Look, babe. Why won’t you listen to me! I told you it wasn’t a big deal and what you’re saying isn’t even true!” Lance defended and Keith could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

 

“Whatever. It’s the truth, and if you’re too much of a pussy to admit it, it’s your problem, not mine.” Keith could hear the closing of a car door and the starting of the engine. “Have a good day, Lance.” Nyma spat and then peeled out of the driveway, tires squealing. 

 

Without thinking, Keith walked out of the garage as Lance let out a large groan of exasperation. Lance froze as he saw Keith, the two boys locking eyes in an awkward silence.

 

“Did you, uh, hear any of that?” Lance asked, his voice dripping with embarrassment. Keith’s stomach curled at the look of mortification, so he improvised. 

 

“No, headphones.” He replied, fishing around in his pockets to find them, before holding them up in an explanation. Lance let out a breath of relief and Keith broke a little. “Was I supposed to?” 

 

“No! God, no. Um, that was just Nyma on a bad day.” He said, then his voice dropped to a mutter. “She’s been having a lot of those recently.” Lance shuffled his feet on the concrete before speaking again. “Anyways, I better go in, got a lot of homework.” They both knew that was a lie, but Keith let him go. It was clear Lance wanted space, and Keith would obey that. 

 

“Ah, okay. Good luck!” He smiled lightly before turning to his own house, pulling out his keys along the way. As he walked in, he looked back outside. Lance was standing there, his eyes glued on the ground and a conflicted look on his face. Keith wanted to say something, but he exhaled and continued inside. 

 

“Honey!” Maureen called as Keith walked into the house. “I’m home for a few hours before I have to go back to the hospital.” She paused as she saw Keith’s expression. “Are you okay? Hun?” Keith shook his head and his mom wrapped him in a hug that he didn’t even try to pull away from. It didn’t matter what age he was, his mom’s hugs still felt fucking good.

 

“It’s Lance.” Keith muttered into his mother’s shoulder. 

 

“It always is.” She smiled knowingly, and Keith’s cheeks flared up. 

 

“He doesn’t seem happy anymore. With Nyma, I mean.” He explained, pulling away to look at his mom. “He did, in the beginning, he really did. But now, he just seems so sad!” He exclaimed, his voice rising slightly. 

 

“Have you talked to him about this?” His mom asked, her voice calm and sympathetic. 

 

“No! Yes? I don’t know! I just got him back, I don’t want to jeopardize it.” His voice catches with emotion and his mom let out a sympathetic smile as he continues. “I just wanna stay friends. I can’t lose him again! It was so lonely…” He starts sniffling and his mom wraps him back into a hug before pushing him lightly towards the stairs. 

 

“How about you go up to your room? I’ll make some hot chocolate and meet you up there.” She said, turning back towards kitchen. Keith bounded up the stairs, tossing his backpack in a corner and sinking into his desk chair. His phone bleeped, but he ignored it. 

 

His eyes wandered around the room, the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, the toy UFO hanging in the corner near his bed, his extraterrestrial posters tacked up on his dark walls. He’d changed it over the summer, made it look a little more mature. He let out a sigh and stared at his corkboard. He’d had it since he was little, but after he stopped seeing Lance, he shoved it in his closet, not taking it out until Rolo and him broke up. It was a little consolation that things were going to be okay, he and Lance would repair things. Photos were pinned all over it, along with a few ticket stubs and receipts. 

 

It was his private timeline, photos from his childhood, along with little mementos. The further you got down the board, the older Keith grew. An old, crumpled receipt caught his eye and he stood up, walking over to it to see it closer. It was from sixth grade, his double “date” with Miranda. He smiled sadly at it, his eyes stinging as he thought about how hard that had seemed. Flash forward five years and little twelve year old Keith would’ve been shocked. He’d accepted his sexuality, and it made him grow as a person. He’d had a healthy, long and happy relationship with a sad, but not terrible ending. He received his blackbelt and was one of the most distinguished members of the dojo. He had amazing and supportive friends, and an accepting family. And most of all, he’d finally figured out Lance. 

 

Lance was annoying. He was loud and obnoxious and always needed to be the center of attention. He had attachment issues, always needing to be put first in friendships and relationships. He was a womanizer, and thought it was his right to flirt with every girl in the area. He was whiny and needy, and sometimes took things too far. He never stopped making jokes, and could never take anything seriously. 

 

And Keith loved it. Mostly because none of that was true. It was a facade, something he put up for the whole world to see and assume, so they wouldn’t know what he was actually like. 

 

Lance was selfless. He put every single one of his friends before him. He loved his friends and family, doing anything and everything he could to help him. He was actually very patient, and always picked up on the little things. He remembered every detail of an event and could always tell if someone was having a bad day. He’d try his best to cheer them up, to make them feel better. He devoted himself to anything necessary, and when given a job, Lance finished it with finesse, making sure it was perfect. He was scared of being forgotten, the one that no one remembers. All he wanted was to make his family and friends proud, to make them believe he was worth it. He would never deliberately hurt someone’s feelings, even at the expense of his own. That’s why he wouldn’t end things with Nyma. 

 

Lance was problematic. He was a mess. He wasn’t able to make decisions based off his own needs. He knew how to help everyone but himself. He was scared of being alone, and never knew when enough was enough. 

 

And Keith was undeniably in love with him. 

 

“Honey?” Keith jumped at his mom’s voice and turned to see her standing in the doorway, two mugs in her hand. She handed him one and smiled. “Let’s talk.” 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Keith groaned as he picked at the edge of the crop top Lance had made him wear. He was sitting in the passenger seat of Lance’s Jeep; his hair was fluttering slightly in the wind. Pidge and Hunk were in the back seat discussing another one of their robotics projects, as usual. Pidge had their hair tied up into two pigtails at Lance’s request and because they had stopped caring if other people judged them a long time ago. Then they were wearing a green skirt, a black tanktop and black cutoff leggings. Hunk had on his usual green capris and a loose orange shirt. Lance had considered Hunk fashionable enough to pick out his own clothes. Keith had not been so fortunate. 

 

Right off the bat Lance had decided that none of ‘that goth shit’ in Keith’s closet would suffice, so he had gone shopping and picked him out an outfit. He had bought a pair of high waisted black shorts and a maroon crop top tank top that just barely showed stomach when combined with the shorts. Keith had been very reluctant to wear the outfit, but Lance eventually got his way as he always did. 

 

One of Lance’s basketball friends was having a huge party, one where ‘losers’, such as Keith, wouldn’t be beaten up for going. Other than Lance, no one in their group had really been to a big party. Keith didn’t consider Rolo and his stoner friends hanging out to smoke as a party, and he had no idea what to do there. Lance, of course, had assured him that he wouldn’t leave him alone. He had some trouble getting the group to agree to go to it, but once Hunk was in it got significantly easier. It had gone something like this: 

 

“Come on guys it will be fun!” Lance begged, while Keith shook his head adamantly. 

 

“No way! Lance I don’t want to go to a dumb party, especially with all of your idiot jock friends!” Keith complained, earning a look from Lance but staying strong nonetheless. 

 

“Yeah, I’m with Keith on this one,” Pidge said. 

 

Hunk paused, his features dawning a guilty expression, “I actually think it would be fun?” He said, his voice going up at the end as if it was a question. 

 

“Hunk!” Keith and Pidge scolded, while Lance laughed and pumped his fist. 

 

“Yes! Hunk, my man!” Lance threw an arm around his shoulders. 

 

Once Hunk began explaining why they should go it wasn’t long before Pidge agreed. Then, when it was three against one Keith knew that he had no chance. He had given in with the condition that when he wanted to leave he could. Lance had agreed although he really had no intention of letting the shorter boy leave early. 

 

That led them to this point, where Keith leaned his head against the headrest and groaned. His stomach was turning at the very thought of how social he would have to be tonight. He rested his hand on the book he had snuck into Lance’s car, just in case. 

 

Lance laughed, “Keith! Calm down, it’s a party. You act like I’m taking you to be executed!” 

 

“Death would be better,” he groaned again, earning a quick shove from Lance and a snort from Pidge in the back seat. 

 

“And, we’re here,” Lance announced as they pulled up to the house, no,  _ mansion _ , that Lance’s friend Cody lived in. 

 

“What the shit!” Keith exclaimed as he stared up at the towering building above him. 

 

“Told you it would be a big party!” Lance reassured him, only succeeding in making Keith more nervous. 

 

They got out of the car and Keith found himself gripping onto Lance’s blue plaid. Lance looked down at him and smiled lightly. “Relax! I will be right next to you!” Keith took a deep breath, and they entered the frenzy. 

 

As soon as they walked in, Lance was acknowledged. His friend Cody, who was already hammered, hollered at the top of his lungs when Lance arrived, causing a quick laugh from Lance and then they were in. 

 

They stayed together at the beginning, but as the party went on they became separated. Hunk had found some of his other friends and he was talking with them and Pidge had started talking to the DJ about his equipment. It left Lance and Keith alone, standing at the edge of the room with a few of Lance’s friends. 

 

About twenty minutes into the party, Nyma showed up with Rolo following closely behind. 

 

Lance choked a bit on his drink when he saw her. “Nyma! I thought you couldn’t come!” He exclaimed with an odd squeak in his voice. 

 

“Change of plans,” she smiled, “I thought you weren’t coming either.” 

 

“My thing was cancelled,” he smiled back. Keith rolled his eyes, knowing quite well that Lance had no ‘thing’ this weekend. 

 

“Oh! Well, great! Want some punch?” She asked and then left with Rolo towards the punch bowl when he nodded in confirmation. 

 

As the night went on, Lance was getting more and more delirious from the spiked punch. Everytime he talked to Nyma he drank more and more punch until he was completely wasted. This brought him away from Keith and onto the dance floor. He was dancing in the big group for a while, leaving Keith to watch from a chair on the side of the room. Keith was kind of relieved to have a break, as Lance’s friends left once he did. His eyes were glued to Lance, and while he hadn’t had as much to drink as Lance, he was still slightly tipsy, causing him to stare a bit more blatantly than usual. He glanced away for a moment and caught Rolo’s eye from across the room. Their breakup had been relatively clean, but there was still a sad glint in his eyes. Keith couldn’t stand to see him like that so he averted his eyes quickly and stared at the ground. When he looked back up, Lance had begun to approach him and he held his arms out. 

 

“Come on, Keithy boy!” Lance exclaimed, clearly drunk off his ass. “Dance with me!” 

 

Keith shook his head but Lance wasn’t taking no for an answer. He pulled Keith off of his chair and onto the floor with him. 

 

“Lance, I can’t dance,” Keith grunted, trying to step in time to the beat. 

 

Lance put a finger on his lips, telling him to ‘shush’. “Just follow my lead,” Lance slurred. 

 

He pulled the shorter boy close and began to move, hips shifting to the rhythm of the music. Keith closed his eyes and just moved and everything around him was  _ Lance. _ Lance’s breath on his neck, hot and reeking of alcohol. Lance’s body on his, until they were so close that they were practically melting into each other. Lance’s arms were on his waist, guiding him along, and he forgot about anyone else in that room. He didn’t care what anyone thought or what anyone saw. He let himself go and just followed Lance’s lead, looking up at Lance’s drunken, half-lidded dark blue eyes until all that he saw was Lance. He didn’t think about the fact that Lance was too drunk to really understand what was going on. He didn’t think about the fact that this was only making his feelings for Lance grow. He didn’t notice that Nyma and Rolo had begun to dance close by and the two pairs were almost having a dance off. Everyone’s eyes were on them, but the two boys could only see each other. Then there was a break in the music and Keith realized what was happening and stepped away, pushing Lance’s hands off of his hips. His eyes were wide, and he looked over to see Nyma storming out of the crowd, Rolo in tow. 

 

Lance was, of course, oblivious to his surroundings and stumbled towards the punch bowl. Keith ran to him, leading him away. 

 

“I think that you have had enough to drink,” Keith muttered. 

 

Lance giggled and wrapped an arm around the shorter boy. “Oh, Keith. Always.. Taking care of me,” he slurred, stumbling a bit. Keith led him out onto the patio, with great difficulty, explaining that Lance needed some fresh air. Lance closed his eyes and took a deep breath once they were out in the cool spring air. “You’re- you’re right,” he slurred, hiccuping in the middle of words, “the fresh air is nice.” 

 

Keith sighed and looked out at the city below. Lance’s friend was very rich, and lived up on the peak of one of California’s many rolling hills. He looked out as the lights of their small city slowly flickered off. There was a glow remaining from the fast food restaurants and the convenience stores that never close, but it was a comforting glow. It reminded him of the nights that he couldn’t sleep, where he would sit at his window and draw, the lights from the city seeping through his windows and onto his hands as he worked. However, the constant, soft noise of a chaotic city at night was missing at this altitude. All he could hear were the branches of the trees rustling around them and the music pounding behind the closed doors. 

 

“Keith!” Lance said, tapping his shoulder and effectively breaking him out of his thoughts. 

 

“Hmm?” Keith responded, glancing over to where Lance leaning against the railing and turned towards them. 

 

“I was asking what you were thinking about,” At this moment he moved in closer so that their arms were touching. Keith’s heart hadn’t stopped racing from their little dance break, and this didn’t help. 

 

He cleared his throat and tried to think of anything except for the body that was just pressed up against his own. The body that had a girlfriend who he had been dating for three years, regardless of the fact that he clearly didn’t like her anymore. The body that belonged to the boy that he was in love with. The love that was unrequited. He tried to take a step away but he couldn’t. He was selfish, and just couldn’t make himself put the welfare of his friend’s relationship before his own desires. It made him sick. 

 

“Umm, I was just thinking about the sounds of the city. It’s so quiet up here,” He made the mistake then of looking over at Lance. Lance’s eyes were big and his face was so close to Keith’s. Now that they had made eye contact, he couldn’t look away. 

 

“It is,” Lance said looking away for a moment, “but the glow is still there.” He looked back at Keith, who’s heart was racing, stomach churning. It was like Lance had read his mind. 

 

“Yeah,” Keith whispered softly. They stared at eachother like that for a few more moments until Lance’s eyes flicked down to Keith’s mouth. Keith’s eyes widened, and then Lance was leaning in, and everything in Keith’s subconscious was screaming,  _ No! Don’t do this, don’t wreck this. Girlfriend! Girlfriend! GIRLFRIEND! _

 

He ignored it. Lance’s hands were on his waist again, pulling him closer. Keith gripped Lance’s shirt and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. For the second time, everything was Lance, and only Lance. All he felt, heard, saw, smelled, tasted was Lance. He couldn’t get enough of it. Lance pushed him up against the railing and his hands were under Keith’s shirt on his waist. 

 

After a few moments, more than there should’ve been, the alarm went off in Keith’s head again and he listened. There were so many things wrong with this situation. He pulled away, pushing Lance’s hands off of him and taking a few steps further just for good measure. He gulped in a deep breath and started to panic. 

 

Lance had a  _ girlfriend! _ A serious girlfriend. Furthermore, Lance was drunk off his ass. He probably didn’t even know what he was doing. It wasn’t fair to him to do any more. Keith turned back, and Lance hadn’t moved an inch from where Keith had pushed him. His eyes were still closed, but his eyebrows were raised. Keith didn’t know what that meant. He decided he didn’t want to know. 

 

He cleared his throat, “Um, you’re pretty wasted, we should probably get you home.” 

 

Lance nodded and opened his eyes, seemingly back to his drunken, bubbly self. “I’m going to go say goodbye, I will meet you out front.” He said and then walked away, pausing in the doorway to tell Keith that he would also get Hunk and Pidge. 

 

Keith went around the side, unable to face anyone. While he walked he saw a couple, on the verge of being completely naked on the side of the house. 

 

“Get a room,” he growled at them, “There are literally countle-” He stopped when the girl turned around to face him. 

 

It was Nyma. Her shirt was off and Rolo’s hands were on her waist. His face and neck were covered in lip marks that matched her lipstick. 

 

“What the hell! You bitch! Lance is way too good for you, you don’t even deserve him and here you are cheating on him! What is wrong with you?!” Keith yelled, he began to call for Lance, but Nyma sprung on him, wrapping a hand over his mouth. 

 

“If you know what’s good for you, you will shut up,” She threatened. He bit her hand. 

 

“I’m not afraid of you,” he growled right back and she smirked. 

 

“Well you should be. If you don’t keep this to yourself, I will tell Lance that you are making it up because you are in love with him and you have been since I’ve known you. I will tell him that you dated Rolo to make him jealous. I will tell him that you are an obsessive freak who just couldn’t face the fact that  _ he wasn’t interested. _ ” Nyma sneered, “And he will believe me. And you will lose him again.” 

 

Keith took a step backwards and began to breathe rapidly. He didn’t know what to do. He was trapped. All he knew,  _ all he knew _ , was that he couldn’t lose Lance. Not again. 

 

He shook his head and walked away from them. When he was almost to the front of the house, he felt a hand on his back. He turned and, after just barely registering the face as Rolo, socked him in the face, causing him to fall backwards. 

 

“What the hell man?!” Rolo cried indignantly. “I’m only doing this for you.” 

 

Keith’s eyes widened. “What do you m-” 

 

His question was cut off by Lance calling his name from the car. He turned to look, remembering that he had taken Lance’s keys after he started drinking. He looked back at Rolo and sighed, walking away. 

 

“What was that about?” Lance asked him once he got back to the car. 

 

Keith paused as he turned the key into the ignition, a war going on inside his brain. “Nothing,” he mumbled and was silent for the rest of the car ride home.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

 

After getting Lance settled in bed, Keith was restless. He had so much to think about, he couldn’t sit, much less sleep. He grabbed his skateboard, the motorcycle’s suspensions were still fucked up. He stared ahead of him, mind blank, relying on muscle memory to take him wherever. He ended up in front of Altean Eatery, which closed at midnight. He checked his phone, it was eleven fifty-six but he needed someone to talk to. 

 

He opened the door, seeing Allura wiping down the tables. 

 

“Keith!” She exclaimed, glancing at the clock on the wall. “It’s awfully late. What are you doing out?” 

 

“I need to talk to someone,” he said collapsing into one of the vinyl booths. 

 

She set down her rag and went to turn the sign to  _ CLOSED  _ before taking a seat across from him. 

 

“Judging from what your brother has told me, this is a rare occurrence,” she smiled lightly at him, “What’s up?” 

 

He looked down at his glove-clad hands. “I’m a bad person. I don’t know what to do.” 

 

She put a hand out and laid it on his. “Keith. I don’t even know you that well, but it is obvious that you are a  _ good person. _ What happened?” 

 

He glanced up at her and then back at his hands. “You can’t tell anyone. It is kind of a long story, so I will give you the basics… I have this friend and he is dating this girl who is no good for him. Tonight I was at a party with him, and he kissed me and then when I went to my motorcycle to drive him home.. I saw his girlfriend kissing another guy.” He sniffled, eyes watering. “And I didn’t tell him. Because she told me that if I told him that she would tell him that I liked him and I don’t want to lose him. But I’m being a terrible friend by not telling him because that is what friends do. I have to put my friendship over my feelings and I tried, but I can’t.” He gasped, saying it all in one breath. “I.. I can’t because I am a terrible person.” 

 

Allura squeezed his hand, “Oh, sweetheart. It isn’t because you’re a bad person, it is because you’re  _ human. _ Trust me when I say this, people make mistakes everyday, but those mistakes do not define you.” 

 

With that, Keith broke down crying, pulling his hands out of her grasp to put his head in them. He heard shuffling and then soon her arm was around his shoulders, rubbing his arm. 

 

Once he quelled his tears, for the most part, he sat up and looked up at her. “Thank you,” he whispered and she pulled him into a hug. 

 

“So, now that I’ve told you something, tell me something,” he said, clearing his throat. “You said you’ve been talking to my brother?” 

 

She laughed and shook her head. “Yes, we have been texting for awhile now. Your brother is a great man.” 

 

Keith wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed again, this one short, as if she was surprised. She shook her head again and pushed a lock of silvery hair behind her ear. “Your brother deserves the world. I’m sure you know that.” With this she got up and continued to wash tables. 

 

He got up after, followed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Then give it to him,” he said and then started towards the door, “Thanks again, Allura. I’ll see you later.” He grabbed his skateboard and walked out of the door, hearing a faint goodbye behind him. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Keith glared at the board, his face contemplative. The offending object was a poster put up by student council. 

VOLTRON HIGH 2013  PROM! 

Saturday, May 14th, tickets on sale now!

 

‘What’s up, loser?” A familiar voice came from behind Keith, shaking him out of his one sided staring contest with the poster. An elbow was placed on his shoulder, Lance leaning against it. Keith shrugged him off with a grunt. 

 

“What do you want.” He snapped, shoving his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and starting to walk to class. 

 

“You were staring at the poster. Thinking about going?” The other boy asked, impervious to Keith’s attitude. 

 

“No.” 

 

“Oh my god, you’re gonna ask someone, aren’t you?” Lance squealed. 

 

“What? No! What the hell. Where did you get that from?” Keith growled in protest and approached his classroom, trying to escape Lance’s probing questions. 

 

“You liiiike someone!” Lance crowed and Keith opened the door to his English class. 

 

“I don’t, now just leave me alone!” Keith snapped and stormed into the classroom, running into someone and losing his balance. A hand grabbed his elbow, stopping his fall and Keith looked up. 

 

“Easy there.” A large smile formed on the boy in front of Keith. If Keith remembered correctly, his name was Jackson, he sat at the desk behind Keith in this class. He was also undeniably attractive. He had a brunette undercut, although the top of his head was donned with curly brown hair. Keith had talked to him a lot, seeing as he was the only person around Keith’s desk that wasn’t a complete fucker. 

 

“Sorry.” Keith apologized, making his way to his desk, Jackson in tow. 

 

“Hey, you okay? You seemed pretty pissed off at that dude outside the door.” The other boy asked, concern showing in his voice. 

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. My friend was just being a shit.” Keith explained and the other boy smiled, sitting down. 

 

“Yeah, friends tend to do that. Did you finish the assignment?” Jackson asked, pulling out a folder and the book they were reading in class,  _ The Great Gatsby _ . 

 

“Yeah, although I was kind of confused on question ten.” Keith said, getting out his own materials. 

 

“I didn’t know about that one either. Here’s what I wrote.” They continued to talk until the teacher came in, and Keith had to turn around. He couldn’t help but smile. It was hard for him to make friends, and other than his original friend group, he didn’t have any. He snuck a glance at Jackson who winked at him and continued to copy what was on the board. Maybe Jackson could be a new friend. He’d like that, Keith realized as he wrote the warm up down. A hand slipped onto his desk, leaving a small piece of paper. He’d like that a lot. 

 

_ Want to go out sometime? I know this amazing malt shop a few blocks away.  _

 

As Keith read the note he felt heat rise in his neck and he flipped it over to write his response. He paused, his pencil hovering over the paper. It felt like he was cheating on Lance, but that was stupid. He’d never have Lance; Lance would never want him. But here was someone who did. Keith deserved to be happy, right? He took a deep breath and scribbled a brief response.  

 

_ Sounds good! When? _

 

He slipped it behind him and tried not to fidget as he waited for a response. 

 

_ Friday night? I could pick you up.  _

 

Keith let out the breath he’d been holding and grinned. 

 

_ Sounds perfect. Text me at 714-xxx-xxxx  _

 

Keith felt awkward about the last note, but he was happy, and Jackson was a nice guy. He’d have fun at least, if nothing else. Besides, this could lead to something serious. He let his thoughts go and focused on the board in the front of the room.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

_ Hey! Would 6:30 work?  _

 

Lance stared at Keith’s phone before saying something. He’d been using it to answer Keith’s snapchats when the text popped up. 

 

“What’s this? Did our little Keithers get a date?” Lance asked incredulously, after recovering from the surprise. 

 

“What?” Keith asked, grabbing for his phone. Lance watched as his face turned crimson as he looked at the text. 

 

“Oh my god, who is it?” Lance asked, and Pidge grinned. 

 

“Is it Quinn from history? Oh, I bet it is! Did he finally ask you out? He’s been talking about doing it for pretty much the whole year, bu-” 

 

“Drop it, Pidge.” Keith snapped, interrupting their rambling. 

 

“Oh, it so is.” They respond and Keith sighed. 

 

“It’s not, okay? Now leave my love life alone!” He grumbled, shoving his phone into his backpack. 

 

“So it is a date!” Lance grinned triumphantly and Keith burned with embarrassment. 

 

“I hate you guys.” Lance watched as Keith discreetly checked his phone, and smirked as the raven haired boy typed out a response. 

 

“Look, if you’re gonna text Romeo, you might as well do it in front of everyone. No one will judge, no matter how much you’re blushing.” Lance smirked at Keith’s infuriated look.

 

“That reference doesn’t even make sense! Which you would now if you actually read the book in ninth grade, and didn’t just Spark Notes the whole thing!” Keith snapped, although Lance noted that he did indeed bring his phone above table to continue his reply. 

 

“The book was stupid! You know I hate Shakespeare, it’s not even relevant anymore!” Lance groaned, knowing it would piss Keith off. He secretly enjoyed the boy’s attention shifting to him as he set his phone down in anger.

 

“Excuse me? Shakespeare is too still relevant! Have you never read King Lear? You could learn a thing or two about humbleness!” Keith snapped and Lance grinned at how worked up the other boy got. 

 

“Sounds like another waste of trees to me.” Lance responded, his smirk growing as Keith restrained himself from lunging across the table to strangle him. 

 

“Stop arguing! You two are such losers! Why do I hang out with you?” Pidge groaned from their position at the edge of the booth. 

 

“Cause you love us.” Lance responded and Pidge rubbed their temples. 

 

“Yes, but why?” They complained and Lance grinned. His gaze shifted to the third party at their table, who was currently concentrating on his phone, his bangs falling and covering his face. Lance could see the small smile that spread across his face. It caused Lance’s stomach to flutter in weird ways, leaving behind a feeling of disappointment. His stomach flipped as Keith laughed softly, smiling fondly at his phone.    
  
Lance felt weird watching, so he distracted himself by grabbing his own phone. The only new message was from his mother, scolding him for not cleaning his room. It left him feeling oddly empty. The last text he’d gotten from Nyma was a week ago, cancelling their scheduled date. He hadn’t seen her in a while, and the last date they’d gone on was a month ago. It was like they were in a middle school relationship, “dating” for the sake of saying they were. It used to work for them, using each other to climb the status hierarchy, but it felt like now it was all just fake. All that was left of their relationship was an empty shell. And Lance was oddly okay with that. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

The week passed quickly, and Lance was overjoyed when Friday came. He drove home from school, tossed his backpack in his room and grabbed his laptop. It’d been a long week, and Lance was more than happy to spend the day with Netflix and tea. He lost himself in rewatching a few episodes of  _ How I Met Your Mother  _ before looking out the window at the fading sky. His skin felt restless. It had been so long since he’d done something with anyone, Nyma ignoring him and his friends were always busy. 

 

With a huff, Lance moved his laptop and grabbed his phone. 

 

_ Pidgeon. Want to go for some food? I’m bored _

 

The response came instantly. 

 

_ Only if you’re paying. Pick me up in five min _

 

Lance grinned and grabbed his wallet and hopped in his Jeep. The drive to Pidge’s house was short, just enough time to play his current favorite song,  _ Thrift Shop _ . He tapped his fingers along to the beat and pulled into the driveway.

 

“We both know why you called me.” Pidge smirked and Lance groaned. “You don’t want to be all alone while Keith is out on a date.” Lance opened his mouth in protest before Pidge held up a hand and interrupted him. “It’s not my place to judge you and your issues with feelings. Or even if you don’t have any. I don’t really care either way and it’s up to you to figure it out for yourself. So, don’t talk to me about it tonight, and don’t drag me into it.” Lance’s eyes grew big as he looked over at the smaller teen. “And while you’re at it, turn off this goddamn song!” they snapped. 

 

“Okay, then, no more talk about Keith. How about a burger?” Lance asked, already driving towards his favorite place. He’d found it a while ago, while waiting for his brother to finish soccer. He needed food, and the place was in the area. It was probably some of the best burgers and shakes he’d ever had. As they pulled into the parking lot, Lance finally turned the song down. 

 

When they entered the restaurant, Lance held the door for Pidge, pausing to look around. His eyes caught on familiar, shaggy raven hair. The boy was smiling, his dark eyes lit up with amusement. For a second, a piece of Lance wished Keith was looking at him like that. Pidge hadn’t seen Keith yet, and grabbed Lance’s arm, dragging him off to a corner. Lance stilled for a second before changing the pair’s direction. 

 

“Let’s sit over here. Great view of the street.” Lance lied, grabbing the chair with the view of Keith. Pidge looked slightly confused, but didn’t push it to Lance’s appreciation. The waitress came, and they ordered some drinks before Pidge started complaining about their history class. 

 

“Everyone is so dumb! I swear, they’re either dumbasses or nerds.” They whined and Lance smirked.

 

“Full offense, but I don’t think you can be a judge if someone is a nerd. You skipped school for a week, claiming you were sick, to build a computer.” They rolled their eyes at Lance’s comment before opening their mouth to argue. “Don’t make me remind you about when you wouldn’t leave your house for two weeks during the summer because you  _ had  _ to find out how to hack the pentagon.” 

 

“Yeah, well!” They said, grasping at straws. 

 

“Two weeks, Pidge. And the goddamn pentagon!”

 

“I was so close, too.” Pidge sighed, their fingers fiddling with a napkin. 

 

“Admit it. You’re a nerd.” Lance gloated to the other teen. 

 

“Maybe a little bit.” They admitted, huffing slightly. Lance’s eyes flicked over to the booth across from them, where Keith was currently residing. The other boy was laughing again, and talking animatedly, his hands moving rapidly, trying to keep up with his words. 

 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Lance muttered and stood up. As he made his way over to the restrooms, he paused to look at the booth. He knew Keith was on a date. All he wanted to know was with who. The view from in front of the men’s room door gave him a side view of the booth, clearly displaying the two. Keith was still talking, occasionally taking sips of his soda. A little part of Lance smiled as he remembered that Keith was lactose intolerant. Amusing memories of when they were younger rose in Lance’s mind as he remembered Keith’s ‘lactose awakening.’ 

 

“Excuse me, are you waiting?” Someone’s voice caused him to snap out of it and he smiled at the little boy behind him. 

 

“No, it’s totally fine. You can go first!” He replied and the little boy smiled and rushed inside. As he had to wait anyways, Lance looked back at the booth, focusing this time on Keith’s date. He was tall, a little taller than Lance, the indignant boy noticed. He had a nice face, a square jaw and slightly crooked smile. Keith was lucky. No, his date was. Anyone who was able to date the great Keith Kogane was the luckiest person in the damn world. 

 

“There you go!” The little boy scared Lance yet again as he exited the bathroom. Lance walked inside and leaned against the wall. He pulled his phone out and noticed a few new texts from Nyma. 

 

_ You are asking me to prom, right?  _

 

He rolled his eyes at that, of course he was going to. They were dating after all. 

 

_ I expect a poster and everything. I’m worth it.  _

 

Lance noticed the humility, or lack thereof. 

 

_ Aren’t you going to respond? What are you even doing?  _

 

Lance quickly shot back a reply, explaining that he was out with Pidge. With that, he exited the bathroom and made a beeline for their table, using all his willpower not to look at the booth in the corner. 

 

“You’re back.” Pidge commented, their voice monotonous. “I thought you’d climbed out the window.”

 

“You wish.” Lance joked and took a sip of his milkshake. “Nah, there was a line.” He explained. As Pidge started a one sided conversation, Lance zoned out, eyes drifting back to the booth. The couple were leaned close together, Keith’s eyes looking daring and dangerous. An audacious smirk was plastered across his face, and Lance watched as the raven haired boy darted forward and grabbed one of the other boy’s fries. Keith laughed and Lance assumed the other boy protested, although he couldn’t see his face. 

 

“Are you even listening?” Pidge asked, voice bored, but slightly insulted. Lance looked up at immediately felt bad. 

 

“Sorry. I’m just out of it.” He responded and the smaller teen sighed.    
  
“Okay, that’s it. We’re leaving.” They announced, waving the waitress over. Pidge looked at Lance expectantly and the boy in question sighed, pulling out his wallet. He handed the waitress the money and the two friends stood up, making their way out of the restaurant. As they got to the car, Pidge buckled their seat belt and turned to Lance. “You know I saw him in there, right?” 

 

“Huh?” Lance asked, even though he knew what they meant. 

 

“Keith. I saw him in there. I already told you, I don’t care what is going on with you two. Just,” PIdge paused, their voice caught for a second. “Just make sure you don’t get hurt. Either of you.” 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Lance couldn’t wait for tonight. He wasn’t able to go to prom last year because of a family reunion, so this year was his last, and only chance. He was going to make tonight the best night of his life. Nyma had hired a limo which was supposed to pick them up at 7:00, and then drive them to an afterparty, where it would drive them home around 2:00. 

 

“You look very handsome, mi hijo.” Lance jumped at the sound of his mother’s voice. 

 

“Gracias, mamá.” He responded, blush spreading up his neck. He was wearing a black vest with a white undershirt and blue tie. On top of that, he wore a black suit jacket and and black slacks, topped of with his brother’s old dress shoes. He didn’t want to waste too much money on a suit he’d only use for one night, so his brother found a friend about Lance’s size who lent him a suit. 

 

“When is the limo coming?” His mother asked and Lance checked his phone. 

 

“Crap! In five minutes!” Lance exclaimed and rushed past his mom to the entryway. He checked his hair in the mirror one last time and checked his pockets. He slipped his phone into the front pocket of his pants and felt around for a small foil package, just in case. The limo pulled up in front and Lance’s pulse quickened. “It’s time!”    
  


“Wait!” His mother called, rushing down the stairs. “I need photos!” 

 

“But Nyma isn’t here.” Lance protested, thinking back to a few days ago when she announced he would pick her up, and she said she wouldn’t come for photos at Lance’s house. It was too “immature” for her. 

 

“Honey, I know, but you look so grown up and I want a photo! With or without Nyma.” Lance tried his best not to notice the resentment in his mom’s voice when she said Nyma’s name. 

 

After about a dozen photos taken in the front yard, Lance finally climbed into the car. The backseat was dark leather, cool to the touch. As the car pulled away, Lance noticed the Shirogane’s front door open. He thought Keith wasn’t going, although maybe he’d changed his mind. 

  
The limo pulled in front of Nyma’s mini mansion and stopped at the front door. Lance climbed out, jogging to the door to collect Nyma. He knocked on the door, and waited, buttoning his jacket. He felt trapped, the suit making everything feel stuffy. The full suit wasn’t his idea, he would have been fine with just a dress shirt and a tie, but Nyma insisted he looked “presentable.” It’d taken a lot of exertion to get her to agree with the second hand suit. After a debate about whether or not somebody else’s suit was acceptable to wear to “such a big event,” she shut up after Lance stated that if she had so many issues with it, she could buy him a new one. Apparently, a boyfriend was supposed to be able to afford to drop money on a brand new suit at the request of his girlfriend. Lance let out a frustrated sigh and knocked again, the door finally opening. 

 

“Mom! Shut up for once in your life! I don’t want you to take any photos! They have someone there to do it who actually knows how to use a camera!” Nyma snapped at her mother and turned to face Lance. “Let’s go.” She growled and marched to the limo. She’d chosen a sweetheart neckline two piece blue dress, to match Lance’s tie. The top was bejeweled and the bottom was a full length chiffon skirt with a long slit on the side. The skirt fluttered behind her like a threatening gust of wind, the kind just before a storm, as she stomped her black stilettos down to the car. 

 

“You look great.” Lance mustered and slipped into the car, Nyma beside him. 

 

“I know. You could’ve said that earlier, you know.” She responded, a little annoyed. Lance sighed as she pulled out her phone and started flipping through photos. The rest of the ride was silent until they pulled up to the convention center. Nyma led the way out of the car, barely waiting for Lance to follow. 

 

The inside of the convention center covered in decorations, loosely tying to the “under the sea” theme. The ceiling was draped with blue fabric, arches of blue and white balloons framing the entryway. There were tables set up with food, piles of sea decorations in the middle. Lance wasn’t able to actually appreciate the decorations, as Nyma dragged him away, over to a group of her friends. 

 

“You look gorgeous!” One of her friend’s squealed and wrapped her arms around Nyma. 

 

“So do you! Loving the heels!” Nyma responded, although Lance could tell she meant the opposite of what she had said. Lance barely listened as the rest of her friends weighed in their opinions. Lance looked around, his eyes landing on the familiar shape of one of his closest friends. 

 

“I’ll be right back.” Lance muttered to Nyma, although the other continued her conversation, not sparing him so much as a glance. Lance made his way around the groups of people, beelining for Hunk. The other boy was standing near a girl in their science class, Shay. As Lance drew closer, he saw how flushed the two looked, both awkwardly trying to hold a conversation, and giggling incessantly. 

 

“Hunk!” Lance exclaimed, holding his arms out for a hug. Hunk hugged him back, before turning to introduce him. 

 

“Lance, this is Shay. Shay, this is Lance.” Hunk smiled and Shay shook his hand with a bright grin.    
  
“It’s nice to meet you!” Shay laughed.    
  


“Oh look! Keith and Pidge are here!” Hunk said, waving to the other two. Lance turned away from Shay to look at the incoming two. He saw Pidge, their hand behind their back, clearly dragging someone with them They were dressed in a simple black suit with a green bowtie. As the two came closer, Lance saw Keith behind Pidge. Keith’s hair was growing out, reaching a little past his jawline. He was wearing a black dress shirt, a red tie and black dress pants. He followed behind Pidge, making his way over to Lance and Hunk. 

 

“Lance! Where’s Satan’s mistress?” Pidge asked, but Keith elbowed them hard, and they cleared their throat. “Sorry, I mean, where’s Nyma?” Lance had to bite back a small laugh. 

 

“Uh, she’s talking to some friends. Told her I’d be back in a second.” He explained, and the other nodded. 

  
“So we’ve got you for a little bit, then.” Pidge grinned. 

 

“Well, until she comes looking for me.” Lance responded. The friends continued joking and laughing, and Lance smiled at how natural it felt. He’d never forget how dark and lonely the days without them felt like. Nyma eventually came back over and dragged him to the middle of the dance floor. 

 

“Babe, one of the homecoming votes counters told me that we won, no surprise there.” Nyma laughed. Lance remembered how once her laugh sounded like angelic bells, although now they just sounded like nails on a chalkboard. 

 

“That’s good.” Lance responded, moving as they ran into another couple. They kept dancing for an hour or two, before Lance said he’d take a break. As he sipped whatever drink the school decided should be served, he felt his chest grow tight. “I need some air.” 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Lance found a service door towards the back of the room and stepped out, instantly his chest lightened up. He took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. 

 

“Didn’t expect to see you out here. On the run from a certain demon spawn?” Lance jumped at the voice, turning around to see Keith, a lit cigarette in between his fingers. 

  
“That’ll kill you.” Is all Lance can think to say. Keith smirks at that, looking at the item in question. He kept eye contact with Lance as he took a long, slow drag. 

 

“Hell if I care.” He responded, haughtily. “Seriously, though. What are you doing out here?”    
  


“I couldn’t breath in there. It’s too hot.” Lance said, and leaned against the building next to Keith. 

 

“I get that. I didn’t want to come in the first place, but Pidge can be very persuasive when they have ten years of blackmail material on you.” Lance laughed a little, eyes traveling to the gardens in front of them. 

 

“Yeah, they really can be.” He muttered, his voice distant. 

 

“So, uh, how’s Nyma?” Keith asked, sensing the conversation dying. 

 

“Good. Why does everyone keep asking that?” Lance said, his voice frustrated. “She’s good. We’re good. What else is there?”   
  


“Are you still happy?” Keith asked simply and Lance whirled around to face him.

 

“Of course I am! Why else would I still be dating her? What would even give you the idea that I’m not?” Lance exclaimed loudly.

 

“Your face doesn’t light up when you see her anymore, not like it used to anyway.” Keith stated and Lance felt a lump in his throat form.

 

“Look, we’re just going through a rough patch. Everyone who dates for a long time goes through it. Not like you would know.” Lance explained, feeling bad about the unnecessary jab, but Keith ignored him, seemingly unfazed. 

 

“Whatever. Just make sure you’re happy. And as long as she’s not hurting you, I won’t have any issues.”

 

“She’s not, okay! We’re fine!” Lance all but yelled and Keith held his hands up in surrender. “Just stop asking about her! It’s none of your goddamn business!” Lance himself was confused on why he was reacting so much, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

 

“You’re right, it’s not my business. I was just trying to be a good friend.” Keith snapped and Lance visibly saw his patience fading. 

 

“Well you’re not, okay! You’re not a good friend. You stopped being one when you saw you had competition with my  _ girlfriend.  _ I’m sorry you have this weird needy thing where you have to be the most important person in everybody's lives! I’m sorry that Nyma is more important to me! Why do you always need to have everyone’s attention? You’re like a little kid!” Lance knew half the stuff he was saying wasn’t true, but right now he needed to get a rise out of the other boy. With every word Lance said he’d get more worked up and he just wanted confrontation. 

 

“Lance, stop it! I’m sorry, but she isn’t good for you, Lance! Look at how you’ve been acting! You  _ left  _ us for two years! Two years Lance! The Lance  _ I _ know would never do that. The Lance I know would never hurt his friends.”   
  


“Then I guess you don’t know me very well.” Lance replied, sadly. 

 

“The Lance I know wouldn’t stay in a relationship when it was hurting him and his friends.” Keith continued, acting like Lance hadn’t said a word. “Not unless he thought it was the best thing for other people, so let me ask you, Lance. How is being in a relationship with a cheating girlfriend? How  _ does _ that make you feel?” Keith never raised his voice, and it scared Lance more than anything. 

 

“She’s not cheating!” Lance shouted, his voice loud and broken. He took a deep breath and tried his best to lower his voice. “She’s not cheating.” He repeated. 

 

“Lance…” Keith said, his voice concerned and low. It made Lance hate him. He didn’t want to be pitied. “I wouldn’t say if it wasn’t true. I saw her… with Rolo.” Lance’s heart dropped out of his chest and his head throbbed. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.” 

 

“No.” Lance started, his voice breaking. “No, that didn’t happen!” Lance snapped, his eyes narrowing in fury.

 

“Lance, I’m sorry.” Keith said and all Lance wanted to do was punch him. 

 

“Shut up! Just shut up!” Lance shouted at the other boy. He knew some part of what Keith said was true, but he couldn’t admit it, to himself or aloud. Nyma was his past four years, it was his whole life. She was supposed to be his future. Sure, he’d had his suspicions and doubts, but Lance didn’t want to ruin it. And now his old best friend was telling him the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. Especially not from Keith, the boy with emotions swirling around him that Lance couldn’t even begin to figure out. Keith, who was standing there, his eyes soft with pity. 

 

“Lance…” Keith said, his voice still soft. 

 

“Stop it! Just shut the fuck up!” Lance grit his teeth. Why was he acting like this? He didn’t know, but everytime he looked at Keith, a raging storm inside his chest hurtled against his ribcage and all he felt was fury. He took a deep breath and looked around the dark street. “Nyma didn’t cheat. You probably didn’t see correctly.” He explained and turned to go back into the convention center. 

 

“Lance, I didn’t see wrong. It was her, she was shirtless and they were making out. Lance, I’m not wrong, and you know that.” Keith said, and Lance couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go back in, not now, and not with this on his mind. “Lance, you know I’m right.” Lance lost his cool and spun around, facing Keith. He didn’t think as he threw his fist towards the other boy. Not expecting it, Lance hit the other boy in the jaw. He emitted a loud noise of surprise before Lance let out a shriek, clutching his hand close to his chest. Lance didn’t have time to realize the pain when he was tackled, hitting the ground hard, Keith on top of him. The back of Lance’s skull stung, but he couldn’t think about that right now. 

 

Keith was staring at him, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes filled with an emotion that Lance couldn’t place. His fist was raised, although he seemed in no rush to land a punch. Lance stared up at his old friend, his head stinging and hand burning.    
  


“I’m sorry.” It’s so quiet, Lance could barely hear it. Keith’s face looked downcasted, although Lance wasn’t quite sure what the other boy was feeling. “I’m so sorry.” Keith abruptly stood up, giving Lance the ability to breathe again. Lance watched him go before slowly sitting up. His head throbbed and his fist hurt terribly. Ignoring the pain, Lance made his way back into the convention center. Hunk and Pidge rushed to his side immediately as he walked in the door.  

 

“Where the hell have you been?” Pidge snapped, and Hunk shushed them. 

 

“We were worried. The coronation is in three minutes!” Hunk added, his voice softer. “We all know you’re going to win, so go over there! You’re on the opposite side of the room!” Lance smiled softly at the over exaggerated concern in his friend’s voice. 

 

“I’m going.” Lance muttered, but he didn’t move. The thought of going and standing on the stage with Nyma as his homecoming queen made him want to throw up. He swallowed his feelings and stood near the front of the crowd as the principal made her way on stage. 

 

“I hope everyone is enjoying this year’s prom!” She asked, receiving a chorus of shouts and clapping. She smiled at the audience and pulled out a slip of paper. “I don't want to keep you from your fun for too long, so let's get this over with!” She brandished the envelope and pulled a poet out. “This years prom king is…” the principal paused for the effect. “Lance McClain!” 

 

Lance smiled, releasing the small breath he'd been holding, although his lungs still felt like they were being crushed.  He waved at the crowd and made his way to the stage to accept his crown and scepter. 

 

“And the prom queen is,” Again the principle paused for the effect. Lance hoped it'd be anyone but Nyma. He didn't want to stand up there in the first place and standing up there with Nyma made him want to puke. “Nyma!” Lance’s stomach clenched as his girlfriend made her way up to the stage. She was all smiles, although when she looked at Lance her cheery attitude never reached her eyes. Nyma was handed her tiara and said a small thank you to everyone. A few moments later, the newly appointed prom royalty handed off their trinkets to do the customary couples dance for prom king and queen. 

 

Lance set his hands lightly on her waist, barely touching her skin. Nyma draped her arms around his neck, eyes glaring up at him. He knew how awkward they probably looked, but at the moment he didn't care. The sooner it was over the sooner Lance could leave. 

 

“Why the hell did you leave me.” Nyma asked, voice quiet and deadly. 

 

“I told you. I needed air.” He responded and her glare grew more severe. 

 

“Really? You needed air for a half an hour?” She snapped and Lance couldn't find it inside himself to be nice. 

 

“You cheated. You cheated on me with Rolo when I was drunk. You used me to elevate your status. You made me isolate myself from my friends. You were verbally abusive to me for three years, Nyma. Yeah. I needed some air.” She raised an eyebrow, mouth falling open a bit in surprise. “You know, I wanted to leave. I was going to. I was standing outside the door and I could've just left. Do you want to know why I didn't? Because I care about you. Even though you are a terrible human being, even though you ruined my life, I couldn't find it within myself to be mad at you. I forced myself to come back in and walk up on that stage, so you could have your dream prom night.” At this point, the couple stopped dancing, the distance between them increasing. “I hope to God you enjoyed it because I just realized that I wasted my entire high school experience waiting for you to tell me if I could do something or not. Goodbye, Nyma.” That was all Lance could muster as he forced himself to walk away from the girl, right as the song ended. He forced himself to keep walking, past the coat check and into the lobby, where he called an Uber. He just wanted to go home. 

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Keith took off his headphones for a moment, feeling the need to devour an entire carton of ice cream even though he was lactose intolerant. 

 

He had arrived at his house around forty minutes ago and sprinted to his room. His parents followed and knocked on his door for five minutes straight before getting the memo that he wasn’t going to open it. He had flopped on his bed, too many things running through his head for him to think straight. It was like white noise was surrounding him and he couldn’t hear any words. Emotions clouded his vision, but they were all mixing together to the point where he couldn’t tell where the fury ended and the disappointment started. He had lost Lance again, that was all that he could pick out of the mess of words clogging his veins. Tears streamed down his face even though he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. After about ten minutes of that he had turned his music the loudest that it could go and put on headphones, determined to drown out the white noise. That left him where he was now, feeling hollow and anchorless, as if gravity wasn’t affecting him. He didn’t like that feeling. 

 

When he opened his door, his parents were sitting along the wall of the hallway, like they were waiting for him to eventually emerge. His mother set down her phone, looking up at him with a concerned frown on her aged features. His dad pushed off of the wall where he was leaning and made his way towards his youngest son. But, he walked straight past them, unable to form the words that they wanted to hear or the smile that they wanted to see. Instead he ignored them and headed downstairs to the kitchen. He grabbed an unopened tub of cherry garcia ice cream out of his freezer and a spoon. He walked past where his parents were still sitting. His mom said his name, preparing to scold him for the ice cream but he took an unexpected turn into the bathroom. When he walked out, he shook a little package of  _ Lactaid _ at her and went back into his room. He felt his parents eyes on him as he closed the door, but he was having trouble feeling guilt for ignoring them. Deep down, he knew that they cared but at this moment he really couldn’t have cared less. 

 

He collapsed back onto his bed and went to pick up his headphones when he heard a faint thud on his window. He walked to it, opening the shade to see who it was. Lance was on the other side looking terrible. His tie was undone and hanging around his neck loosely, shirt partially untucked and hair messy like he had been running his fingers through it. He held up a piece of paper and quickly began to write on it. Keith didn’t open his window. Lance threw it and it thudded softly against the closed window. Lance made a motion for Keith to open his window, but Keith didn’t move. He stared blankly as Lance picked up another piece of paper and made another airplane. Again, it thudded against the window. Lance looked exasperated. As Lance made more and more, a rumble of thunder shook his house, and it began to rain.  When he moved to make another, Keith reached up at his shade. He could hear Lance yelling his name through the glass but he didn’t care. He couldn’t find something inside of him to care. He closed the blind and went back to his bed. 

 

He left his music off and started the ice cream, listening to the constant pitter patter of the rain and the thuds on his window. As he waited they got slower and slower until they ceased altogether. Keith drifted to sleep with a spoonful of Ben & Jerry’s in his mouth and his feet hanging off of the side of the bed. 

 

~~~~~

 

Keith dreamt of airplanes. In his dream, he was running from something, but he couldn’t tell what. He was running as hard as he could and then suddenly he realized that he wasn’t running away from something, he was chasing something. Lance. He finally caught up and both boys stopped, Keith incapable of getting closer than ten feet to the other boy. He looked down and saw that there was a paper airplane in his hand. He held it out to Lance, but he didn’t take it. Instead, he stared at the ground, to the point where Keith couldn’t see his eyes. Keith glanced down at the paper airplane in his hand for a moment, and when he looked up Lance was gone. In his place was a stack of paper. He walked up to touch it and then sheets of paper rapidly began flying around the room as if from a gust of wind. They began to form paper airplanes which flew towards Keith, surrounding and suffocating him. 

 

He woke up gasping for air, tears streaming down his face. All of the emotions he had been repressing before hit him like a brick wall. He glanced at the ice cream container on his desk, showing that his parents had come in to find him sleeping and moved it. The small gesture made Keith ache and forced the tears out harder and faster. He listened to the rain that was still pouring and thought back to his interaction with Lance just before he fell asleep. He realized that he didn’t know what Lance had written on the airplanes. His heart began to beat quickly and he had to know what they said. He rushed downstairs and out of the house into the driveway between their houses. 

 

“Be right back!” He called to his parents who were sitting in the living room and who stood up when they saw Keith. 

 

He skidded to a stop as he turned the corner and looked at the pile of soaking wet paper under his window. He sprinted to it and searched the papers, but the ink had spread with the water and was illegible now. He was as soaked as the papers now and it was impossible to tell what was rain and what was tears. And he sat there, staring at the papers that were fading into fibers in his calloused hands. He leaned against his house and let the rain hit him. He let it drench him until he could feel the cold in his bones, tearing him apart. 

 

He glanced up at Lance’s window and felt a sort of calm rush over him. He sat in the eye of the hurricane and he didn’t dare move or he would be caught in the current. He knew that he could fix this, and all of the night’s disappointments left him, they no longer burned at his chest. He could fix this. He had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Fun Fact: They call Hunk's mom Tina because it is a Samoan term for mother. In case we didn't explain that!


	7. Everything just takes me back to when you were there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so so so so so so so sorry about how long this took to finish! Strangely enough we are both way busier in the summer than the school year and we couldn't find any time to write! Hope you enjoy!

By the middle of senior year, Lance had cut off all communication with Nyma. He still saw her in the hall, but never spared her a second glance. She’d wasted enough of his time. He spent most of his afternoons hanging out with Hunk, Pidge, and the occasional cryptid that was Keith. He had made varsity for basketball and was even elected captain. Lance felt like he was on top of the world. Even though Keith wasn’t a huge part in his life, he was still there, and for that, Lance was grateful. 

It was early March, the last practice of the year. Lance had just scored the finishing point in their end of practice scrimmage, so he let the boys go a few minutes earlier than usual while he cleaned up. Once everything was returned to its spot, he made his way to the locker room. As he changed out of his uniform, he tuned out the normal buzz of conversation. He opted not to shower today because he was heading straight home anyways and would do it then. Lance grabbed his bag and was just about to leave when he heard a group of juniors next to him talking. 

“I can’t fucking understand why she’d even like him.” One of the taller, dark haired players, David, said, a few of his friends nodding in agreement. 

“Who’re we talking about?” One of his friends asked, approaching the group, hair still wet from a shower. 

“That one dude, Keith.” David replied, agitation clear on his face.

“The one Lucy likes?” His friend asked, a knowing smirk on his face. David nodded with a scowl. Lance stood facing his locker and waited for the conversation to get worse. 

“He’s such a creep. And he thinks he's so much better than everyone just because he drives a fucking motorcycle and smokes.” David complained, his friends murmuring in agreement. Lance shut his locker and approached the boys, his stomach twisting. 

“Hey now. On this team we don’t talk about people like that.” Lance said, aiming for the calm, responsible captain’s approach. 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve listened to you shittalk every single student in senior year.” David scoffed and Lance raised an eyebrow. David was a good player, but he was overconfident and selfish. Lance knew he had his eye on the captain spot for next year. 

“That was harmless, this is offensive and rude,” Lance said, hating that what the other player had said was correct. 

“He’s not hurting anyone, so what’s the big deal?” David’s friend defended and Lance set his bag down on a bench. 

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not okay.” Lance insisted and David huffed in growing frustration. 

“Why are you even defending him? I’m your teammate.” David asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Look, just stop talking about him,” Lance grumbled, grabbing his bag and turning to leave. 

“Oh, fuck off. Just cause you’re a captain doesn’t mean you need to be such a hardass.” Lance sighed and started walking towards the door. “I don’t think I’ve seen you act this serious before. What is your issue with the dude?” David snapped, taking a step towards Lance. He turned towards the team behind him and chuckled, “What, are you gay too?” 

Something deep in Lance’s chest tightened, even though he knew they weren’t serious. He laughed humorlessly. 

“I mean I knew you were a little dramatic, but I didn’t think it was because you were dreaming of broadway,” David snickered, getting some laughs from the team. 

“David,” Lance warned, his chest began to rise and fall more rapidly. He didn’t know why he was so mad. He had been roasted much worse in the past and he just laughed it off. It should be easy for him to laugh it off now. 

“Or are you more of a dress up like a lady kind of gay? Huh, you got some skirts hidden deep in your closet? Does Keith think it’s sexy?” Laughs were erupting all around, and it was clear David was messing around from the look in his eyes. But Lance wasn’t looking in his eyes. 

Lance couldn’t comprehend what was happening, his body moving before his mind did. One thing was crystal clear, though. The sickening sound of a fist against a cheek and the cracking of a bone. When his eyes cleared, David was reeling against a locker, hand clutching at his nose and Lance’s thumb was hanging limply out of its socket. 

“What the fuck, man? I was joking!” David shouted as one of his friends handed him a towel for the blood that was now pooling on his upper lip. He gathered his bag, taking in the gaping faces of his fellow teammates and made his way out the door. It was only when he got to his car that the pain hit him all at once like a freight train. 

As he started his car and began to drive home, his eyes stung with tears, his right hand throbbing, unable to close around the steering wheel due to his obviously broken thumb. He managed to make it back to his house without crying. Lance entered his house, his mother approaching from the kitchen. 

“How was practice?” She asked before seeing his face, Immediately, her arms wrapped around him before holding him away, surveying him. “Oh, hijo, what happened?” She asked, guiding him gently to the couch. He sat mutely for a few minutes before collapsing against his mom, the tears finally falling. 

“Mamá, I’m so sorry.” He murmured, repeating the words as she stroked his hair gently. After calming down slightly, he took a deep breath. “I punched someone. It was stupid and immature, but they said terrible things about Keith!” He took another shaky breath. “I couldn’t just sit there. Mamá, it was terrible things.” 

“Hijo, was this during school?” She asked, her voice worried. He sat up, surprised at her response. 

“No, it was after practice, in the locker room.” He said, wiping his nose softly. 

“Cariño, you may get suspended.” She said, her voice soft. 

“I know, I’m sorry! I just couldn’t stand there.” He explained, tears seeping back into his eyes. 

“I’ll call the school, maybe the fact it was after a school activity and not during the day will help. In the meantime, why don’t you go start dinner?” She asked and Lance nodded, standing up and making his way into the other room. He stopped in the bathroom to grab some athletic tape and carefully wrapped his thumb. 

As he prepared a pasta dish, he could hear his mom on the phone, talking in a hushed voice. The words David had said kept replaying in his brain, making his head hurt. He knew that suspension was likely, and on a college resume, it didn’t look good at all. He’d already applied to a few schools, and as he chopped a tomato, he hoped none of the schools would reject him with the new information. 

The rest of the night was quiet, his mom never mentioning it again. Lance was antsy, wanting to know the extremities of his consequences. Though, she did promise to take him to the doctor tomorrow. After dinner, he went up to his room, closing the door behind him. He just wanted to be alone. Yet, at the same time, he didn’t. 

Before actually thinking his actions through, he grabbed his phone, typing out a quick text and sending it. After a few moments he got his answer with a stone hitting his window. Lance smiled softly and ran down the stairs, exiting the house and rushing to the side in between the McClain’s and the Kogane’s. Keith was standing there, leaning against his house and his arms folded.

“Why am I here?” He asked as Lance approached. Lance wasn’t quite sure why he had decided to text him, but seeing him made everything else feel a little better. 

“I thought you’d find this funny.” He held up his bandage covered thumb. 

“What happened?” Keith asked, his demeanor changing instantly. He walked toward Lance, arms unfolded and reaching out, taking his hand carefully. The dark haired boy gently uncurled Lance’s fingers and moved his hand so he could see his thumb better. 

“I, uh, punched someone.” He said, eyes dropping to the ground. When Keith let out a quiet snort, Lance’s gaze flicked up at the other boys face, which was currently quirked into a smirk. 

“You, Lance McClain, punched someone? This oughtta be good.” Keith said and Lance sighed. 

“Look it doesn’t matter. I just, it hurts. How do I fix it?” He asked and Keith finally let go of his head, taking a step back. 

“Ice it and keep it elevated, above your heart.” He said and Lance nodded gratefully. “Why couldn’t you’ve just texted me about it?”  Keith asked and Lance chewed on his bottom lip, looking for an answer he didn’t have. 

“I don’t know.” He replied, honestly. 

“Okay, well, it’s fucking freezing out. I’m going to go home, I’ll see you later?” Keith asked, and Lance nodded before walking back to his house. “Hey!” Keith shouted, and Lance lifted his head, smiling. “Don’t forget to ice it!” Lance saluted and made his way to his house. Somehow, everything was better when he saw Keith. As Lance walked inside, his phone buzzed. 

How do you not know how to punch?? 

Lance smiled slightly at Keith’s text. It wasn't his fault he’s never had to punch someone. Besides, no one ever bothered to show him, it’s not a skill people normally share. 

Unlike you I don’t get in fights a lot 

Lance sighed, and flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. 

We’ll work on your form. Can’t have it happen again now, can we

Lance chewed on the inside of his cheek and set his phone down next to his head. He wasn’t sure why he reacted the way he did. Sure, the stuff David had said wasn’t okay, but Lance was not a violent person. But he couldn’t just stand there and not do anything. 

After a while, his mother came into his room, knocking softly on the door frame. He looked up, lifting himself onto his elbows as she sat down next to him. 

“The school called me back.” She said, gently carding through his hair. 

“And?” He asked, sitting up fully.

“Well, you’ll be in detention for the next few weeks.” She said and Lance smiled. 

“No suspension?” 

“No, but Lance, cariño, what you did was wrong! You’re not that type of person. You’ve always been able to talk things out. Why the punching?” She asked and Lance’s stomach dropped. 

“Mamá, I’m so sorry. I don’t know! I couldn’t just sit there!” Lance said, his voice raising, tears building up again. 

“Shhh, Lance. I understand, it’s okay I’m not mad,” She soothed and Lance’s head snapped up. 

“You’re not?” Maria laughed softly at that. 

“I trust you. You’re a good person, and if you thought violence was needed, it- it must have been.” She wiped his tears away gently with a thumb and then furrowed her eyebrows. “However, you are grounded for a few days.” She said, voice turning stern. Lance nodded, glad it wasn’t worse. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance was lying on his faded blue couch early the next saturday morning, after a long night of little to no sleep. He was a restless sleeper, kicking and turning constantly through the night, which was painful with a broken thumb. Everytime he finally drifted off, he would roll over onto his hand and wake up in pain from the pressure. After realizing that a good night’s sleep was not coming that day, he walked downstairs and watched the sunrise from the big window in his living room. He now focused on his thumb, pressing on different areas as if testing where it was really broken, even though he knew. 

“Hey, Lance?” He looked up to see his younger sister, Alexia, at the base of the stairs. 

“Yeah?” He responded, taking in the sight of his younger sister. She was in eighth grade now, and he didn’t see her much. She was always off with her friends, or down at the dojo. She had grown up and he hadn’t noticed. She was only an inch shorter than their mother now, and her arms and legs were toned from spending so many hours training. The most shocking thing, though, was that she had developed a look in her eyes that made her seem like she had aged much more than she had. It radiated intelligence and maturity that took Lance completely by surprise. 

“Ya know, poking at it won’t make it any less broken,” she smiled at him, the left side of her mouth quirking up.

He hummed in agreement. “Well, what will?” he joked, putting his attention back to the blue cast wrapped around his thumb. 

“I could teach you a few moves,” she suggested, moving to sit next to him, “I mean, I’m not encouraging you to get into more fights, but you can’t break your thumb anytime someone really needs to be socked in the jaw.”

He smiled at her, and stood up. “Alright, Lexi, let’s see what you got.” 

She returned the smile and stood next to him. “First of all, you broke your thumb because you were punching incorrectly. Like this,” She tucked her thumb under her fingers and made a fist. “We don’t punch like that primarily so that you don’t break your thumb. Instead,” she moved her thumb out from under her fingers and laid it across her pointer and middle finger while making a fist. “Do this. Also, you have bruises across your knuckles because that isn’t where you are supposed to punch. You punch here.” She pointed to the back of her fingers, right below the knuckles. 

He repeated her actions as she nodded along. 

“And then, another good move for a quick fight is a knife hand, particularly when aimed at the windpipe, as your opponent will need a few moments to recuperate. And then if they get you on to the ground, do this.” She laid down onto the ground and crossed on of her legs over the other, putting one on either side of his legs, and then uncrossed them, causing him to topple over. 

“You shouldn’t need much more than that. Let me know if you want to practice with me,”  she stated before leaving, and he could hear her opening the fridge, as if teaching him how to win a fight was one of her everyday chores. 

                        ~~~~~

The next day, after practicing the moves almost constantly, the best he could with one broken thumb anyways, Lance decided that it was time to show Keith. He felt that he needed to prove to Keith that he could be a competent human being, a bit after his younger sister needed to teach him how to punch. 

He walked over to ring the doorbell at about three in the afternoon, giddy over the plan that he had come up with. When the door opened, he automatically punched before seeing who was there. A rush of relief hit him when a glove clad hand caught it before it hit his face. It would be awkward if he accidentally punched Mr. Shirogane or Mrs. Kogane. 

Keith looked down at his hand, analyzing it like he knew that he would before tilting it a bit further down. “Your form is better,” He commented briefly before dropping his hand. 

Lance just grinned and swung his hand at Keith’s throat, which was quickly blocked and was bent behind his back before he knew it. “I see what you’re doing,” Keith stated, swiftly tripping him onto the ground, without hurting him somehow. “Did you take a class?” 

As soon as Keith had let him go and his back was turned, he quickly did the last move his sister had taught him, taking Keith by surprise and causing him to fall down, hitting the ground lightly on his forearms, before swiftly springing back onto his feet. 

“Okay, okay. You got me there,” Keith chuckled, as Lance stuck out his hand. As Keith reached to take it, he pulled him down onto the ground, where he landed on top of Lance, without two arms to stabilize him. 

“My sister didn’t teach me that one,” Lance smirked, speaking for the first time since he showed up and Keith laughed. Lance looked up at him for a moment, his breath catching slightly in his throat, for some unexplainable reason. His smile faded and his eyes widened as he took note of how close he was to Keith. After a few moments, Keith seemed to come to the same realization and briskly cleared his throat and hopped up to his feet. 

“Get up,” He practically ordered, shutting the door behind him. When Lance was up and functional, Keith crossed his arms and asked Lance to show him the punch again. 

After Lance did, the critique came. Keith adjusted his feet, so that his stance was balanced; made him try again, but with more control; showed him where his other arm should be, blocking his body. 

Then they moved onto the knife hand, Keith making the same adjustments. Finally, Keith laid down onto the ground to show him the last one. 

“You actually did this successfully, and I wasn’t watching so I don’t have much critique, but the only thing is that when you take them down,” Keith demonstrated by knocking Lance to the ground before he had a chance to think. “You’re feet are uncrossed, so you can easily,” He rolled up onto his feet, and got on top of Lance, “Get them pinned.” He grabbed both of Lance’s arms and held them firmly to the ground on either side of his head. 

Lance pushed slightly against the others hands but they didn’t budge. “Nice,” he squeaked, his voice coming out an octave higher than he intended. 

Keith had a strange look on his face as he stared down at Lance. They stayed like that for a few moments before Keith let go, got up and nodded. “Yeah. Well, just in case for the next fight you get into. A broken right thumb is pretty easily avoidable.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweats. 

“Right,” Lance smiled, and cleared his throat. “Well, I guess I should go. I just wanted to show you.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Keith nodded. “Hey actually my family is going out for brunch, and my mom keeps talking about how much she misses you if you want to come with?” He asked, staring at the ground between Lance’s feet, which were conveniently clad in unicorn socks. 

“Yeah that’d be awesome. I miss your mom too.” He responded, smiling awkwardly as Keith squinted a bit in confusion. “Um, I’ll just text my mom to let her know.”

“Okay, cool. Let me just go change real quick,” Keith responded, turning towards his staircase, and running up the steps. 

Lance let go a breath he didn’t know he was holding in and shook his head. 

\---------------------------------------------

The rest of the year went by just as quickly. College acceptance and denial letters were received, credits were earned, proms were planned. Lance kept growing, while Keith stopped, adding a few more inches onto their height gap. Soon enough, before anyone could take time to think about it, it was graduation. 

The night before, Keith was searching the depths of his closet for something nice to wear afterwards to the senior party when he bumped his head on the shelf above him and a small object made of black construction paper floated down onto his shoulder. He picked it up and inspected it before realizing what it was and setting it onto his bag, carefully as not to crumple it. He didn’t even realize he had it, but thought it was about time to return it to its rightful owner. It was 1:30 AM by that point, and he realized he wasn’t going to find anything he hadn’t already found, so he pulled out a black tie, some black slacks and a red dress shirt; his go-to outfit when he needed to look nice. He hung them on the back of his chair and got into bed, out in moments.  
                         
~~~~~

The next day, Lance’s house was bustling with nerves and excitement. Everyone was on their game to look nice, as one of the thousands of pictures taken today would be the next on the mantle. 

Maria McClain had claimed the mantle above their fireplace for all of the important pictures to her. The pictures of the people she held closest to her; her family. They were the pictures that everyone saw when they first walked into the house, and they were the ones that she showed people. Therefore, the entire family tried their very best to look nice for it. The siblings even had competitions about who could make it onto the mantle the most, claiming that they were the favorite, although she made a point to keep it even when she could. 

The ride to the convention center where it was being held was chaotic, filled with quadruple checks, making sure they had a camera and they hadn’t forgotten anyone (it had happened in the past). When they got there, they said quick goodbyes to Lance before he rushed down to join his peers in the waiting area. He caught up with Pidge, Keith and Hunk briefly before the teachers started asking them to line up by last name. 

It is a well known fact that graduations are a long process for a small period of glory, but it flew by for Lance. He was a relatively popular kid, and watching his many friends graduate, and give speeches was exciting. When he walked up to get his diploma, he could’ve sworn that he could hear his parents, although it was a huge building and there were too many people cheering for him actually to have heard them. After all, as previously mentioned, he was a pretty popular kid. 

After the graduation had finished, it was a tiring parade of picture after picture with all of his distant relatives who had come in from far away to see him graduate. Near the end, Keith’s family and his joined up and Keith pulled him over to the side. 

“Hey, thought you might need a break,” Keith smiled up at the taller boy. 

Lance laughed and thanked him, running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath. 

“Also, I have something for you,” Keith pulled his hands out from behind his back and handed a small square of construction paper to him. On the top, it read LANCE in silver sharpie, surrounded by small swirls made of blue glitter glue. It had a small ring of construction paper underneath it, where it had fit on Lance’s head when they had graduated kindergarten. Lance was silent as he stared at the small object in his hands. After a few moments, Keith broke the silence, “Um, I just found it in my closet the other day and figured you might-” He was cut off by Lance wrapping his arms around him in a bone-crushing hug, which was reciprocated after a slight pause. 

After a long period of time, Lance pulled away, “Thanks,” Lance beamed, leaning into Keith. 

Keith’s eyes widened, and he smiled softly at the taller boy. “You’re welcome.” 

~~~~~

The next day, Manny had seen Maria printing a photo from Walgreens on their families laptop, though he couldn’t see what it was, and had relayed the information to the rest of the house. When she arrived back at their blue townhouse, almost the entire family, besides Lance, who was out at a grad party and hadn’t yet heard the news, was somewhere near the living room. Manny and Lexi leaned ‘casually’ against the wall, having a deep conversation about something. Lance’s father, John, was reading a newspaper on the couch, the door and the mantle both conveniently in his line of sight. Julio, Ben, Lily and Ana, who were in town for the graduation, were playing cards at the dinner table. Maria walked in and suddenly the house was quiet. 

Eyes followed as she strutted into the family room, an envelope clutched loosely in her thin fingers. None of them could see at this point, but they heard the familiar sound of a frame being pulled out of a bin and they could hear it being opened and then closed. She could feel the eyes on her as she walked up to the mantle and gently set a frame onto the space she had cleared earlier that day. Those who couldn’t see strolled leisurely past the mantle to take a peek at the newest addition. They all left disappointed or surprised, as this had pushed Lance in the lead, but none of them were in the picture. The day went on normally, none of them particularly impacted by the picture, and so no bragging ensued. 

Late that night, Lance stumbled into the house, completely exhausted from a long day. He threw off his shoes and dropped onto the couch, hard enough that something fell off of the mantle in front of him. He cursed, hoping it didn’t wake anyone else in the house and turned on his phone flashlight. He moved slowly so that no floorboards creaked and picked the frame, which was thankfully still in tact, off of the fireplace. He set it on the mantle quickly, just briefly taking note of it. He began to walk back before the picture registered, and he turned back. 

He picked it back up off the mantle and stared at it for a solid ten minutes. The photo didn’t show the faces of Keith or Lance completely, but the side view was clear enough. They were hugging, arms wrapped tightly around the other, hands clutching at the other’s robes. Lance had his kindergarten graduation hat clutched in one hand and his face was buried into Keith’s shoulder. Keith’s eyes were closed, but his mouth was curved upwards. They looked like all of the fights, and the years of not talking had never happened. They looked as if they had reverted to a previous state of happiness, of easiness. Lance’s heart clenched at the sight. He grinned at the picture and set it gently on the mantle. He laid back down on the couch and was asleep in seconds. 

\---------------------------------------------

Keith loved UCLA. It was hard, sure, but the classes were interesting and the students were a lot more tolerable than in high school. He was still undecided, so the majority of classes he was taking were standard courses. Pidge was accepted into MIT, and Hunk was attending Berkeley. Lance coincidently was also going to UCLA. When Keith found out he’d been accepted, they both requested each other as a roommate.  

A few weeks into college, Keith was just getting home after eating dinner. He threw his bag onto his bed and grabbed his laptop. He had about an hour of studying to do and a few sheets of notes to finish, but his brain was pretty much dead. He opened up Netflix and settled into his bed, starting the latest season of Sense8. 

He was two episodes in when Lance burst into the room. Keith looked up, pausing his show. Lance’s back was facing him and his head moving at an odd angle before Keith realized there was someone with Lance. The two broke apart, staring at Keith. He was with a girl, tall and slim with sparkling dark blue eyes and turquoise hair. 

“Hello?” Keith asked, finally pulling out his headphones. The pair laughed, the girl wrapping her arms around Lance’s waist and drawing a heavy feeling into Keith’s stomach. 

“I’m so sorry! I thought we were going to be alone!” She said it with a kind tone, although it’s directed at Lance like a question. 

“Keith, this is Luxia, Luxia, my roommate, Keith, who was actually just getting ready to leave.” Lance introduced, narrowing his eyes at his roommate. Keith sighed and jerked his head towards the hallway before standing up and walking out of the room. Lance followed with an apology to the girl. 

“Why do I have to leave?” Keith asked, voice angry.

“Please, Keith, just tonight. I’ll owe you one!” He pleaded and Keith frowned. 

“Who am I going to stay with?” He asked, picking at his phone case. 

“Don’t you have some friends from history that live down the hall?” Lance asked, glancing back into the room at his newfound companion. “Please, dude? I’ll repay you, I promise.” Keith sighed at Lance’s puppy eyes. 

“Fine, just once. And you owe me big time.” He agreed, and Lance’s face grew into a grin. 

“Thank you so much!” He squealed and returned to the room. Keith grabbed his computer and phone along with a few other things before trudging out of the room, trying not to think about the sounds he heard behind him. 

He knocked on a dorm room a little ways down the hall, hoping they’d let him in. Kolivan answered the door, a tired look on his face. He furrowed his eyebrows at Keith. 

“Can I sleep here? I just need somewhere to stay, my roommate decided sex was more important than my sleep schedule,” Keith explained and Kolivan smirked, leading the way into the room. Antok waved at Keith before returning to typing a paper, and Kolivan motioned towards his desk. 

“You can sit there if you want. Bed or floor?” He asked as Keith sat at the desk.

“I can sleep on the floor, it’s fine. Thanks,” Keith said and pulled his laptop out. Restarting his episode, he tried to settle in, but the image of Lance’s face with that girl wouldn't disappear. What was wrong with him? Lance was an adult, he could sleep with people if he wanted to, right?

~~~~~

Lance trudged up the stairs. It had been a long day, and he’d just spent the last two hours in a lecture with quite possibly the rudest professor he ever had. On top of that, it had started pouring on his walk back to the dorms. All of his clothes were drenched and some of his papers were wet. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. He just wanted sleep, or watch a few episodes of something, or both. His head hurt with a headache that had started in the morning, persistently getting worse throughout the day. 

Lance tried to open the door, only to find it locked. He shifted his bag onto his other shoulder with a sigh, and pulled out his key. Keith and Lance never locked their dorm, but apparently Keith had forgotten that.  Lance jammed his key into the lock in frustration, yearning for a nice, warm shower and a cup of tea. He finally opened the door, stepping inside his room.

A couple things happened at once. First, someone let out a screech about “privacy” that nearly broke Lance’s eardrum. Second, a pillow hit him squarely in his face, before Lance could even process what was happening. Third, Lance covered his eyes, regretting opening his door. 

“Dude! What the hell!” Keith shouted, sitting up on his bed. Lance took notice of the guy sitting next to him, blonde buzzcut and blue eyes. The other guy had a look of amusement, a smirk forming on his face. Lance couldn’t help but notice the lack of shirts, or any article of clothing. He did a onceover on Keith’s new companion, and almost smirked. Keith sure knew how to pick them. Lance’s eyes flicked over to the dark haired man. It wasn’t like Lance had never seen him shirtless before, after all, they did share a room, but those were always quick glances as he pulled a shirt off or on. Lance couldn’t help but stare a little. His skinny little childhood friend had grown up, bulking up on muscles that were only more prominent now with the lack of shirt. His cheeks burned and he looked at the floor quickly. 

“Sorry.” Lance muttered and walked towards his desk. 

“Oh my god, Lance, leave!” Keith groaned as Lance grabbed a few of his things and a change of clothes. 

“Just let me change first, please. Then I’ll be gone,” Lance pleaded, already wishing he were already wearing the soft fleece of the sweatshirt in his hand. 

“Fine, but for the love of god, hurry the fuck up!” Keith’s demand followed Lance as he walked into their bathroom, stripping off his clothes. He tried to block out the noises coming through the thin wall as he pulled on his dry clothes, relishing in the warmth. He walked back into the room, averting his eyes from Keith’s bed and grabbed his bag. 

“Bye.” He muttered over his shoulder, leaving the sound of hushed laughs and questionable sounds behind him as he stepped into the hallway. It was justified, he’d kicked Keith out enough, it was only fair for the other man to respond the same way. He decided to walk to his friend from biology, Plaxum’s room, which was on the other side of the building and down a floor. He started towards her room, he tried not to think about Keith and Mr. Buzzcut. The hushed laugh and the quiet comments followed him as he walked down the hallway. He couldn’t block out the image of Keith, the sheet slipping down his torso as he sat up, or the smirk on his face as Buzzcut whispered something to him. It made his stomach flip with an unknown emotion. As he arrived at Plaxum’s door, the voice in his mind supplied a helpful name for the emotion, jealousy. Lance shoved the thought away, not wanting to think about a stupid little schoolyard crush, not when there were so many other things on his mind. School, for one, deserved a lot more attention than whatever guy Keith was hooking up with. Lance made a mental list of all the things he should be thinking about as Plaxum let him in. Clubs, social life, girls, his family visiting next week, school, and so much more. Mr. Buzzcut did not deserve to be on that list. 

\---------------------------------------------

Keith sprinted through the campus, knocking against people’s shoulders and frantically apologizing. It was late January and the ground was icy, so he was just hoping that he wouldn’t slip. It was 8:54, and the dining hall closest to his dorm closed at 9. At 8:56 he rushed in, making the kitchen staff sigh and turn the lights back on. He smiled apologetically and grabbed the paper plate the head chef handed him. 

“You’ve got five minutes, Keith,” the tall man handing him the plate said, raising an eyebrow and smiling at him. 

“Thanks, Sal. I promise it won’t happen again!” Keith said, piling his plate high with all different foods. 

“You’ve said every single time since you started here and yet it still happens. But hey, you’ve gotten a bit faster at least,” Sal chuckled, stacking some chairs on top of the tables near him. 

Keith laughed as he walked towards the door. “Thanks!” He grinned and checked his watch, which read 9:00pm. He grabbed a biscuit off of his stack and jogged up the stairs of his dorm building. 

Antok waved at him as he passed their room, calling out, “See you in a few.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow, but kept moving, oblivious to what was about to happen. He reached to open the door and saw a neon orange sock hanging on the door handle. He groaned in frustration, storming away towards Antok and Kolivan’s room and stopped in their doorway. 

“I just want to eat my goddamn food in peace! In my own goddamn room!” He shouted, and the two broke out laughing. “You know what, fine. He wants to do this every single night, then fine!” He pulled out his phone, setting his plate of food on Kolivan’s dresser. 

There was a guy in his English class that had given Keith his number a few days ago and who always stared at Keith during class. It was obvious the guy had a crush, and in normal circumstances, Keith would’ve shown the guy that he wasn’t interested in a nice way, but right now he wasn’t thinking rationally. He texted him, Arus Hall. Third floor. Room 309. 10 min. 

A second later, a winky face popped up on his screen. He rolled his eyes at how forward and desperate this guy was, but he would help make the point that Keith needed to make. He sat down on Antok’s bed and ate his food. “Alright, I’ve got ten minutes.” The two others in the room didn’t question him, they just continued with the video game they had been playing. 

Five minutes later, the boy showed up in the doorway, leaving Keith to decide between his food or his anger. 

Keith hesitantly set his food down and then stormed towards him. “You’re early,” He muttered as he grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall to his room. 

“Sorry,” the boy whispered, a confused smile adorning his face. “Where are we-” He was cut off by Keith’s mouth pressing against his and pushing him up against the door. He didn’t dare try and finish his sentence, taking whatever he could get. 

Keith reached behind him to get the doorknob, without pausing what he was doing, and they slowly staggered into the room. After a few seconds, a loud screech and “Keith!” echoed through their dorm, and probably the entire floor. Keith pulled apart from the boy, whose name he still didn’t know, and looked over to where Lance and some girl were wearing nothing but the blankets now covering them. He grimaced. 

“Oh, hi Lance. Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” Keith said, no emotion in his voice as he scowled at the girl he was next to. She had long dyed pink hair that could’ve been down to the middle of her back or down to her feet for all Keith knew. It was hidden under the covers that she was now clutching so tightly to her body. 

“I put a sock on the door!” Lance squawked indignantly, now bothering to hide any of his emotions. 

“Well, I was a little preoccupied,” Keith spat, his voice calm, but his eyes burning. He could hear the girl Lance was with ask Lance to pass her her skirt and he grabbed it off the ground and passed it to her without taking his eyes off of Keith. He paid no attention to her or his own guy who was still standing next to him. 

Keith could see that Lance’s expression was a mask of his, if a bit more outraged. A storm was brewing. 

“Well, you should pay more attention! A sock is a universal sign, for get out I’m doing it in here!” The girl next to him looked over at him, her eyes wide and embarrassed. He grabbed his jeans off of the floor and pulled them on under the sheets, getting up and out of the bed. 

“Well, it’s my room too!” Keith shouted, losing his cool as he realized Lance was most definitely about to, or had already had sex with this random girl who he probably barely knew. “And you had it the other day so it’s my turn!” 

“Well, you have way more people here that I do!” Lance yelled, getting close to Keith. 

Keith stepped closer, “That is so not true! You always have people in here! I bet you don’t even know their names.” 

“I bet you don’t know their names either!” 

“Yeah, I do!” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

“Yeah-huh.” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

“Yeah-huh.” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

“Yeah-huh.” 

“Prove it! What’s his-” Lance’s voice cut off as he pointed next to Keith at the blank space where the guy used to be. He looked back to the bed, which was now empty. 

“They left,” Keith stated, voice once again void of emotion. 

“Ugh! Keith, do you know how long I have been waiting to get Florona into bed with me! I have been talking to her non-stop since the beginning of the school year, all leading up to this moment and you ruined it for me!” Lance yelled, kicking a pile of dirty clothes. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that everything was about sex for you and-” 

“It’s not!” 

“Really. So do you like this girls personality at all?” Keith fumed. 

“Well, no. But that doesn’t mean everything’s about doin’ it!” Lance began to pace. 

“How so?” 

“Well, well I don’t know, but what was I supposed to do, Keith?!” Keith began walking towards him, unsure of what he was going to do. Punch him maybe? Lance continued, “What was I supposed to do when I wrecked things with you in freaking ninth grade!” Keith paused, eyes widening as Lance also froze in place. 

“What did you just say?” Keith whispered, his voice barely audible. 

Lance didn’t respond, just stood there, his back turned to Keith. 

“Lance,” Keith started, moving towards him, but the taller boy was silent. 

“Lance,” Keith repeated, moving in front of him and then pausing. He looked up to see the most heartbroken look he had ever seen. 

“I ruined things again, didn’t I.” Lance stated, his eyes closed and his brows furrowed. Unsure of what to do, Keith got up on his tiptoes and kissed him. He pulled away and looked up again. Lance’s face was red, shocked. 

“No.” Keith said, “I’ve liked you since like seventh grade, so no.” Lance’s face lit up in a grin. Before Keith knew what was happening, Lance’s mouth was on his and his hands cupped Keith’s face. He pushed him up against the door, effectively shutting it. 

After quite a long time of that, Lance pulled away, staring down at the shorter boy. He didn’t say anything, just watched him. Keith started to laugh after a few minutes, asking what he was looking at. 

Lance smiled, and it was such a genuine smile that Keith’s heart swelled just a little. “I just, never expected I mean,” he closed his eyes, searching for the right words. “I never expected to actually get you. It was always just, at least I have him as a friend. At least he’s in my life. I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” 

Keith leaned up, kissing him briefly again. “Imagine how hard it was for me. I thought you were straight.” 

They spent the rest of the night cuddling and talking. It had gone much better that Keith had expected when he first came home that night. 

In the morning, Keith woke up to a snoring Lance entangled with him. He smiled softly, looking down at the sleeping form of his roommate-boyfriend? They hadn’t talked at all about where this was going, and instead spent last night talking and enjoying each other’s company. Did Keith want this to go somewhere? Hell yeah, it’s the only thing he’s wanted since seventh grade, but did Lance want this to go somewhere? And what happened if it didn’t? He could get a new roommate, sure, but he’d have to make new friends, find new hobbies, redo his entire life at college. 

Lance stirred, turning his face towards Keith, the sunlight streaming in through their dorm’s cheap blinds. Keith let his smile grow and leaned down, gently kissing Lance’s forehead. 

“ ‘Morning.” He whispered and the taller stretched out his arms, yawning. 

“Good morning, sunshine.” He grinned, and Keith burst out laughing. 

“That’s the most cliched line I’ve ever heard.” 

“Yeah, but you liked it.” Lance smirked, knowingly. 

“I guess I did.” Keith smiled and turned onto his back. 

“So… Last night…” Lance began before trailing off. 

“Yeah?” Keith asked, curious on where he was going with it. 

“I, just… Did you really mean those things?” He asked, voice sounding smaller than Keith had ever heard it. 

“Every single word.” Keith responded without hesitation. After a moment of doubt, he added, “Did you?” 

“Absolutely.” Lance confirmed and rolled over to face Keith. 

“Now what?” Keith asked, turning to face Lance as well. 

“Well, are we dating?” Lance asked curiously, and Keith felt his heart quicken. 

“I, uh, I would like to?” He said, suddenly feeling vulnerable. What if Lance said no?  

“I’d like to, too.” Lance responded, leaning forward to lightly kiss Keith on the nose, which only ended in laughter. “So, as my boyfriend, want to go get me coffee?” Lance asked and Keith rolled his eyes.

“Sure. Let me get dressed and I’ll run down to the cafe.” He said, starting to get out of bed. 

“On second thought, why don’t you just stay here. It’s too cold without you.” Lance whined and Keith smiled at him before crawling back in and laying next to him, feeling more content than he has in years. 

\---------------------------------------------  
As the final lecture of the trimester ended, Lance woke up the kid next to him who had fallen asleep on his shoulder and headed towards the door. He was halfway out the door when his professor called him back. 

“Hello, Mr. McClain,” his professor smiled, something relatively unrealistic in these huge lecture classes. Lance had made a point from the beginning of the year to introduce himself to each of his professors. “I wanted to discuss an opportunity that has just arisen. There is a year-long internship in Bolivia volunteer teaching underprivileged children who don’t have access to schooling. I understand that you’re only a freshman, but you’re one of my best students and I think this would be wonderful experience for you. You have a very bright future and I believe you could change a lot of lives. I’ve personally recommended you and they should be contacting you very soon.” 

Lance’s mouth dried up temporarily and he searched for something to say. Finally, he forced a quick thank you before stumbling out of the room. Bolivia? He had thought the few trips to Cuba he had been on were long, but Bolivia makes them seem like the quick bus ride over to Disneyland. And for a year? The longest he had gone without visiting home was a month and he could barely do that! He still made a point to drive home every other weekend. What about his nieces and nephews? Would the young ones still remember him after a year? He slid onto a bench and rested his head on the brick wall behind it. It would be scary, but this was his chance. This would be his shot at an adventure. He’d be stupid to pass it up. 

He pulled out his phone and began searching pictures of and facts about Bolivia. As he made his way back to his dorm, the panic in his stomach turned to excitement. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance logged onto his skype, grinning with anticipation as he clicked on Hunk and Pidge’s names. He bounced in his seat in anticipation, his smile almost breaking his face as the other two connected. They popped up on the screen, Hunk’s face giving way to his huge smile and Pidge’s displaying a smirk. 

“Hunky! Pidgeon! I miss you guys so much!” Lance squealed as the other two laughed. 

“Missed you, too, buddy. How’s UCLA?” Hunk asked, and Lance’s smile only grew. 

“Amazing! I love the classes, and the teachers I have are great! Plus, Keith’s a good roommate.” He said, almost laughing at that comment. “Speaking of, got some news for you two!” 

“Yeah, yeah, in a minute. I’ve got bigger news!” Pidge announced and Lance faked pouting, sticking out his bottom lip. “Yours truly was accepted into an internship with Google!” They smiled as Hunk and Lance started screaming. 

“Pidge, that’s amazing!” Hunk screeched over Lance’s excited yells. Once Hunk and Lance stopped hyperventilating, Pidge started to explain. 

“It’s with one of their head employees, directly under Eric Barndollar!” They announced and Hunk gasped. 

“The software engineer?” Hunk asked and squealed at Pidge’s nod. “No way! Pidge that’s amazing!” 

“I know, but wanna hear the best part?” They asked and Lance and Hunk quieted down. “It’s at the headquarters, in Mountain View, California!”

“Wait, you’re going to be less than six hours away from me!” Lance shouted, face splitting in a grin. “I’ve missed my little gremlin!” Pidge grumbled at the name, but continued smiling. 

“I’ve got news, too!” Hunk exclaimed, sounding slightly nervous. “I, uh, met a really nice girl on campus-” Hunk began, only to be interrupted by Lance.  

“Did my Hunky bear get a girlfriend?” He crooned and Hunk started shifting in his seat as Pidge’s laughter echoed through the shitty connection of college dorm wifi. 

“We’re not dating!” He exclaimed in frustration. “We’ve only gone out for coffee twice and went to an art show of a mutual friend’s.” 

“So, yeah, you’re dating.” Lance smirked as Hunk groaned. 

“I don’t know, we haven’t talked about, y’know, labels.” The larger man side, eyes downcast. 

“I’m so happy for you, buddy! What’s her name?” Lance asked, and Hunk looked relieved at the slight change of subject. 

“Shay. She’s a geology major and a wonderful person. I want you to meet her sometime!” 

“Are you sure you want Lance to meet her? Aren’t you scared he might ruin your relationship with shitty flirting?” Pidge rambled. 

“Hey! My flirting is amazing, so you can fuck off, and as I was trying to say earlier, I’m already taken.” Lance announced proudly as a collective gasp could be heard from Hunk and Pidge. 

“Who?” 

“Uh, well, it’s Keith?” He answered, voice suddenly small. Was it okay that he told them? Was it too soon? What if it didn’t work out? 

“No way! How?!” Hunk shouted at the same time as Pidge remarked, “Our Keith?” 

“Uh, yeah. I guess it had been building up for a while? We’re really happy, though.”

“Gotta say, it’s not that surprising.” Pidge admitted. “I’m glad you’re happy though!” The conversation drifted off topic and turned towards reminiscing about high school days. Lance sighed contently as he listened to his two best friends banter. He felt like he was on top of the world; as of right now, his life was everything he wanted.

\---------------------------------------------

Keith woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. He sat up groggily and a hand slapped his shoulder. 

“Hey bud! I was gonna wait until you woke up, but it’s 8:00 and you still haven’t gotten out of bed so I just gave up,” Shiro said, smiling at his brother. 

“You say that like it’s a bad thi- Shiro!” Keith launched himself into his brothers arms and the two laughed. “I didn’t know you were coming up!” 

Shiro laughed again, ruffling his younger brothers hair. “That’s ‘cause I didn’t tell you! It’s called a surprise, I’m sure you’ve heard of it,” Shiro chuckled as Keith rolled his eyes. 

“Wow I didn’t ask for this sass at eight in the morning. But this is awesome! I actually have something to tell you,” Keith began. 

“You and Lance are dating. I know. When I came in he was still in your bed so I figured,” he smiled down to Keith, whose face was scarlet. “I’m so happy for you!” 

Keith grinned back. “Thanks. Okay, well let me get some clothes on and I’ll show you around the campus!” 

Shiro laid back on the bed and a few minutes later they were out the door. 

As they walked, Keith took him to his favorite coffee place, introduced him to the dining staff and complained about teachers and the workload. 

“You think you have a big workload this year you are going to have a rough time later on,” Shiro laughed. 

Keith groaned and shook his head. “Hey, just a quick question. How come it took you so long to visit? I’m not mad or anything but- Well, I’ve been here for like six months and this is the first time you’ve come up. How did you even know my dorm number?” 

“Sorry little bro. It’s just been really crazy. I mean, real life. It’s hard. I tried to make time, but with this new job I really only get the holidays off. And I planned this whole thing with Lance, that’s how I knew.” Shiro scratched the back of his neck apologetically. 

“Okay. I mean it’s fine, I totally get it.” Keith smiled up at his brother to prove that he really wasn’t mad. “You’re here now. Oh hey there are a few of my friends. We can go say hi.” 

And just like that they fell back into old, comfortable ways, just like brothers always do. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance came back to find the dorm empty and smiled to himself. Keith and Shiro were probably having a great time. He’d known how much Keith had missed Shiro and knowing they were out there talking again made Lance feel so successful. Plus, he could finally get some alone time. 

He flopped down onto his bed, checking his email quickly before binging the first season of Friends for the thirtieth time. He skimmed over junk about sales and discounts and was about to exit out of it when he saw the magic word, Bolivia. He frantically clicked on the email and scanned it’s contents. They had accepted him… They had accepted him! All he had to do was fill out a few forms and get a few shots and he was in. He could hardly believe it! It had been weeks since the professor talked to him about it and he had just assumed he didn’t get it! He set down his computer,  and did a little happy dance. Instead of watching Friends, he spent the next hour reading the websites they had sent him links to and filling out forms.

He pulled out his phone to call his mom and saw a message from Keith. Keith. He hadn’t even thought about that. How could they maintain a relationship when he was in Bolivia for a year? He had waited so long for this, how could he give it up now? How could he leave right when everything was finally perfect? 

He sunk to the floor and stared at Keith’s contact picture. It was a picture of them in third grade in their superhero halloween costumes. They were Superman and Batman and Keith’s mask was hanging crooked off his too small head, and Lance was reaching over to fix it. Since they were five years old he hadn’t left Keith’s side. Even when they were fighting. He didn’t know how to leave Keith’s side. 

He threw his phone across the room and pounded the floor angrily. Nothing ever worked out for him. Every time he got something great he had to give something up. Before he had made quick, irrational decisions and they had always worked out in the end, but he knew he couldn’t do that this time. He had to choose. Keith or Bolivia? He pulled out a pad of paper and made a pro and con list. He made the Bolivia one quick enough, it was simple. Keith is where it got complicated. Only one thing came to mind and as he scribbled it down, he knew this was no way to make a big decision. He crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash. 

If he did decide Bolivia, how would he even tell Keith? How would Keith react? He would tell him to go. He wouldn’t even understand why Lance would question it. He always argued the best about his own worthlessness. 

He heard the keys turn in the door and scrambled up off the floor. He tried to lay casually on the bed as Keith and Shiro walked in. 

“Hey,” Keith smiled as he flopped down next to Lance. His smile fell when he looked at him.  “What’s wrong?” 

Lance faked a laugh and stood up. “Nothing is wrong, what are you even talking about? So, Shiro. How do you like the campus?”

“It’s pretty… of course not as pretty as CalTech though. Yeah, Beavers!” He responded, chuckling as Keith rolled his eyes.

“That is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” He grinned and they all laughed. 

“Anyway, Shiro you can sleep in Keith’s bed, and Keith can sleep with me, or you can take our futon, whatever you want.” Lance said, forcing himself not to look at Keith. He decided he would just ignore the issue until he absolutely had to deal with it…

“I’ll take the bed as long as you two promise no… canoodling in the middle of the night. I might just have an aneurism if I have to deal with that. I will give you two the sex talk again, don’t try me!” Shiro said, hopping up to lay on Keith’s bed. 

“Yeah you don’t have to tell me twice. That was awful when we were twelve, and I don’t think it’d be any better now,” Keith laughed. 

Shiro went to use the bathroom and Keith grabbed Lance’s hand, forcing him to look the shorter boy in the eye. 

“Thank you so much for this. It.. It really means alot to me,” Keith beamed at him and Lance’s heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. How could he possibly leave? 

So it was decided. He wouldn’t. He would email them in the morning and say that he just couldn’t do it. 

\---------------------------------------------

The night before Shiro left, Hunk drove down from Berkeley, and the four of them went out. They found themselves in some bar in the middle of town, seated in a cracked leather booth surrounded in dim and dingey lighting. Hunk and Lance had ordered them a few burgers, leaving Shiro and Keith to save their booth. Keith’s eyes tracked Lance’s movements from afar, watching as he laughed at something the bartender had said.

“You seem really happy, Keith.” Shiro said, smiling at his younger brother. 

“I am. For the first time in awhile, I really feel like I have a hold on things, you know? Like I actually might survive college and end up doing something with my life.” He waved as Lance turned and started heading back to the table. 

“I’m so glad,” Shiro murmured as the other two joined them. The conversation moved towards school, then sports, then back to school until keith was no longer tracking it. He slipped his hand underneath the table, resting it on the space in between him and Lance. The other boy noticed after a few moments, before sliding his hand through Keith’s and intertwining their fingers. Keith couldn’t stop his smile and attempted to join into the conversation, although his brain would only focus on the fact that he and Lance were holding hands. It wasn’t a big deal, in middle school maybe, and it meant more to Keith than it probably should have. But, for the first time in a long time, he was with someone who clearly cared about him, and simple gestures showed that. Lance shifted beside him, moving to lean against him slightly and Keith’s cheeks hurt from holding back his smile. 

“So, I have some news guys.” Hunk announced and the booth fell quiet. “I asked Shay out, formally, and she said yes!” 

“That’s awesome, Hunky!” Lance grinned, high fiving him. 

“That’s seriously great, I’m happy for you, man!” Keith said, as Shiro added his congratulations. 

“When’s the official date?” Keith asked and Hunk smiled. 

“Well, it’s in two days, there’s a geological exhibit at the museum that I got us tickets for.” 

“So you’re first date is going to be looking at rocks. Romantic.” Lance teased as Keith scolded him. 

“It sounds nice, I’m sure she’ll love it.” Shiro assured, glaring at Lance. 

“You know I’m kidding, it’s perfect. Good luck! If you need any flirting tips, I’m your man!” Lance said and Keith started coughing. 

“Seriously? Hunk, please don’t ask Lance for flirting tips, I’ve never seen any of his ‘lines’ work before.” 

“They worked on you, didn’t they?” Lance smirked and Keith’s face flooded a darker shade of red. 

“Anyways,” Shiro, ever the dad, interrupted. “I wish you the best. How are the classes you’re taking?” As Shiro changed the subject, Keith tried to rid himself of the blush. 

“I wasn’t wrong thought, was I.” Lance whispered in his ear, and Keith’s cheeks stayed persistently red with the close proximity to the taller man. 

“Shut up.” He muttered and tried to pretend he couldn’t hear Lance laughing. A half an hour later, Lance stood up, leaving for the bathroom. Hunk and Shiro paused their conversation to acknowledge Lance’s departure and continued talking. 

Keith watched Lance walk away briefly and then turned his attention back to Hunk and Shiro. He opened his mouth to add something and then Lance’s phone rang. 

“I got it,” he murmured and then casually picked it up. 

“Lance McClain?” The voice on the other end asked. 

“He’s not here, but I can take a message for him,” Keith responded while faintly listening to Hunk and Shiro. 

“Wonderful. We wanted to tell him how unfortunate his being unable to make the Bolivia trip is. Though we have given him ample time to consider, we really believe that he would be an asset to our team. We are making an exception specifically for him by offering him two more weeks to reconsider our offer.” 

Keith stopped listening to Shiro and Hunk. “Okay, I’ll let him know,” He responded. “And, just a quick reminder, what exactly is it?” 

They paused slightly on the other end before responding, “The Bolivia trip? A year long volunteer teaching internship, with all expenses paid for, working with children who don’t have access to education…” They paused waiting for Keith to remember. 

“Oh, yes, right. Thanks for calling, I’ll relay the message.” 

“Thank you. Have a nice evening,” They said and then hung up. 

“You too,” Keith murmured as he set Lance’s phone back down onto the table. 

“What was that about?” Hunk asked and Keith faintly replied with something about a dentist appointment. He didn’t understand why Lance would turn it down. He didn’t understand why Lance didn’t tell him. 

Lance came back and slid in next to him, giving him a little peck on the cheek. “What’s wrong?” He asked and Keith glanced quickly at Hunk and Shiro. 

“Nothing.”


	8. I guess I still care, do you still care?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so sorry for the hiatus! Life got in the way and it was hard to find time to write for a little while. Anyways, WE HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

As the night came to an end, everyone hugged goodbye before driving back their separate ways. It was a quiet ride in Lance’s car, Keith too busy replaying the phone call in his head to talk to Lance. Lance had put on music at some point and was softly humming along, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Keith turned to look at him, studying his profile. Lance was focused on the road, subtly moving his upper body in time to the music. He had a soft smile on his face, the kind that made Keith’s stomach curl. 

“You okay?” Lance’s voice interrupted his thoughts and Keith started slightly. “You’ve been quiet all night, what’s wrong?” The concern dripping in Lance’s voice made Keith’s head fuzzy. It was still incredible to Keith that someone like Lance chose to care about him. It was one of the reasons he knew that Lance had to take the internship. He’d been thinking about it all night, the idea that Lance gave this amazing opportunity up. Keith had to make sure he wasn’t the reason that Lance wasn’t going. He couldn’t take such a perfect opportunity from him. 

“I’m fine, but, um… well…” He glanced back to see Shiro scrolling through his phone, smiling and laughing softly at something. Keith furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. “Nevermind. I’m just tired I guess.” He would talk to Lance about this, he swore, just not while Shiro was here. 

They spent the rest of the ride listening to a few songs of Lance’s choice before pulling up to the dorms. Shiro hops out of the car first, Lance following, while Keith takes his time climbing out of his seat. His head was still spinning, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He ran a hand over his face as he trudged after them into the dorms. Lance and Shiro were talking animatedly about some topic that Keith wasn’t listening to. When they got to the door, Lance handed the key to Shiro and Keith’s brother let himself inside. Keith felt himself be tugged to a stop, unable to follow Shiro. Lance was looking at him, his blue eyes soft and full of concern. 

“Keith, are you really okay? I’ve never heard you this quiet around me, let alone Shiro.” He asks, holding onto Keith’s wrist. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

“Of course I do, but can we just talk about this later? I’m really tired so…” Lance looked surprised at being blown off in the way that Keith was doing, and his stomach twisted. 

“Yeah, sure.” Lance replied, walking into the dorm after carefully dropping Keith’s arm. Keith sighed, running a hand through his hair. He knew he was being unfair, but why didn’t Lance tell him? With something as important as Bolivia, Keith thought he would’ve been the first person Lance would tell. Maybe he wasn’t as important to Lance as he thought. Shoving that idea away, Keith walked out of the hall into the tiny dorm. Shiro was already in bed, and he could tell Lance was in the bathroom by the soft singing. Keith grabbed his pajamas from his dresser, pulling the shirt on. 

“Who were you talking to in the car?” Keith asked, and sat down on the bed across from Shiro.

“No one.” Shiro replied and Keith snorted at the obvious lie. He knew what Shiro looked like when he was talking to someone he liked. It was the same look he used a few summers ago every time he talked to Allura. “I’m not lying!” He insisted, then broke out laughing as Keith raised an eyebrow. 

“Really? Then show me your phone.” Keith grinned and Shiro yelped, diving off the bed for his phone, which was on the desk. They ended up sprawled across the floor, grappling each other to get to the desk. Keith was laughing, all thoughts of Bolivia chased from his head. They both finally gave up, and Keith sat next to Shiro on the bed. “Spill.” 

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Keith snorted again and Shiro batted his head. “Her name is Sarah, I met her in my engineering class.” Keith smiled, and patted his brother on the back in an awkward semi-hug. 

“Are you guys dating yet?” He asked, and the bathroom door opened, revealing Lance donned in a purple face mask. “You better not be wearing that to bed, it’s going to get in my hair.” Keith scolded and Lance just grinned.

“Well, if it does at least you can finally cut your mullet.” Lance retorted and stretched his arms above his head before climbing into the other bed. 

“Oh my god, aren’t you two dating? How can you bicker like this and not break up?” Shiro groaned and shoved Keith off his bed. “No more questions, go to sleep, I have to leave early.” 

Keith compiled, and entered the bathroom. He brushed his hair as best he could and brushed his teeth. His mind wandered back to his conversation with Shiro. He made a mental note to stalk Shiro’s Instagram for any ‘Sarahs’. He quickly finished in the bathroom and left, turning the light off. The dorm was dark, and he carefully made his way to Lance’s bed. 

When he climbed onto the bed and layed down, Lance’s arms curled around him. Keith shifted so he was face to face with Lance, who kissed his forehead softly. 

“I’m sorry if I did something to annoy you.” Lance said, so softly Keith could barely hear it. Keith’s heart broke a little. Lance, always trying to fix things, whether he could or not. Keith didn’t say anything in response, too tired to think of anything clever. Instead, he slung a hand around Lance’s waist, pulling him closer so they were chest to chest. Lance turned so he was laying on his back and Keith rested his head on his ribcage, hearing his heart beating through his light night shirt. He took a deep breath, trying to savor this moment. To him, their relationship wasn’t about the big extravagant things Lance did, it was these little moments of quiet, where the world narrowed down to just the two of them. Keith smiled and matched his breathing to Lance’s, falling asleep to the sound of his beating heart. 

\---------------------------------------------

Shiro left that next morning, waving goodbye to the two of them standing on the sidewalk, arms around each other’s shoulders. Keith waved until he couldn’t see the car anymore, and Lance steered him back inside. They walked up to their dorm in quiet, Keith trying to form words but didn’t know how. 

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Lance asked the minute they stepped into the dorm. Keith took a deep breath, closing the door behind them and walking further into their room to slump against the window. 

“Are you finally going to tell me about Bolivia?” Keith snapped back, before immediately regretting it when Lance stared at him, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. 

“Wait, what?” Lance asked, trying to compose himself and failing adorably. “How do you even know about that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Keith responded instead of answering Lance’s question. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 

“I told them no! I didn’t think it was a big deal if I didn’t end up going.” Lance tried to explain, which only pissed off Keith more.

“A big deal? Lance it’s a huge deal! It’s the opportunity of a lifetime! I know how much this would mean to you. How could you not tell me?” Keith’s voice broke on the last question, at the same time Lance’s heart did. 

“I was going to! I swear,” He started, moving closer to Keith, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. “I just wanted to wait. We’re in such a good spot right now, I didn’t want anything to change.” 

“Things are going to change, Lance! That’s life! We’re freshman in college, Lance. Life doesn’t change more than it does in the next four years. This is an opportunity for everything you’ve wanted!” Keith shrugged Lance’s hand away. 

“I just didn’t want this to end!” Lance let out a frustrated sigh and turning to face the wall. 

“And you think I do? Lance, dating you has been the one constant thing I’ve wanted my entire life.” Keith placed his hand on Lance’s chin, turning his head to face him. “But this is what you’ve been working towards for so long. It’s a way for you to pave your future. I can’t be the reason you don’t follow your dreams.” He paused, watching Lance’s face soften. “No, I won’t be the reason you don’t chase your future.” Lance smiled, and Keith could see his eyes watering slightly. 

 

“Keith…” Lance started, before clearing his throat. “I can’t just leave you behind. Not when I’ve waited so long for this.” 

 

“I’ve waited longer than you.” Keith joked, and Lance smiled softly. “But I can wait longer, you’re worth it. And I can’t be the cause of a decision you regret.” Keith could see the emotional conflict on Lance’s face. 

“God. Do you know how hard this is?” Lance groaned and Keith shifted, smiling. “I don’t want to go! I want you. I want to be here for you. I want to be able to watch our relationship grow. I want to stay here and watch movies and make stupid inside jokes. I can’t do that when I’m 5,000 miles away!” 

“Lance!” Keith’s voice caused Lance to turn back around and face him, his hands halfway through his hair. “You have to go. I’m not letting you say no.” Lance frowned, before his expression fell. 

“Do you really want me gone that bad?” Lance asked, his voice small. Keith stared at him, before realizing what Lance meant. 

“Of course I don’t! But our relationship isn’t worth your future! This could lead to a potential job! You can’t just ignore that.” Lance scoffed and Keith could see him building walls up. 

“I thought our relationship was my future. In my mind, you’re worth more than a job, but apparently you don’t think the same.” Lance moved, as if he was going to the door before he stopped and turned around. “You know what? I actually thought I was falling in love with you. Clearly it wasn’t mutual.” He looked like he expected a response but all Keith could do was let out a surprised grunt. “Are you kidding me?” Lance asked, face morphing into a scowl. “That’s all you have to say? Eloquent as ever, Keithy Boy.”

Lance opened the door and it finally clicked with Keith what was happening. He lurched forward in an attempt to catch Lance before he walked out the door. All he could do was graze Lance’s wrist as he walked into the hallway. 

“Stay.” Keith said, his voice low and almost inaudible. “Please.” Keith added, hoping Lance would say yes. Instead, he met Lance’s gaze, but his blue eyes were hard, with a slight sheen to them that was the beginning of tears. Lance pulled his wrist away and closed the door behind him. 

\---------------------------------------------

Lance woke up groggily on the floor of Plaxum’s dorm, his back aching in about thirty different spots. In all fairness, he could’ve stayed in the dorm. Keith point blank asked him to, but all of Lance’s emotions had blended together and left him in a state of confusion he interpreted as anger. He groaned and stood up, glancing over to Plaxum’s empty bed. It was only eight thirty, but she was quite the morning person and had eight o’clock classes nearly every day. Lance hadn’t taken any monday classes, for a recovery day from all the crazy parties he thought he would go to. Unfortunately, that left him with a whole day with nothing to do but mope over the Keith situation. It was just so frustrating, the timing of it all. How does one possibly make a decision like this? He had been waiting for this chance with Keith for his whole life, and now that it finally, finally arrived, Lance couldn’t even take the opportunity because of another great opportunity. Funny how life works that way. How even two amazing situations can be so painful once they overlap. 

He had no clothes to change into, so he walked back to his dorm, knowing Keith would be in class. The walk wasn’t too long, Plaxum lived in a dorm in the same general area as them, but it seemed to take more time than usual. It was bright outside, in a way Lance didn’t usually get to see. He had a rule about waking up before ten when he didn’t have to. The air seemed fresher somehow, even though it was still smoggy because it was still LA. It was almost… peaceful. But Lance probably wasn’t thinking straight, because he had never been a morning person and he wasn’t gonna start now. Still, he took in the air and the color of the all the fresh, blooming things around him. Everything was the shade of hope, so goddamn cheerful he almost forgot about the Keith situation. Until he got to the dorm. 

He hadn’t grabbed his key on the way out, rookie mistake, but the room was luckily unlocked when he got there. The lights were still on, unusual for the ever conscientious Keith Kogane. Keith’s bed was unmade, his phone lying on his desk table, clothes lying on the floor. Lance sighed at Keith’s telltale signs of dejection. His half of the room was usually clean and organized down to the highlighter on his desk. 

Lance walked over to his phone, to see it was unlocked and still opened. Keith must’ve run out of the dorm to class at the last minute. Keith had been looking through a photo album on his phone made up of pictures of Lance and him. Lance’s heart dropped as he swiped through their elementary days, front teeth missing. He swiped through their first days of school, their birthday parties, their sleepovers, their nights in Lance’s backyard staring up at the stars swearing that someday that’s where they would be. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. It all made him so sad. He hadn’t felt this sad in a long time before, the kind of sad that you can feel. The kind of sad that makes a fist around your heart and squeezes. The kind of sad that slows your breathing and makes it hard to even sit up. The kind of sad you don’t realize until it knocks all the wind out of you. 

He didn’t know how long he was sitting there, or whether he had stayed awake through it all, but at some point he heard the door click shut and opened his eyes. Keith threw his backpack on the ground and walked over to Lance. He sat down next to Lance and leaned his head over onto his shoulder. They sat like that for awhile, their chests rising and falling together. 

“We’ll make it work,” Keith said softly. “You have to understand, I couldn’t live with myself if you missed out on this because of me. And it’s because I’m falling in love with you.” 

Lance was quiet. He wasn’t sure if his voice would work, it felt dry and broken. “But what if we don’t?” Lance whispered the words so faintly that he could barely even tell if he had actually said it out loud. 

Keith smiled and looked up at him. “Hey, we always have before. Someway, somehow.” Keith linked his pinky with Lance’s. 

Lance’s mouth was pulled into a small line, his eyebrows sunken into his cobalt eyes as he tightened his finger around Keith’s. “Someway, somehow.” 

“Do you understand now? Why I can’t let you give this up?” Keith asked, looking up at Lance’s face for an answer. 

Instead of responding, Lance grunted and shoved his face into the crook of Keith’s neck. 

“Lance?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll go talk to the professor right away. After I’m done with this.” Lance murmured, muffled by Keith’s shirt. 

“Done with what?” Keith grinned as Lance pulled him into his arms and down onto the bed. 

“I didn’t sleep very well last night, I think I need a nap,” Lance yawned as Keith rested his head on Lance’s chest, an arm around his waist. 

“Funny thing, I didn’t either. It’s probably for the best we just lay down for a bit,” Keith’s muscles relaxed, the corners of his mouth pulling up uncontrollably as if gravity was moving the opposite direction in this moment. 

“Probably,” Lance agreed and drifted off, praising the absence of pressure on his chest that he had taken for granted before. 

\---------------------------------------------

“Lance, they have an entire season when everything is wet! You most definitely need a raincoat,” Keith pointed out as Lance groaned. 

“But then I have to go out and buy it, and I’m tired. I haven’t owned a raincoat since I was like nine!” 

“Lance.” 

Lance paused and then flopped down onto his bed, waving his hand lazily at the pad of paper sitting on his desk. “Fine. Put it on the list,” he conceded. 

Lance left in a week for Bolivia and he was definitely not prepared in the slightest, but he was excited. His heart pounded just thinking about it. The idea of making a difference, a real difference, in the world felt like every bad thing that happened was unimportant because he had found a purpose. It sounded cheesy, even in his own head, but it was true. It’s like the feeling you get when you study so hard for a test that you feel dead inside, but then you ace it and everything is okay. Everything felt worth it. 

Keith walked over, a small smile that reflected more in his eyes than on his mouth. “Come on, big shot. We’re so close to finishing,” Keith reached out a hand to help him up. 

“That’s what she said,” Lance snickered as he grabbed hold of Keith’s hand. Keith promptly dropped him. 

Lance yelped as he fell to the floor, but quickly laughed it off. He shook his head as he picked himself back up. “I was making a joke, jeez,” He chuckled lightheartedly and bumped his shoulder into Keith’s as they walked back towards his closet. 

“No jokes like that around your students though,” Keith laughed, pointing an accusing finger at Lance. 

Lance swatted Keith’s hand away, assuring him that he would be completely appropriate with the kids.

“In case you’ve forgotten,” Lance reminded him, “I have about a thousand children at my house, like all the time. If there’s one thing I know, it’s kids.” 

“That is a huge exaggeration,” Keith grinned, “but yeah I know.” His grin faded momentarily into a softer, sincere smile. “You’re going to be so great out there.”

Lance beamed as he looked into Keith’s smiling eyes and wondered how he would stand it without Keith at his side. Still, he was glad that he pushed him to do this. As much as Keith pretended to be a badass, with his piercings and his motorcycle and his stupid mullet, he really was a sweetie at heart. Lance leaned forward and kissed his nose, in response to which Keith instinctively wrinkled it up. Lance laughed softly and pulled him into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.” 

“Obviously,” Keith responded and pushed Lance away with a smirk. “But seriously, you’re like so close to being done packing, so…” 

Lance shoved him halfheartedly and laughed. “Yeah, yeah.” 

\--------------------------------------------

Lance really wasn’t sure what to think about today. He was so excited to finally do something with his life, to finally make a mark in the world, but everytime he looked at Keith he felt guilty. He knew Keith was happy for him, it showed in the way he smiled at him, his eyes softening and lips just barely tilting upwards yet somehow still expressing all of his emotions. Lance knew how bad Keith was at showing his emotions. He also knew that him leaving Keith behind in California was incredibly hard on Keith, no matter how hard the other man tried to hide it. Lance zipped up his carryon, and glanced around the room one last time. 

He couldn’t wait for Bolivia. The opportunity to be a student teacher in another country, while simultaneously working towards his teaching degree while working part time at a local school was amazing and unbelievable. It was still hard for Lance to accept that the program wanted him for this, not anyone else, him. It really was a dream come true, and his heart sped up just thinking about it. Lance slung his bag over his shoulder, grabbing one of his suitcases in one hand and walking towards the door. He was shipping some bags over after his flight, so he didn’t have to much to carry with him. 

“Ready?” Keith’s voice caught Lance’s attention. He was leaning against the open door frame, tossing the car keys in one hand. Lance could tell Keith was trying not to act nervous, and was hiding what he was actually feeling. He’d been around him too long to not recognize when Keith puts up a wall. Lance’s response was a grin as he slung his one free arm over his shoulder. 

“Ready when you are.” Lance said as Keith grabbed the suitcase to help him carry it down. Keith had pulled Lance’s car to the front and parked it idling. They tossed their bags in and climbed in, Keith behind the steering wheel. Lance had decided to give the car to his family for the year he was gone, and after his flight left, Keith was going to drive it to their house. 

They spent the ride in a comfortable silence, both too caught up in their emotions and thoughts to say anything. They pulled up to the airport a little too fast, in Lance’s opinion. Keith pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off, but didn’t get out of the car. 

“Are you okay?” Lance asked, his voice soft and quiet. Keith took a deep breath and turned to Lance. 

“I’m scared.” His voice broke on the second word and his walls came tumbling down as his expression fell. “I’m so scared, Lance. What if something happens to you? You’re in another country, I can’t be with you right away. What if long distance doesn’t work? What if you forget about me, or what if you want to end this? Lance, I can’t do thi-” Lance cut him off with a kiss before pulling away but resting their foreheads against one another. 

 

“I can promise you now, I could never forget about you, Keith. And I will try the best I can to make this work, whatever it takes, I’ll do it.” Keith smiled at Lance’s words, but he could see it was slightly forced. “God, Keith. We are the two most stubborn people on this earth. We can do this.” Keith laughed, and Lance grinned. The two of them climbed out of the car, making their way towards Lance’s terminal.

Keith was fidgeting, shuffling his feet, tugging on his shirt, and once in a while, running a hand through his hair. Lance could clearly see the uncomfortable look on him, so he dropped a hand closer to Keith’s letting it bump against his. Keith didn’t take it right away, but instead hooked their pinkies together and made a sound of contentedness. Lance let them walk like that for a little while, their hands swinging slightly out of time to each other, connected only at one finger. As they got closer to the door, Lance let go of Keith’s pinky to fully grab his hand, flashing the other a bright smile. 

Hunk, Pidge and Shiro had come to see him off, all three of whom were waiting near the door for the couple. They had wanted to give them some time alone before the big flight, something that Lance appreciated a lot. 

“Lance!” Hunk called out, and already had tears running down his face. “Buddy, I’m going to miss you so bad!” He cried, wrapping his arms around Lance, who dropped his bags to hug him back. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, big guy!” He started, but started crying along with Hunk. He could see Shiro nudge Keith, the two of them sharing a quiet conversation, until Shiro said something that caused Keith to turn red and elbow him hard in the ribs. The goodbye ended with Hunk sniffling at blowing his nose loudly as Pidge wrapped their arms around Lance. 

“Bye, Bitch.” Pidge whispered, and Lance could tell they were starting to cry. He laughed a little and hugged them a little tighter. 

“God, I’m going to miss your sarcasm so much.” He meant it to sound sarcastic, but it came out the opposite, earnest and sincere. Pidge just chuckled, and punched him lightly in the arm. Lance ruffled their hair in response, which drew a furious shriek as they rushed to adjust their glasses. 

Lance turned to Shiro, who had moved away from an expressionless Keith to come towards him. Shiro wrapped him in a hug, and Lance tucked his head against his chest. 

“I’m so proud of you, Lance. This is an amazing step you’re taking. I know you’re going to be perfect for the role. Bolivia is lucky to have you, and California will miss you like crazy.” Shiro, true to his dad nature, had to say the speech, and Lance was full out sobbing by the time he pulled away from him. 

He looked around at his three friends, and Keith hanging back from the rest of the group. Lance flashed them all a watery smile, before Hunk pulled them all into a huge group hug. There was a little complaining, but Lance couldn’t stop smiling as they all wrapped their arms around each other. 

He wanted to keep this moment in his mind, to remember this moment in every detail, and be able to pull it up when he’s homesick in Bolivia. He wanted to memorize the feeling of warmth radiating from everyone’s bodies in the close proximity, the sporadic sounds of sniffling from each member. He was going to miss this so fucking much. Lance’s voice got caught in his throat when he tried to speak, so he cleared in and rested his head on Hunk’s shoulder. Keith was the first to pull away, retreating back to the wall with his arms crossed. Pidge followed him soon after, standing on their tiptoes to whisper in his ear something that Lance couldn’t hear. Shiro gave one last hug before letting go, and standing by the other two. 

Shiro’s departure from the hug left Lance and Hunk alone again in an emotionally devastating hug. Hunk kept sniffling loudly and Lance was rapidly wiping his eyes. He was going to miss being able to see his best friend as often as he did. 

“Remember, anything that happens with Rock Girl, you tell me!” Lance insisted as Hunk nodded. “I mean, anything. If you guys so much as breathe near each other, I want to hear about it.” Hunk smiled, even though tears were running down his face. 

“I promise. And you need to call me about everything that happens! I want to hear all the stories!” Hunk said as he pulled himself together a little bit more. Pidge nudged Shiro, and they shared a glance that confused Lance. 

“We should, um, give you two a moment. We’ll be back in five minutes.” Shiro announced, clearing his throat and dragging Hunk away from Lance with the assistance of Pidge. Lance met Keith’s eyes as he looked away from their retreating friends. 

Keith pulled himself away from the wall and walked closer to Lance, who met him halfway. Keith wouldn’t meet his eyes as Lance softly grabbed his chin, making him turn towards him. Lance stared at Keith’s eyes for a minute, losing himself in the sundry collection of purple and gray. 

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Keith’s voice surprised Lance, the words coming almost too soft to hear. 

“I’m going to miss you too. You know that right? Leaving you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” Lance’s voice quivers slightly, but he doesn’t care. It scares him that Keith might not realize how hard this is for Lance. That Keith might not realize how important he was to Lance. “You know I…” Lance really wants to say I love you. He does, with all his heart. But the other half of him is realizing it’s not the time, the place or the situation. Keith’s eyes go wide and Lance can see him panicking internally. Trying to save his mistake, he finishes with, “I would be lost without you.” Yeah, lame, cliché, but at least honest and real. Keith visibly relaxes and smiles at Lance.

“Me too. Don’t forget about me in Bolivia?” Lance places a soft kiss on Keith’s mouth as soon as he finished his sentence. 

“I won’t ever be able to forget you.” Lance knows that’s one true constant throughout his life. No matter what he could ever do, Keith would be ingrained in every memory, feeling, sense. There would be no Lance without Keith. Keith tightens his arms around Lance before pulling away. Lance realized the rest of his friends had returned, and that he was running out of time before his flight. 

They all shared a goodbye again, and Lance kissed Keith one last time, before he went to his gate, his bag on his shoulder and a sad smile on his lips. 

\--------------------------------------------

Keith rushed out of the library and basically sprinted the whole way home. He had made a habit of sprinting around campus, to the extent that a few people only knew him as ‘that kid who runs literally everywhere’, but Keith didn’t mind. He had so much to get done and so little time to do it. He had always been a person who needed to go, and to go fast. Almost all of Keith’s teachers didn’t let him bring his skateboard into class, so he couldn’t even use that. And this was before the whole long distance thing. 

Lance worked from 8:00 am to 7:00 pm, in Bolivia time. Since Bolivia is ahead of California by three hours, they had a window of about 4:00 pm until 8:00 pm, in California time, to talk. Four hours is a pretty big period, but that wasn’t counting the time that Lance went out with the other teachers, or had to eat dinner, or on wednesdays and thursdays when Keith had a class until five thirty. Unfortunately, their lives weren’t stopping to make room for the constant skyping. 

But they made do. Keith had promised Lance, and himself, that they would find a way. So they did. That was the reason Keith was racing across the quad, because Keith had promised he would call today, before Lance went to bed, and he had forgotten his phone at the dorm. But it was almost 7:00 because Keith had gotten sidetracked with his Sociology study group by an argument about whether it was better to be ignorant and happy, or aware of the world around you and depressed. Keith had argued that it was better to know and deal with it than to be left in the dark. He said that when you were kept in the dark you were kept without your power. He said as important as happiness was, it wasn’t as important as being informed. It just wasn’t. 

But that’s besides the point. The important thing was that Lance was waiting for his call, and he was running out of time. He leaped over the legs of a couple who was having a picnic on the lawn outside his dorm, causing a few dignified squawks, and then dashed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He fumbled with his key and lunged for his bed the moment the door finally swung open. Rapidly dialing the only number he had memorized, a number he could type in his sleep at this point, Keith tried to simultaneously take off his shoes. 

“Hey, I was worried you weren’t going to call,” Lance’s voice was a bit raspy, and Keith smiled a bit. 

“Sorry I was so late, I got sidetracked,” Keith apologized, and fell back onto his bed, catching his breath. 

Lance laughed lightly and Keith could hear the fatigue in his voice. His smile fell a bit. “It’s really no biggy. It’s just nice to talk with you, I’ve had a long day.” 

“Oh yeah, what happened?” 

“Well, you would not believe the nerve of this little girl named Sofia. She’s kind of awesome, but not as a student. She is the sassiest nine year old I have ever met, and I grew up…” Lance yawned through the words as he continued with his story. “ I grew up with a girl who’s biggest role model was Jade the Bratz doll. Anyway, I’m talking to this girl... and after everything I say she rolls her eyes and says, ‘por que?’ and I’m sitting there like ‘because it’s the assignment’ and ‘because we’re learning about this and that’ and answering these stupid questions that she’s clearly asking just to get a rise out of me. Then, after recess she comes in and tells me.. She tells me that all the kids are staging a strike so they don’t have to learn about long division. The girl is nine years old and she organized a strike! I was like who even are you?” Lance went off into a long rant and Keith laughed and hummed at the right times. his monologue was broken apart with yawns every once in a while and it was making Keith tired just hearing it. “But how was your day?” 

“Oh, it was fine. I mean, you know just your average day in LA. A guy in a deadpool costume tried to twerk on me while I was on my way to get sushi, but that’s not out of the ordinary.” Lance laughed along to the story, but it was obvious that he was exhausted and not really there. “Listen, I can tell that you’re tired, you should just go to bed.” 

“No really, I’m fine,” Lance argued halfheartedly. 

“Lance,” Keith gently scolded. 

“No, I swear…” Lance yawned again and Keith cut him off. 

“Okay, no you need to rest. I’ll just call you tomorrow.” 

“I can’t do tomorrow, the kids are putting on a play for their parents next week, and we start rehearsals tomorrow after school. Saturday?” Lance responded a bit dismally. 

“I’m going back home for the weekend for my mom’s birthday, but I can probably call you from there?” Keith’s heart felt like a rock. This was how they ended every conversation, with a big discussion about their next phone call that just kept pointing out the flaws in their system. Their worlds were spinning in two different directions. 

“I don’t want to take away from your family time. Monday?” Lance offered and Keith sighed. Everyday it got a little more difficult. 

“Yeah, sure. Monday. Now go to sleep!” Keith laughed, although he didn’t really feel like laughing. Nothing was really that funny. 

Lance forced a laugh and agreed. “I miss you!” 

“I miss you too. A lot.” Keith said softly and sincerely. 

“Goodnight, babe,” Lance whispered, half asleep already. 

Keith chuckled a little. ‘Babe’ always caught him off guard. “Yeah alright. Goodnight.” 

He hung up and tossed his phone across the bed. He brought his hands up to his head and rested them there for a moment. It was a month into Lance’s endeavor, and it was going better than it usually goes for a lot of couples. So that was nice. Nevertheless, Keith missed him. He missed him so much, and as nice as it was to hear his voice, and see him on skype every once in awhile, it wasn’t satisfying. It wasn’t the same as being with him. The smell of Lance was fading from Keith’s pillow, and every night it got more and more difficult to sleep. Lance’s extra stuff was just sitting on the other side of the room, like covered up furniture in a haunted house. Without Lance, nothing in his pile of junk mattered. The desk was just a desk. The bed was just a bed. The calendar wasn’t the only thing that kept Lance organized, sloppily scribbled on and hung haphazardly, it was just a sheet of paper. His converse weren’t ratty because he wore them literally everywhere, they were just gross. His stuff just reminded Keith that he wasn’t there. That he wasn’t there and he wouldn’t be for another 11 months. 

It just hurt a little. That was all. 

\--------------------------------------------

Lance’s coworkers were really nice. He had been nervous that they would already have little teacher friend groups, or they wouldn’t talk to him because he would be so much younger than them, or that his spanish wouldn’t be good enough… Basically he had just been really anxious about having anyone to talk to for a year and a half. Someone must’ve looked down at him, though, and decided he deserved something easy because his coworkers were awesome. Most of the teachers were in their mid twenties and they all accepted Lance quickly. On Fridays they went out drinking, yeah they were those teachers, and after only a few weeks Lance was getting invited every time. At this point, he didn’t even need to be invited, he just went. When he didn’t understand something, or wasn’t used to something that they did there, the other teachers laughed with him, not at him. They were all super understanding, and it was pretty much the best situation he could’ve had. So, Bolivia was awesome and Lance loved it. The only issue was Keith. 

Well, that’s worded incorrectly. Lance wouldn’t say that Keith was an issue, it was more Keith and Lance were having issues making time for each other. They weren’t used to not seeing each other every day, and they ran out of things to talk about. It had gotten to the point where their schedules only aligned enough to talk once a week, but after updating each other on their week there wasn’t much else to say. They couldn’t argue about the pasta they had eaten for lunch, like usual, or laugh at the ugly shade of green that the guy across the hall had dyed his hair because they weren’t together. The conversations were getting more and more awkward, until they had to consciously come up with subjects to talk about. Usually, they just reverted into telling each other how much they missed the other. 

“I miss you so much,” Lance would say. 

“I miss you too!” Keith would respond. 

“It’s so hard not being near you,” Lance would groan back. 

“I know. The room feels empty without you.” Keith would frown. 

“I miss you.” Lance would respond. 

And so it went. Week after week. It wasn’t that they didn’t mean the things they said, they 100% did, it’s just there are only so many times you can say something until it becomes less important. It was established that they missed each other but there wasn’t much else to say. 

They kept keeping on though. Reminiscing over and over about the things they used to do and focusing on the past to get them through the present. It wasn’t that they didn’t still care about each other, it was just different. Lance wasn’t sure really. He just continued their routine, hoping it would be enough. 

Lance went into his room and opened up his laptop, pulling up skype. Keith picked up after a few seconds, smiling. He walked through a door and closed it. Lance heard laughing in the background and recognized the hallway outside their dorm. Keith smiled apologetically and shifted the computer into his hand better. 

“Hey! What’s up?” 

Lance smiled suspiciously. “Uh nothing on my end. Why are you in the hallway?” 

Keith laughed a bit forcefully and ran a hand through his hair. “I actually.. I’m so sorry but I forgot we were facetiming today, so I have some friends over. It’s uh Hailey, John and Margaret who are in my Calc class…” 

“Oh!” Lance was honestly a little surprised. Keith didn’t really have people over that much when he had been around. “Well, I can call you back later…” 

“No, no, no this is fine,” Keith reassured him as he sat down leaning against the wall. “They can wait, we were just playing Uno, but we’ve been playing for a while, so it’s probably a good time to take a food break anyway.” 

“Keith, it’s 10:00 in the morning, how long could you have been playing Uno?” Lance laughed, although it was a little weird that Keith would be sitting in the hallway talking to him with friends inside. 

“10:00 for you. It’s seven here, and we’ve kind of been playing all night?” Keith grinned and ran a hand through his hair again. 

“All night? How do you play something like Uno all night?” 

“Hey, don’t judge, it’s a good game! And also everyone in that room is very very competitive. If you think I’m competitive-” 

“You are competitive.” 

“Well yeah, but Hailey is even worse than me! She was bragging about her Uno skills and obviously I took that as a challenge-” 

“Obviously.” 

“-So we just kept doing rematch over rematch and eventually we all got really into it,” Keith laughed and glanced over at the door. 

“Sounds like you’re having a lot of fun, so maybe we should just talk later…” Lance felt guilty he was taking Keith away from his friends. He felt like a chore, a hindrance. 

“No, Lance it’s fine..” Keith started, but Lance could see his forced smile. As much as he wanted to talk to Keith, Keith had a life away from him now. Lance didn’t want to keep him from that. 

“No, really, I actually have some homework to grade, so it’s fine…” Lance lied. They didn’t really do homework for nine year olds. 

Keith paused, “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Go ahead party animal.” Lance reassured him, plastering on a smile. 

Keith beamed and him and the camera shook a bit as he stood up. “Alright. I miss you.” 

Lance sighed a bit, but Keith didn’t notice. “Yeah, I miss you too.” 

Keith hung up and the camera paused a bit as Keith gave the people inside the room an evil smirk. Lance figured if he would’ve stayed on a little longer he would’ve heard something along the lines of ‘are you ready to get your butts whooped?’ or something of the like. 

He set his computer down, and swallowed. His throat felt thick. It was good that Keith was doing stuff. Lance being gone shouldn’t keep him from being social. It was good that Keith was thinking about other things. 

Lance just hoped those other things wouldn’t replace him. He hoped they hadn’t already. 

\--------------------------------------------

Lance sank into his bed, his head spinning as he let out a loud sigh. His day had been crazy- and not in the good way. Sofia, who reminded him so much of his sisters, had been more obnoxious than normal and refused to do anything he asked, which of course led to a student mutiny. Lance had spent forty five minutes trying to calm everyone down. He just wanted to sleep, but the stack of papers needing to be graded was screaming at him. A glance at his watch told him it was 7:49 PM. He’d had a staff meeting after school, which took longer than it should’ve, and his bus was late, and he only got home a half an hour ago. 

Lance grabbed a sparkly blue pen and set to grading papers. He loved the teacher he was working with, but in her mind, his job was to do all of her work. Supposedly that’s what a student teacher’s job was, but at least it prepared him for the actual thing. He picked some music on his phone and flipped through the assignments, starting with the ones that were the easiest to read. 

He was halfway through the stack when his phone lit up, his annoying ringtone interrupting Shakira’s La Bicicleta. He glanced at it quickly, and saw the contact for one of his colleagues, a Canadian student teacher named Jake. He was part of the group that had quickly become Lance’s friends, and was incredibly helpful with the whole teaching thing. Jake had joined as a student teacher a couple months before Lance, and had helped him learn the ropes. When Lance first came to Bolivia, Jake offered to take him out to dinner and told him all the ins and outs to the job. It had become a regular thing after school on Tuesdays. 

“Hey!” Lance exclaimed when he answered. They always spoke in Spanish around school, but they normally used English when it was just them. 

“Lance! You won’t believe the shit Marco pulled today. Are you sitting down? You’ll need to be.” Jake launched into a story about one of his students. Lance quickly got pulled in, laughing out loud in his quiet little apartment. It was nice to be able to share his day with someone, and their phone calls had become a common thing whenever their students were out of control, (which was most days, honestly.)

When Jake finished his story, Lance was laughing so hard his stomach hurt and his eyes were watering. Jake was laughing along, adding snide comments about Marco, which only brought more laughter. Lance finally stopped laughing long enough to breathe, and tried to pull himself together. 

“That’s hilarious! God, I love that kid!” Lance chuckled, wiping his eyes lightly. 

“It’s not funny! It was humiliating!” Jake insisted, but Lance could tell he was laughing a little, too. Lance smiled down at the papers on his lap and let Jake go into another story about his kids. They talked for another hour before Lance realized he hadn’t made any progress on his grading. 

“Hey, I gotta go, papers to grade, you know the drill.” Lance said finally, albeit reluctantly. Jake sighed dramatically on the other end. 

“Ugh, thanks for reminding me. I should probably finish my grading too. We still on for dinner tomorrow?” He asked and Lance smiled along. 

“Yeah, of course. Although, if Sofia makes another scene, you better expect me to spend the night complaining.” He smirked a little, knowing Jake couldn’t see it. He liked Sofia, honestly, it was just a little hard sometimes. 

“Wouldn’t expect anything less. You sound really tired. Go to bed, and if you have anything left to grade, I’ll do it during my prep hour tomorrow.” Jake suggested and Lance felt like a huge weight had lifted. 

“You’re the best. I’ll try to finish, but I might hold you to that. Thank you so much! Buenas noches, Jake!” Lance felt a smile growing on his face as he looked at the stack still left to grade. 

“Buenas noches, Lance.” Jake responded before hanging up and leaving Lance alone in his small dark room, illuminated only by the phone screen and a single desk lamp. His phone was almost dead, so he plugged it in and turned his ringer off to stop distractions. 

Lance rubbed his eyes and seperated the stack into two piles. If Jake was offering, well, Lance would take him up on that. But, it was his job after all, so he attempted to get as much done as he could. He started on the next sheet, circling words and check marking correct work. A loud yawn interrupted his work and he leaned back to stretch. 

It was only 10:16, but Lance was exhausted. He had finished the small pile of grading left, leaving a few papers for Jake tomorrow. He slid the papers into a folder, and cleaned up his desk before getting ready for bed. Even in Bolivia, he still continued his lengthy skin care, Keith’s teasing be damned. 

Shit. Keith. Lance ran out of the bathroom, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and face mask still drying. His phone displayed three missed calls from Keith, a voicemail and a few texts. 

Lance? Pick up

Okay I guess you’re not near your phone. I’ll try again later. 

You’re probably asleep. Goodnight then I guess. 

Lance quickly opened his phone and played Keith’s voicemail.

“Hey Lance. If you could pick up that’d be great. I thought we were supposed to talk at 6:00 or, well, 9:00 for you. Well, uh, I only have a half an hour left before my night class so if you could call, that’d be great. Uh, bye.” 

Lance groaned at the voicemail. Keith was just as awkward and angry in a voicemail as he is real life. It annoyed Lance at how angry Keith was. Sure, Lance missed the call. But Keith had missed it too a couple of times! And Keith knew how busy Lance’s life was. He couldn't just drop everything after a long day of an actual job to answer the phone. 

Hey Keith! I’m sorry, I was grading papers. Call tomorrow? Miss you a lot <333

Lance sent him a text to save his concious and returned to the bathroom to wash off his mask. When he was finished, he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Why was this so hard? So many couples make it work, so why were they any different? He rubbed a hand over his face angrily and let out a loud groan. 

His whole relationship with Keith was starting to turn into too much of an obligation. It wasn’t fair to Keith and it wasn’t fair to Lance. In the darkness of his small room, Lance’s gaze flicked to the moon peeking through his blinds. Maybe this wasn’t going to work out. For the first time since he came, he took the time and actually thought it through. Was their relationship worth all the stress it had caused? As he fell asleep, he realized the answer, even if he didn’t want to say it aloud. 

\--------------------------------------------

Keith and Lance hadn’t talked in a month. In a month! Every time one of them was free, the other was busy. Lance was working on the play that their class was doing after school and all of Keith’s classes were adding more and more homework to the point where he didn’t even have an hour to spare for Lance. He wanted to talk to him of course, but with how difficult it had been, he could tell they were both getting annoyed with the constant back and forth. Finals were coming up the next week and Keith was really regretting his idea to take an extra class this semester. He was so stressed out all the time! He didn’t even have time for game nights with his friends. He had a constant headache and his shoulders were so tight. He had even tried getting a massage and it still didn’t do anything. The masseuse had told him to try and take some stress out of his life. He had barely refrained from laughing in her face. He was a college student trying to balance a long distance relationship. He was made of stress. 

Friday night, he was on the verge of having a breakdown. Keith usually made a point to not cry and was very good at getting rid of emotions in other ways, but the whole day he had been on the verge of tears. It sucked, and he was just happy to be home. Antok had invited him to a party, but he had told him he was sick. “Stomach flu, or chickenpox, or maybe ebola,” he had said and laughed tightly. Antok laughed along and told him he would see him some other time. Antok was great in that way, if you didn’t want to do something he didn’t ask questions. 

So Keith was lying in bed, surrounded by notes that he had already looked over a million times but somehow still couldn’t remember. History was his worst subject, he was so bad with years, but that was basically all the professor tested them on. He didn’t see the importance of remembering at what exact point the Cold War started if he knew the reason that it did. He flipped flashcard after flashcard after flashcard and he got no results, but he couldn’t fail. Something inside him was steel and wouldn’t let him give up. 

He decided to take a little power nap to help him focus better. He was just drifting off when his phone rang. Loudly. Keith groaned and threw the covers off of him as he walked over to his phone. He picked it up quickly and grunted, “What?” 

“Hey now, that’s no way to answer the phone para su novio, is it?” It was Lance and his words were slurred as he scolded Keith. He was drunk. Keith was fine with drinking, but when Lance got drunk he got blackout drunk, and it got on Keith’s nerves. He looked at the clock. It was about 1am there. He had told Keith that the teachers went out for drinks on Fridays, but he had expected they went out for a beer. Lance sounded absolutely wasted. 

“Sorry, I was just about to fall asleep. I’m taking a quick nap and then going back to studying.” 

“Oh wooooooow,” Lance started, holding out the ‘ow’ sound for what seemed like an eternity. “So, you have time for sleep but not for me? Jake get a load of this guy, he can sleep but he can’t talk to me,” Lance hiccuped and Keith heard him bump into something. 

“Lance, I’ve been studying non stop, I’m just trying to rest a little bit, I’ve been really stressed out,” Keith explained but Lance didn’t seem to be listening. 

“Mmmmmhmmmmmmm,” He grumbled and Keith rolled his eyes. “Sure sure sure, Keithy boy. You’re really stressed out. Well, yo tengo estres tambien! Crees que it’s only you?” Lance faded in and out of Spanish, which was his telltale sign that he was so drunk he couldn’t even control himself. 

“Lance.” 

“No. Listen to me now Keith. Bolivia is great, but being a teacher is hard! I’m trying to make time para ti, pero tu nunca put any effort into this relationship! And it’s so hard Keith! It’s so hard!” 

This was the wrong day for all of this to happen. Keith knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Lance was drunk and probably didn’t mean to say this, but he didn’t care. He had hard days too, and Lance wasn’t there just as much as Keith wasn’t there. He told him that. 

“Oh, I’m not there for you? I once cancelled a rehearsal just because you could only talk on Saturdays! I let you hang out with your friends playing cards instead of talking to me!” 

“You told me that I could and that you had something else to do!” 

“I didn’t! You should’ve tried harder to keep me on the phone! I said I was grading homework but you know that we don’t give third graders homework! Tu nunca me escuchas! Never! I’m so tired of it, Keith, I’m so tired of this!” 

“I’m tired too Lance! I’m sorry that I had people over and I forgot once, but don’t say I don’t put effort into this! Lance I’m just trying to actually pass my classes so I’m so sorry I can’t talk to you every second of the day. This is not all on me, you asshole!” Keith’s voice cracked and his throat started to burn. He could feel tears coming, but he held them back. 

“I’m not an asshole!” Lance screamed at him. “You’re the asshole!” 

“No you!” 

“No you!” 

“If you think I’m such an asshole then why did you like me in the first place!” Keith was full on screaming, knowing full well that everyone on his floor could probably hear him. He didn’t care. 

“I don’t know! I must’ve been fucking loco!” Keith heard someone on the other line asking Lance to quiet it down. “You quiet it down, you fucking shit bag!” Keith heard some muffled sounds and then suddenly there was no background noise. “I got kicked out of the bar, are you happy? You’re ruining my life. I’m having this wonderful opportunity and all I can do is worry about losing you.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t worry about me if you were so ‘loco’ to even like me!” 

“Yeah well maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I never even liked you at all, and I just felt bad because you had a pathetic crush on me since seventh grade. That’s six years, Keith. I was dating a girl and you still were pathetically in love with me. That’s what you are Keith. Fucking pathetic.” His last words were like venom and Keith’s face felt like it was burning. He could barely get out any sounds he was so angry. 

Keith was crying now, but he couldn’t even feel it. “Fine, let’s just break up then. Let’s break up if you think I’m so fucking pathetic. Screw you.”

“Fine! That’s what I wanted all along!” 

“Fine!” Keith shouted and someone pounded on the door telling him to keep it down. “Oh, and Lance?” 

“What?” Lance practically spit into the phone. 

“Make sure to write it on your hand so you remember in the morning, because you can’t drink a beer without getting completely plastered! ” 

“I’m sober enough to know this is the best decision I’ve made all year.” Lance said quietly and Keith hung up. 

He threw his phone onto his bed and punched the wall. He then promptly groaned and grabbed at his hand, instantly regretting the idiotic decision to slam his fist into a cinderblock wall. He slid onto the floor, crying and clutching at his hand. It was the kind of crying exhausts you, that takes over your entire body, so that you have to gasp for air. Curling in on himself, no words came to mind. He couldn’t even think. He just sat there and sobbed until he eventually fell asleep. 

\--------------------------------------------

Lance woke up with a pounding head. His eyes hurt to open them and the sun streaming through the blinds was too bright to look at. He groaned loudly, and realized how dry his throat was. He slowly got up, every movement feeling sluggish and exhausting. Last night was foggy in his memory, but slowly coming back to him. He’d gone drinking with his friends and… got blackout drunk. Of course. Lance sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Black writing on his hand distracted him, and he brought his palm closer to his face. In terrible handwriting, black letters reminded Lance of everything that happened last night. 

BROKE UP WITH THE ASSHOLE. YOU’RE WELCOME SOBER LANCE:)

“No... oh no, oh shit.” Lance panicked, reading the words on his palm and drunken memories of yelling and a heartbreaking phone call flooded his mind. He grabbed his phone, checking the latest calls. To his horror, a received call to Keith at 1AM is at the top of his recent calls. His stomach was stuck in his throat as he stared at his phone. 

So that was it? Fifteen years of being friends, finally confessing and it’s all over after six months? It was too much for Lance to process. His head was pounding from his nasty hangover, but Lance couldn’t be bothered to get water and Advil. He slid off his bed, and tucked his knees to his chin. Lance felt a gaping hole forming in his chest as he realized the full extent of what happened last night. 

“FUCK!” He shouted loudly, slapping a hand on the ground before slapping a hand over his mouth. One of his neighbors knocked on the wall angrily and Lance apologized, not knowing if they could even hear him. God, why was he so stupid? Keith should’ve known better than to deal with something that important with drunk Lance. No, Lance was done blaming Keith for everything. He himself was just as much of the problem as Keith was.

Lance groaned loudly and pulled himself to his feet. He could tell he was still slightly out of it by his reaction. Normally, his response would be filled with ugly sobbing, watching 10 Things I Hate About You (honestly the best rom com ever, Heath Ledger was a babe) on repeat, and eating a gallon of rocky road ice cream. Instead, Lance stumbled to the kitchen, shielding his eyes away from the harsh sun and grabbing a glass of water. 

He knew his Normal Break Up Mode would kick in later, but for now, he needed to do something to get rid of his splitting headache. He found a bottle of Aspirin in his cupboard and swallowed two. The ring tone of his phone was shattering against his ears as he rushed into the other room. 

A stupid part of him expected it to be Keith, calling to beg for forgiveness and apologize. Instead, it was Jake. Lance tried to push down the disappointed feeling and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Lance! Glad you finally picked up, I’ve been trying to call you all morning!” Jake exclaimed, his voice too cheery for Lance. 

“Yeah, sorry I turned my ringer off when I was sleeping. Do you need something?” Lance didn’t mean to sound rude, but talking on the phone with a too enthusiastic Jake wasn’t helping his mood at all. 

“Sorry, man. I, uh, just wanted to check in on you. You had a pretty rough time last night.” Jake’s voice was soft enough to show his concern and Lance’s heart swelled a little. Screw Keith. He had people who actually cared about him right here. “Not to intrude or anything, but it sounded like you and Keith broke up last night. Are you feeling okay about it?” 

Lance opened his mouth to respond, and he tried to speak, but everything hit him at once. Fifteen years. How could they just end it like that? The wave of tears came and Lance broke down, his voice shaking as he still attempted to answer him. Instead, all that came out was a pathetic choked sob. Tears spilled over and ran down his face leaving watery trails. God, it hurt so bad. 

“Lance! Are you okay? Oh, God, do you want me to come over?” Jake’s voice sounded so worried, so concerned, so full of emotion that it broke Lance a little inside. If Jake, a guy he met only a couple months ago could care this much about him, why couldn’t Keith? 

“This is harder than I expected.” Lance finally said, his voice coming through broken and high pitched. 

“I’m leaving my apartment now. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. I’m here for you, Lance.” Lance smiled as his tears continued to fall. He hear Jake hang up and set his phone down, wiping angrily at his face. Keith was an asshole, but as Lance thought about it, he realized so was he. There had been so many times Keith had tried to talk to him and Lance blew him off because he was “too tired.” As he looked back on the past few months, it hit him how long the signs had been there. Deep down, he knew both of them were to blame, but it was easier to put Keith at fault than himself. And to think, he had almost said I love you. 

A knock echoed in his apartment, and he slowly stood up from the chair he was in and answered the door. Jake was standing there holding a plastic bag up.

“This might have been stupid of me, but I remember you telling me about your breakup with Nyma and well,” Lance smiled through his tears and peeked into the plastic bag. “It’s not rocky road, but it’s still chocolate.” Jake attempted to lift Lance’s mood, and even if he was failing miserably, it was still a nice gesture. Jake walked past Lance and grabbed two spoons from the drawer. Lance went and sat on his ratty couch, grabbing his laptop and pulling up Netflix. 

They spent the day watching whatever romantic comedies Netflix had to offer, and finishing three quarts of ice cream. Jake called delivery from Lance’s favorite restaurant. It wasn’t anything like the shitty take out that Lance lived off of Freshman year, and was his favorite find in La Paz since his arrival. They ate while talking, Lance adding little stories about Keith every once in a while. He’d stopped crying around the third movie, and felt a little better. He missed Pidge, Hunk and Shiro like crazy, but Jake was doing his best to be a good friend and it was enough for him. 

Jake ended up spending the night, sleeping on his couch after Lance spent a half an hour trying to get him to take the bed. There was a phrase, one door closes and another opens, that Lance thought of now. Maybe he had lost Keith, but he had formed a new bond with a great friend. Obviously, one wasn’t better than the other, but it was still nice. Lance contently fell asleep, a small smile on his face. 

\--------------------------------------------

Keith had decided the best way to deal with the Lance….situation would be just to ignore it. Finals were almost over, he had a calc final the next day and an American Lit final the next day, but then he was done. His entire family, even Shiro who was home visiting, were driving up to help him move out of the dorm. He was originally going to live with Lance again the next year, but because of the Bolivia thing he had plans to move into a three person dorm with Kolivan and Antok. Keith didn’t have a car though, and neither of them lived close to him so they couldn’t help each other out. Honestly Keith was looking forward to seeing his mom and dad. He hadn’t seen them since a brief weekend in March right after Lance had left. It was June, and he had had a rough few months. When his mom called to inform him that they were doing a family road trip to help him he had tried to insist that they didn’t all need to come, but he was secretly really excited. 

He hadn’t told any of them about the Lance situation yet, he figured he would just casually bring it up when he saw them later that week. He didn’t want to make a big deal about it, his family loved Lance. Although Lance didn’t have the best way of actually breaking up with him, they weren’t working and they both knew it. Keith’s resentment had faded as long as he didn’t think about it too much. So he would tell his family that it was a clean, easy, mutual breakup and that his hand was bruised so much because he accidentally slammed it in a door. 

After his American Lit final on Thursday morning, Keith had filled the rest of his day hanging out with friends and saying goodbyes to people so that he didn’t have to be alone. That was his strategy. If he was never alone he didn’t have to think. Antok had finally gotten him to go to a party that night so he would have a few drinks and then go back to his dorm and when he woke up, his family would be there to take him home. 

Home. Spending the summer home was the best decision Keith ever made. It would be so relaxing not having to worry about getting food, and his mom made the best food. He could practically taste her homemade tortellini just from thinking of it. Yes, homemade tortellini. That’s right. Keith smiled to think about how extra his mom was that she couldn’t just buy packaged food at the store, she had to hand make it, in comparison with Keith who lived off ramen and Kraft mac and cheese cups. And he knew his dad probably had an entire summer worth of things for them to work on. Ted Shirogane was one of those people who liked to be doing something at all times, and his face lit up a little bit more when Keith offered to help. He was the kind of dad that doesn’t force you to do anything, but gets so excited when you offer that even the boring things are worth it. He barely stopped smiling when he worked on Keith’s motorcycle with him. 

His back pocket buzzed and he picked it up to see that Shiro was calling. He grinned and answered the phone. 

“What up, brother of mine?” Shiro asked, over-pronouncing each consonant. 

Keith laughed, “Nothing, you?” 

“Well, I’m sitting in Matt’s basement and he just told me that Pidge is not coming home for the summer because they got an internship at Google? I am astonished, conflicted, and a bit angry no one thought to tell me? Did you know about this?” He whined in betrayal and it just made Keith laugh more. 

“Yeah I know, they’re too smart to spend time with us anymore,” Keith pretended to be hurt along with Shiro, although he was more proud than ‘astonished, conflicted and angry’. 

“They’re eighteen, Keith. I thought they were cool when they skipped a grade and now they got an internship their freshman year of college? It makes no sense, no sense whatsoever.” Shiro was dramatic if anything, and Keith could basically see him in this moment, one hand draped over his forehead, moping against a beanbag and sighing excessively. God he missed him. 

“Some people are just destined for greatness, I don’t know what to tell you,” Keith said trying to maintain the melancholic tone of voice, but he broke with a chuckle. 

“You laugh, but someday they won’t even remember our names and we’ll see who’s laughing then. Sigh, sigh, tear, tear,” Shiro sulked. 

“Whatever. Hey, what time are you coming up on Friday?”

“We’re leaving here around 8:00 in the morning, so probably like around 11:30?” 

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll make sure I’m all packed up.” 

“Alright, well I have to get back to the game, Matt is glaring at me. Hey, also, I think Sarah is going to come into town a bit this summer, so you’ll get to meet her. I really think you’ll like her,” Keith could practically hear Shiro blushing and he shook his head. He heard Matt groan in the background and Shiro argue with him briefly about how she really was nice, and he didn’t understand why Matt didn’t like her. Keith shook his head again, this time for Shiro’s obliviousness. 

“Yeah, alright, well I have to go too. I’m meeting some friends for lunch,” Keith said so he didn’t have to listen to any more arguing. 

“Okay, have fun. Bye bye little bro. Love you,” Shiro said, obviously still distracted by Matt.

“Yeah, yeah. See you thursday,” Keith said and hung up, walking up to the table where Hailey and John were waiting. 

\--------------------------------------------

When Keith woke up his entire body ached. He faintly remembered the night before, but he had seen a new Facebook post of Lance’s as he arrived and had promptly taken about eight shots of tequila. So it was safe to assume that it was going to be a really shitty day. He tried to sit up and roll off his bed, until he realized that he wasn’t on his bed. He was lying in the middle of the floor of his dorm room and at that moment he was very glad that he hadn’t applied to get a new roommate after Lance left. That would’ve made this situation a lot harder. Keith stood up, almost falling over with dizziness, but stumbled over to a water bottle on his desk and chugged it. He looked over into the trash can to see that it was covered in vomit. Great. At least he had made it into the trash can. He reached over and took the bag out of the bin and tied it up. Slipping on some shoes he made his way out to the dumpster outside of his dorm. He passed by Kolivan and Antok’s room on his way, and peeked in through the open door. The two boys were wrapped up in blankets, leaning against their bed posts, sound asleep. Keith smiled, as much as he could with that kind of headache, and closed their door lightly. 

After returning to his room, he glanced at his phone. 1:06. He hadn’t realized he slept so long. He went to get something to change into before he realized that he had already packed up all of his stuff last night. He had packed up his things. After a moment he realized that his family was picking him up today. At 11:30! He scrolled through his notifications searching for the texts from Shiro that he knew he would have, ‘Are you ready?’ ‘give me a call’ ‘what’s going on?’, but they weren’t there. Shiro had only texted him On our way around 9:00. So they left a little later than they said, so they were probably close. Maybe there was traffic. Keith let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He unplugged his phone and threw his charger into his backpack. He’d go grab some food and when they texted or called that they were here he would be ready to go. So he grabbed his phone and key and left. 

When he had finished breakfast and they still hadn’t called, Keith started to get worried. Even if the traffic was horrible it wouldn’t take this long. It was 2:15 and Keith called Shiro. It went straight to voicemail, so he called again. Same thing. He probably had his phone off, Keith rationalized. There probably wasn’t anything really happening. Traffic in and around LA was crazy, so they probably got caught there, or stopped for lunch. It was probably fine. So Keith went back to his room and laid down for a little bit. 

When he still hadn’t heard from them half an hour later he started to really worry. He called his mom three times, and his dad four times. Straight to voicemail, each time. He started to pace and his headache got worse. But it was probably nothing. Keith knew it was nothing. Keith’s throat started to tighten, and maybe it was just the hangover, but he thought he was going to cry. He went to the bathroom and splashed his face with some cold water to calm down, when he heard his phone ring from the other room. 

As he toweled off his face, he laughed at his own paranoia. That was probably Shiro now, and he had just over-thought the situation, like he always did. But it wasn’t Shiro. It was a local call from a number that he didn’t have in his phone. Probably just another random company asking for money or politician asking for votes. He picked up lazily, “Hello?” 

A woman with a scratchy voice responded, “Hello, is this Keith Kogane?” 

“Yes, who is this,” Keith answered as he walked over and laid down on his bed. 

“This is the West Hills Hospital, we’re calling on behalf of your parents and brother…” Keith shot up in bed, his head pulsing with the sudden movement. The next few moments felt like he was dreaming, watching himself from across the room. His body went numb, his eyes glazing over. He caught phrases over the phone: “car crash”, “father dead on arrival”, “Takashi… surgery”, “come as soon as possible”, “so sorry”. 

He agreed quickly and hung up, stumbling out of the dorm to where his motorcycle was waiting. 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Keith parked his bike, and jumped off, his hands shaking as he pulled his phone out. He had to call someone. His mind raced through his options, and immediately Lance flashed in his mind. No. Not him, not now. He could call Hunk or Pidge, even John or Hailey. Keith could feel his legs moving without him realizing it, already rushing to the hospital door. 

How the hell did this happen? His dad was a safe driver, so was his entire family. They’d never had any car accidents except for when a man rear ended his mom. They never made any mistakes and were meticulous about road rules. Keith’s mind was racing, supplying thought after thought until his head hurt. He entered the lobby and ran to the counter. 

“Kogane? Keith Kogane, my parents are…” He trailed off as he scrounged for his driver's license, proving his identity. The receptionist nodded, her eyes understanding as she typed the name into the computer. 

As soon as she told him the room number, he took off, practically sprinting down the halls. He paused for a second, debating the stairs or the elevators. He opted for the stairs, the faster pace matching his heartbeat. He raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. His mind had stopped thinking, reminding him of TV static, white noise that filled his thoughts and consumed his fear. That was all he was. A man built of static and white noise, no room for thought or emotion, no room for humanity. He burst out of the stairwell, dashing through the third floor. He barely saw the people giving him weird looks, or the voice that told him to slow down. He couldn’t slow down, not when he wasn’t sure how much time he had. 

Keith finally found the lobby the receptionist had told him to wait in and sank into a chair. His heart was hammering in his ears, his blood rushing louder than the ocean. He couldn’t breathe, every breath felt like a drowning gasp for air. Sitting bothered him, he felt guilty for just sitting. Surely, there was something he could do? 

He paced in front of the waiting area, taking five steps before reversing his direction. The pattern of it helped him steel himself against the wave of emotion that was slowly overcoming the static in his head. Keith fidgeted with his phone, tugging his case on and off just for something to do. He felt helpless, it was like being a five year old again, and losing his family in the grocery and thinking they were gone forever. Except this time they might be. Keith’s breathing hitched and he let out a shaky breath that sounded like an aborted sob. 

A hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder and Keith whirled around to face whoever had touched him. A young nurse stood there, concern flooding his green eyes. Keith shrunk into himself, the hand falling off his shoulder with the motion. 

“Excuse me, sir. I think you need to sit down. There’s a small room not too far from here if you want to be alone.” The nurse motioned down the hallway and Keith froze. 

“I can’t leave. My family, they’re here in a room… if something happens… I can’t leave!” Keith’s voice was a lot faster than he meant, and an octave too high. He could feel his heart rate rise as his panic built. 

“What’s your name, sir? I can find out details for you.” The nurse offered. 

“Keith Kogane. Please, I need to know what’s going on with my family!” His voice sounded stupid and desperate. The nurse nodded at him and went behind the counter, typing something into the computer. 

Keith hated begging. He hated pleading. He hated anything that makes someone sink lower than they are to get something. He hated the sound of it and he hated the idea. He didn’t like not being the one in control, not being able to dictate what was happening and what wasn’t, or what he knows or gets. But God dammit, how he would beg and plead now. He just needed his family to be okay, he needed them to be safe.

The nurse looked up from the computer, his gaze following Keith across the room. After a second, he got up from the computer, asked for a moment and disappeared. Keith could feel his heart rate pick up, faster than it already was. The static had returned and it made Keith feel numb.

A few minutes after the nurse left, a doctor came into the waiting room, her coat swishing behind her, the noise distracting Keith. Everything was too loud, the lights were too bright, his shirt was too itchy. He felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“Mr. Kogane?” She asked and Keith nodded mutely. “How about we take a seat? I have some things I’d like to discuss with you.” Keith sank into the chair as the doctor sat next to him carefully. “I am assuming you heard about you father.” Keith nodded again and she looked up, her eyes full of misplaced apologies.

“Can you, um,” Keith cleared his throat slightly and stared at the arm of his chair, picking at the stuffing. “Could you tell me how?” The doctor nodded in understanding. 

“When the cars collided, your father’s head hit the window, and the impact of the crash and his neck killed him instantly. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but it was a short death, I promise he wasn’t in pain.” Keith could barely hear her, he felt like he was a million miles away, surrounded by clouds and everything, the lights, the sounds, was blanketed in fog. 

“Your mother and brother are in surgery as we speak, although your brother’s should be done within the next hour. I can promise you, we are doing everything we can.” She assured him before standing up. “You’ll be here for a while, there’s a cafeteria in the basement…” The doctor said more things but Keith tuned her out. His father was dead. His father was dead. His brother and mom were in surgery. Keith felt like screaming. Instead, he stood up, walking past the doctor and straight to the bathroom. The fog that was blocking everything was back, and he could feel it choking him. He splashed water on his face, then stood there, gripping the sides of the porcelain sink with such force his hand turned white. He stared in the mirror at himself. His hair was a mess, all over the place from his ride and the stress and his face was blank. God. He took a shaky breath, but it felt like he had the weight of the world sitting directly on his lungs. When he could at least inhale a fraction more, he used his trembling hand to pull his phone out of his pocket. He hastily dialed a number he knew by heart, his phone almost falling from his hands by the movement. As soon as it started ringing, Keith pressed it against his ear until it was all he could hear. 

“Hey! You’ve reached the most amazing and fantastic Lance McClain! Leave your number and I’ll call you back later! Have an amazing day and remember you’re awesome!” Keith could hear the voicemail repeat, this time in Spanish, but the phone had already fallen to the floor. Keith’s shoulders shook as sobs racked his body. His body was falling, but he hit the wall of the bathroom and slid down, curling into himself as the tears came. 

When the wave of emotion passed, reality hit him. His dad was dead, but Shiro and his mom were still in surgery. He had to be there for them as soon as they were out. Keith took a deep breath, pulling himself together and rinsing his face one more time before heading back to the lobby. The doctor was there, waiting for him. At the sight of her, he picked up his pace, running to her. 

“Please tell me you have news, please.” Keith begged shamelessly, forgetting all of his past resentments. There was nothing else to do but beg and plea for information, for survival. The doctor looked down at her clipboard for a moment, seemingly steeling herself before looking up to meet Keith’s eyes.

“Mr. Kogane, your family is out of surgery, but I’m afraid I don’t have good news. Takashi is out of surgery, but has been put in a medically induced coma. Your mother has been pronounced brain dead, the operation didn’t work, I’m so sorry. You have two options going forward, it’s up to you how we proceed with them both.” 

Keith could hear her talking, and he tried his hardest to listen, he could see words coming out of her mouth but he couldn’t understand it. Whatever she was saying, it went right over Keith’s head. How the hell did this happen? His parents were the best people he had ever met, never intentionally causing harm and devoting their entire lives to helping people. His breath was gone now, only sharp, ragged intakes were moving his lungs. His head felt a hundred miles higher than everything, his head spinning and screaming. 

The doctor was saying something else, but Keith gave up trying to understand. He stood up, making a run for the bathroom, but his legs wouldn’t let him move that fast, and instead, he staggered before falling into another chair. Tears came again, his shoulders rising and falling with silent sobs. This was the end. Everything was over. His childhood was over, his life was over. The doctor was talking to the nurse and Keith could see them in his peripheral vision but his eyes weren’t focusing. The static came back, louder than ever before and it phased out all of the sadness, all of the noise and Keith felt himself numb, but the sadness and grief hid behind the numbness, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, gripping his thoughts. This was it. It was all over. Keith let out a loud sob, full of grief and pain before leaning his head in his hands, tears slipping in between his fingers and hitting the floor, leaving tiny water stains like raindrops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, we love the comments and kudos!! Thanks for reading, hope you liked!


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